#neoshamanism

[cagedsanity]

Marjorie Cameron doing Tai-Chi with a sword in her back yard.

Toward the end of her life, Cameron started focusing mainly on her family, particularly her grandchildren, and close friends. Her spirituality continued, taking part in group Tai-chi classes and becoming interested in neo-shamanistic practices; yet she always considered herself a devoted practitioner of Thelema.

[hlgglh]

SKF - KEBABGRIL (excerpt) #gubbwave #glitch #hlg #skf

[hlgglh]

I drawl sometimes I drawl sometimes I scan the drawl and keep the drawl and manipulate the drawl and forget or repost the drawl. Ink on pay-purr. Also pixels on screen, reflexion of light, Fiat lux, on retina and so on and so off. bl1p bl0p. Digital Dreamweaver of Dirty Rituals. Protector of Thresholdery. Liminally speaking, in text. As always: at least better than war?!?

[hlgglh]

Year of the GL!7CH. All my bits are 1n formati0n. Logically structured holy Loophole. #SpliffPersonality

[throbandgristle]

“& the show goes on “

[mbvvacationbibleschool]

Digital Drugs for Digital Times

Why do we do this? I think the connotation of getting loaded especially on hallucinogens, when it becomes entrenched as a part of the identity - fully assimilated and sought after as familiar or ritual territory - seemingly requires users to advocate for themselves in regards to their usage. In order to balance out the overall discourse of "drugs are bad," and the linguistic poverty of using a catch-all word like "drugs," do I have to romanticize or proselytize about my relationship to the hallucinogenic experience and the virtues it purveys? Many small L liberal thinkers find it repugnant to admit that some things are distinct or better than others - that ranking or discrete categories are illusory or signal low moral intelligence. Despite all this, we psychedelic heads are not like other girls. We aren't like stodgy religious folks, or like the deluded masses, and certainly not like the junkies who use opioids, alcohol, stimulants.

It seems that different classes of drugs seem to have opinions of their own and that they bring the people who use them to certain conclusions - be it in their ideological perspectives or lifestyle. Stereotypes.

I'm allergic to stereotypes. I cannot stand noticing that I'm being cliché and I hate realizing I am stereotyping others. It seems inescapable. I've opted to try and seek closure with fitting into certain molds while trying to portray the good side of the communities I represent- I think that's all you can do. I don't even think I do a good job. If I'm so enlightened, why do I have such meager socioeconomic achievements? Why do I still have difficulties in my interpersonal relationships? Why can't I overcome my flaws? If the fruits of this practice were so objective, surely I would have physical evidence.

When the famous western LSD Guru Ram Dass ran into an old friend, the guy said to him "you haven't changed a bit."

Wherever you are, there you go. Nothing I know changes me. If anything, trying too hard to overcome your instincts can make a person seem like a self-righteous asshole. Why do I bother to dedicate so much ink, paper, and long white-knuckled evenings on the spiritual usage of psychedelics?

The hallucinogens in particular to me highlight what is important with glittering gold and allow me to stop ignoring patterns as pattern recognition and abstract or synesthetic feeling starts being enhanced- that black implies white, up implies down, etc... They allow me to perceive connections in my mind, literally. The hallucinogenic experience often portrays different mental constructs or beliefs as visual objects that are also perceived synesthetically in their entire emotional complexity. A higher dimensional object, or at least the raw qualia of it.

The sensation of the "groundlessness of being" as talked about in Buddhist circles- often shows up. It can feel like there is no distinction between self and other, that all objects are made of the same substance (consciousness). The challenge is figuring out if this feeling is true to the external environment - as the universe is of one conscious essence of which we are a part- or if this is an illusion crafted by realizing that everything a mind experiences is mind.

1- I seem to be a thing that thinks.

2- The things I think are all that I can experience

3- Therefore - am I part of everything, or is this an illusion created by reaching the end of my own neurons?

Either way, there is empirical evidence that we cannot access the world as it really is. Many people with deep psychedelic experiences feel that what they see is more true than the sober perspective.

The feeling of unity, combined with experiencing the flow of infinite time and space evokes my archetype of divinity. I am a cell in a body, I am moss on a surface of a much larger being. Feeling to be part of the fabric of the universe itself or God makes a very convincing argument that one ought to be like the god they see inside themselves during the trip as a fact in the world, as a fact to act upon. That is to say, it argues for our divinity as an entire universe contained within ourselves- and the universe that contains us as well- are micro and macrocosmic structures of the same fabric. We are gods. At the very least- we are partially responsible for creating the world we live in within ourselves, and that collectively, we create the world without.

The world presented during the trip is perfectly reflecting one's tenuous mental state- a person can feel ecstacy and horror, anxiety, despair, confusion, or emotion with indescribable complexity and specificity. This teaches a person that they are always - loaded or not- to some extent existing entirely within a construct of a mind, that emotion and connotation are a gloss applied to color and inform perception, and that many concepts are portrayed by the brain AS sensation. This is spelled out experientially by the drug.

Hopefully all of this deep inner work can yield insight and growth in consensus reality. Sometimes it does, sometimes we are spinning our tires. Can I trust that I've experienced it enough times to integrate the "revealed truth?" Can anything be done about feeling that the entire world will view me as delusional or criminal? I'm forced to care when other people find my practice repugnant.

By wrestling with this, most would take it as a sign that I'm "coming to my senses" and that all of this psychedelic dabbling was demonic or bullshit after all. I just want to dig in my heels instead. I have staked my life on a belief. I'd give anything for it to be true.

I think sometimes I want to be applauded for my spiritual and intellectual achievements in a way that I can point it to LSD without somebody applying all these negative labels to the claim I'm making. I wish that my "enlightenment" was a binary condition that somehow caused a cascade of ending history and suffering, or that I could make people see what I do, to see what LSD is for themselves. I don't want to take all the credit. I want it to go to the cause. I really believe that this stuff has the answer.

Now I understand these Christians. This experience is available to anyone who is willing to accept the grace of God by taking the tabs and submitting themselves to an experience. The problem is that life goes on after the conversion, and it becomes mundane once again. Closure is an emotion. Deconstructive philosophy dissolves. I'm left with nothing but a memory of feeling like I knew the answer. If I want to feel that way again, I have to take LSD again. Bruh.

[sspacegodd]

My spirit animal is paint thinner.

[urlasage]

.           .       . t r u t h         and authenticity            .     .  .                                         .

are the true healers