Stan is given a new totally not cursed mansion! As soon as he steps into the property he can't leave
Stan figures it's a scam right away, just trying to figure out what kind and if he can steal as much as possible before dipping. Drives to the mansion, knocks on the door, and!
Hmm. Give me a moment, thinking mansion logistics.
Alright, I'm thinking this cursed mansions not sentient, but it is cursed in that whoever owns it can't leave and it's got a ghost staff. Some crazy past owner got offed by their spouse and cursed them so they couldn't run off with their fortune. The then cursed spouse cursed their staff in turn with a even worse curse, and now they're stuck working there forever. Stan getting the deed was the previous owners bid for freedom, and they very eagerly dumped full ownership onto Stan before booking it. Stan was chosen completely randomly, just so happened to stea- receive! The letter by chance, and didn't think anything of it until he shoved a bunch of valuables in his car and then almost became a splatter before one of the ghost staff runs out in front of him. There's nothing worse for a cursed mansion than having no owner, as then they don't have anyone to order them around and their curse makes them serve after death so not serving is torture.
And it's fine for a while! Stan's got a place to live and some nice sorta friends in the staff who mostly ignore him but its fine!
Except he also hates it. Can't sell off his technically legal belongings and if any of his enemies find him he's toast. He's never been in one place for so long, and the anxiety's killing him.
Plus all the food is from the garden, he's living life full vegetarian and is suffering.
Then Fords post card comes, and it's even worse. He has no one to push this mansion onto, his brother needs him, and it's so old there's no phone so the best he can do is write back about how he can't leave where he's at, is there any way Ford can come to him?
Next post cards a little angry, about how Ford needs help, and can't Stan put aside whatever business he needs?
Stan sends back how he'd love to, but he literally can't.
Fords pretty sure he literally can, and it's urgent.
Stan gets that, but he very literally cannot leave, even if he wanted to.
Next card there is no card, just Ford looking awful and very angry Stan's not in some life or death situation like the last letter implied and tired of talking through mail. Doesn't Stan know he's risking reality here? And Stan can't leave his cushy mansion?
Stan glares as Ford rants, grabs his hand, and drags him to the edge of the property, where he then leans on the invisible wall that won't let him out. Fords rant stutters and stops, and then he stares as his last hope to take his journal away is more homebound than he is.
Cue shenanigans as Ford tries to undo the curse, and Stan helps him right until Ford let's it slip he wanted Stan to take the book and take it far away. Then Stan's being less than helpful, crossing his arms and leaning back in an armchair, ordering his ghost staff to rearrange the books as Ford reads them and to ignore Ford completely. Why should Stan help out huh? Life's not too bad here, and at least these guys appreciate him right!
Ghost: only if you order us to sir
Stan: good enough for me!
When Ford passes out and Bills roaming the halls, Stan doesn't even notice because he's barely paying attention to Bills griping and ordering the staff to make it as hard as possible for Ford to do anything, so all the doors are locked and he's getting the wrong directions constantly. Just screams and Stan, three floors up in front of a fire place wearing a robe and fuzzy slippers just chuckles.
Then he has to order the staff to tie Ford up because he's hurting himself. And doing drugs apparently, yesh. Ford gets sleep in a comfy bed then does it all over the next day.
Eventually team work is established when Ford realizes he also can't leave because twin logic mansion thinks they're the same person, ghosts are just smart enough to notice the difference.
