#ness angst

[anonymousfreakyperson]

missed calls and missed funerals

alexis ness x reader

tw: angsty-ist thing i think ive made, suicide, major character death, funeral, depression, self harm, ness is kinda toxic and ignores the signs

im getting tortured by life so yall will get tortured by ts.

🌸- + - 🌸 - + - 🌸 - + - 🌸 - + - 🎀x🎀 - + - 🌸 - + - 🌸 - + - 🌸 - + -🌸

Ness said it wasnt going to be forever that he was gone. just 'a few months' for some soccer league in japan.

Ness said it would be all ok, and worth it.

you said you didn't think it was a good idea.

Ness said he would get a bunch of money and training from it.

you said that money didn't matter, and the having him there was more important. you told him that he was one of the few things holding you accountable for taking care of yourself.

Ness said the extra training would do him well. that being away from social media would help him focus more on soccer.

you said you were scared. scared of being alone by yourself.

Ness said that you should just 'calm down' and stay in Germany and wait for him, and that it was dumb to want to stay in a hotel in japan when he wouldnt even be able to see you.

Ness said he'd call every night when he was allowed to use his modified phone, one without any apps other than call and text. he would text every morning, and send you updates.

Ness said he wasn't leaving you forever. Ness didn't know you would leave him forever.

Ness tried to call every night and text you occasionally. Ness said he was more busy than he thought. you tried to text him and call him first to hopefully stay more in contact with him. you did.

you said things were getting worse again. you told ness that you really needed to talk to him, to call, to text, even if he couldn't stay long. you said you were scared.

Ness said it would be okay. you didn't need him that bad, you were just over exaggerating. Ness said you had other people you could talk to. Ness knew you didn't.

you said you were losing motivation for everything. your job, eating, taking care of yourself.

Ness said that it wasnt healthy. Ness told you to just do it, and that it wasnt that hard to take care of yourself.

you said you couldn't take it anymore. the stress, the loneliness, him leaving, everything falling apart. you said you needed help. you said you needed him back, to hear his voice and see his face again.

Ness said it would be okay, and that he would be back soon. Ness said he would always be there for you, even if not physically.

you said you'd always be in his heart, no matter what happened.

Ness said he would always be there for you, but he was the one who didn't know what happened.

Ness said he'd check up on you, but was the one who did blink an eye when it had suddenly been days since your last message.

Ness, who only found out he'd missed his last call from you when he finally decided to check his phone, seeing a call at about 9am from a few days ago.

Ness, who a few weeks later was confused by the PR outrage when he finally left blue lock. he hadnt done or said anything to crazy that the bluelock tv had caught, so what happened?

Ness, who was told by his manager the day after that he'd missed your funeral.

Ness, who never turned off his notifications again. Ness, who always called back when he missed a call though he tried to never miss a call again. Ness, who poured all the money he made from the NEL into a fund with your beautiful name on it.

Ness, who quit soccer shortly after the magic disappeared from his life. after you disappeared from his life.

🌸- + - 🌸 - + - 🌸 - + - 🌸 - + - 🎀x🎀 - + - 🌸 - + - 🌸 - + - 🌸 - + -🌸

the voices say: eat up the angst, freaklings. there will be more regular freaky content later, dont worry.

the voices also say: i love making others cry with my writing when i feel terrible lol

[neeeooon]

Can I request a fic for Alexis Ness where he has a childhood friend who had to leave and they meet years later and he finds out it wasn't because of her parents that she had to leave but turns out she actually had magic powers. She decides to make up for the years they were apart by showing him every spell he wanted to see as a child.

ty for the req(s) 🤍✨

water, salt, and a candle

childhood best friend alexis ness x fem!reader who knows magic. fantasy, angst, and slight fluff if you squint! wc: 1k

magic wasn’t real. ness finally believed that after years of his parents and siblings drilling it into his head. everything was because of science, and as he stared down at the university acceptance letter in his hand, he wondered if science was enough.

when you left, you took all the magic with you. though he’d only been a child when you moved away, ness felt calmer with you around. happier.

your parents always praised your active imagination—your unbreakable belief in worlds past the human eye. ness was scolded when asked if the tooth fairy would come and leave him money and candy like she had when you lost your first tooth. he woke up with dental floss on his bedside table and instructions from his mother on how to prevent cavities.

the day you left ruined him. not only did you take the magic with you, but you took ness’s imagination. his reason to smile. he was barely nine years old. now, at nineteen, he's supposed to be sent off to the university of his parents' choosing with nothing but a mind full of reality.

ness was packing his room, which had long been deprived of anything magical, and stopped when he heard a knock on his door. he hummed without turning at the sound of his mother's heels against the hardwood floors. "you have a friend here to visit. they're sitting on the swing out front." ness glanced at her in time to watch her disappear into the hallway. he didn't have any friends. not since you left.

tugging a large knit sweater over his head to combat the autumn chill, ness stepped outside and froze. he felt every scrap of air leave his lungs as he took a stumbling step away from you, his back hitting the doorway with a soft thud. his mouth formed the shape of your name, but nothing came out as he stared at you, eyes wide and searching.

you were on your feet before he was able to find his words, and ness felt his ears burn when a gentle smile worked its way across your lips. "hi, lex."

lex. you couldn't be real.

you've aged since ness last saw you, and he was surprised that he'd surpassed you in height. he was always looking up at you as a child, but now your head is slightly tipped to meet his eyes. "it's been a long time."

ness couldn't help but feel a bit awkward in your presence. it'd been so long since he'd last seen you, and it's clear he wasn't the same ness you left behind. you didn't waste any time before reaching a hand out into the empty space between you. "let's go for a walk. there's a lot i want to tell you." ness knew he should turn you away and return to his packing, but. you stepped forward to connect your hands and practically dragged him off the porch and into the street.

when you were children, you found a large, abandoned oak tree and made it your hideout. you'd climb the branches and pretend to cast spells while ness laughed and laughed. you didn't like how hollow his magenta eyes looked now.

it didn't take long to reach the tree, and you immediately climbed the lowest branches while ness stood behind and fiddled with a string on his sweater. "ness," you called down, gesturing for him to follow. when he didn't, you jumped back into the dirt and leaned against the bark. "how have you been?"

the question drew a surprised scoff from him. "how have i..? where have you been? you gave no warning before leaving me completely alone, and now you return like things haven't changed? i'm different now, y/n. i'm not that stupid kid who believed in magic and fairytales anymore."

"i didn't—"

"you could have called. emailed. written a letter. something to let me know you still cared. that you were okay."

"ness," you began softly, stepping forward to cup his hand between yours. "please. let me explain." you told him how your parents woke you in the middle of the night, hurriedly tossing your essentials into a suitcase before shoving it into your hands. they told you you had to go, but that you'd be okay and they'd see you soon. you remember your mother kissing your forehead, and when you woke, you were somewhere else. somewhere with magic.

you watched ness's eyes fill with skepticism that didn't fade, even after finishing your story. he shook his head and stepped out of your grasp. "i don't believe you."

you’d wished he had, but you prepared for the worst. nodding, you slowly reached into your bag and retrieved three things: a glass bottle of water, a small container of salt, and a slightly used wax candle. you ignored ness as you sat on the ground and opened the salt container, drawing a small circle in the dirt after clearing a flat space.

placing the water in the center, you lit the candle with a blink and held it in your hands as ness dropped across from you. “how did you..?”

“this was your favorite as a kid, remember? the spell you always wished you knew.” you watched the color drain from ness’s face. “i—”

“focus on what you lost, ness,” you soothed, keeping your eyes locked on his. ness’s body thrummed with adrenaline and something he hadn’t felt since you left: wonder. he gripped onto that feeling, holding it close to his chest as he remembered what it was like to feel love and happiness and hope for more.

your gasp forced ness to open his eyes, and when he did, he saw the flame of the candle angled away from him and toward you. he didn’t feel any breeze against his exposed skin, nor did the leaves bristle.

“a spell to find what was once lost,” ness breathed, and your eyes glistened when you met his once again. “what did you lose, ness?”

“my happiness.”

the idea sounded better in my head lol 🪄