I hope you understand the sheer amount of pain I endure on a daily basis. Corn haunts my dreams every single night. I often jolt up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, screaming the untold horrors of corn for all to hear. When I wake up for real, I find corn at my bedside. He purrs at me. I get out of bed, and put on my corn slippers as I hobble into the kitchen. I pour cereal into my bowl [before the milk], but every single time, all that comes out is corn kernels. I chew on them in resignation, like a cow grazing grass knowing it will be made into burgers. Scrumptious.