Quidnunc
One who always has to know what is going on.
“Why are they doing that?” the android asked over Na’s shoulder. She swiped away at the screen she’d had projecting in front of her, shifting her focus from the datastream she was monitoring to the ruckus going on in the mess – Nila and Katya, standing on opposite sides of the dining table, each with an arrangement of half-full cups in front of them.
One threw the ball, bouncing it across the table until it landed in a cup on the other side, and the captain behind them cheered. Ah, she thought, leaning back in her seat with half a smile. Some things never changed, no matter where you were in the galaxy, and drinking games were one of them.
“Well,” she started, a slow and measured reply, trying to figure out how to phrase the human ritual of getting wasted in a way her new android friend would be able to comprehend. Nero was close enough to human that it was almost easy to forget that they still struggled with simple things sometimes; it was hard to imagine anyone who would ask for a glass of wine after dinner just to fit in with the crew wouldn’t understand the appeal of a drinking game, but you never knew with them. “Best guess? To get drunk.”
Nero was quiet for a second, and Na could practically hear the processors whir gently in their head. Taking in information, turning it into something usable, such an elegant near-perfect recreation of human thought.
“And why do they throw balls around instead of just drinking? Would it not be more efficient to keep drinking? Alcohol takes effect more quickly if consumed rapidly, so taking breaks to throw a ball would–”
Na laughed; she couldn’t help it. Not at Nero, no– because Nero was exactly right. Logically it wasn’t the best way to get drunk. But it was the most fun.
“Is my assumption incorrect? Have I misunderstood the object of the activity, somehow, or perhaps there is an aspect of adrenaline making the alcohol take effect more quickly?”
“Just enjoy it, Nero,” she answered, gently, patting the seat on the bench next to her for them to take a seat. “Here: think of it as…. a sociological study. A sociological study of human stupidity. Watch and learn.”













