#nelliesnature

[nelliesnature]

Seirsha’s Lip-Sync

The music conjoined the realms of spirits and humans at last

Others hesitantly wondering perhaps this came too fast

Maybe just believing isn't enough

Realizing the polarity of these worlds is rough

Knowledge could float through your thoughts or flood them

Then is ignorance bliss? My how I sound like ‘em

Another good friend I had, still turned up like the last one

Keeping me used and bruised but hey no complaints, none

Maybe open your mouth and say what you mean

Its so fucking easy until the time comes and it's worse then you've seen

Frozen in a wonder of thoughts, what best to decide

Then I hear my moment is up ”Take the L”  and it hurts my pride

I dream floating away into the angelic clouds as i’m carried by a dove

My soul shrinks for a moment to then realize that's how they love

Well I can't change you that's just not my job

Taking time to go find my happiness that others want to rob

[nelliesnature]

LISTEN

Tell me where does the wind blow

Tell me I thought that you’d know

You say you have nothing to give now

But I don’t recall asking for a handout

As the days went on you grew bitter

Yet you say your glad I’m doing better

Now you mope around waiting to be found

Wanting me as your keeper

Oh No Darling

I can’t be that for you either

I’m Your Equal

Tell me why am I your only friend now

Tell me when did your smile turn to this bitter frown

You can't give an answer

What a pity that you can't understand her

And you talk and you talk

You warn me about every man

Then you talk and talk

preaching your meaning of the hymn

And I sit and I listen

NO

you won't let me do any different

So what's a woman to do

In order to pull out the truth.

[nelliesnature]

Eager

I can be the calm before the storm

Watch as the rain pours down on me 

Like a precious flower 

The wind moves and shakes me

But I wont move a damn inch 

Oh I wont move a damn inch

unless you tell me

I could try to keep you satisfied 

Make you happy and grow oh so high 

But how long till the storm sets

And my stem grows weak 

and my petals fly by

Holding on is not as easy as you think

Yet I wont move a damn inch 

Oh I wont move a damn inch

Unless you tell me

When you decide you've done enough 

and you have tired out 

With a smile on my face

I'll keep my ground 

As I watch you go, go, go...

Leaving me to lift myself up

I just might fall back down

Then I'll dust off the dirt

And hope for some worth

I'll wait for that next storm. 

[nelliesnature]

Thursday Night

What is this im feeling...anger?

More of an empty rage

Meaning nothing to you and more importantly to me

I endure instead of discuss

I grovel instead of explain

Letting my emotions hit the page before it hits my head

I do not understand why I feel this way

Yet I feel it with such intensity I must understand it

...

Am I just a joke to them all?

I feel like one to myself.

I’d like to be taken seriously in what I say or do.

I’d like to take on responsibility for what I need done.

Yet

The people around me make me feel I cannot flourish

Obviously I let them

Stupidly I let myself

[nelliesnature]

Yellow Magic

Happiness. A feeling that comes and goes. It gives a warmth or a jolt. And with it, a smile unfolds. A nibble at my nail wondering, How much love that life has given me. Along with the temptations of anger and sadness, I chose to prevail. For I am a force to be reckoned with. too powerful for the hatred of words and too smart for setbacks. I am coming into who I will be. So when I really focus, the day just seems to flow with ease. Maybe the joke is, Temptation can follow Though it must know It will tire soon, For I am beginning to grow. Well, I see my path, Even the bad and ugly. Although I may not understand the journey, I know It is one that I've grown for hungry. So I am more than ready for the climb, the chaos, and confusion.

[nelliesnature]

Know Any Better

I was 18 when I realized… I didn't have the emotional support that I needed from my dad. I felt I had to defend myself, to prove I'm not always a forgetful person. I'll be distracted by hundreds of things at one time, have my mind all over the place. It doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about. ... Maybe I am too much to others. But more so, myself. I have begun to overthink the thought I wish to feel… “But don't beat yourself up, You don't know any better.”

[nelliesnature]

Wrapped up in Red

Splattered onto the carpet, nothing but red.  Outside a pitter patter of white piling up. I am within nature's darkened warmth with heat that kept its promise. Make no mistake it was gravity that took over, the red had spread down onto the hardened brown. I gather my hands close to my face, trembling from the raging storm building up in me. Nothing but blurs of the heat, hardened, and helpless. Toes curling, feet dragging. Pulling my weight in guilt, I reach for the keys, one last view, focus.

[nelliesnature]

I can't apologize for your creation

This is mine to have You said I am worthless at my best I wasn't strong enough to laugh Instead, you did and I cried at rest I pushed through besides all odds thrown The fear of losing to you, I could barely breathe So let me show you just how much I have grown Your ideas and thoughts belonged underneath Thrown in along with my weakness it is chained to the darkest pit Take your time to recover from my revenge It is one that I’m passionately proud to admit The old me would have found defying you to be something not to challenge Now all I see when I look at you is the weakness you pulled out from me Do you like the way this makes you feel or do you wish for my wish to be set free?