I haven’t used this account in 8 years.
Here’s a quick overview of what has happened:
I went to college as a biology student in an accelerated program that goes straight to med school. In retrospect, biology as a major is NOT a real premed course. It deals with botany and zoology more than human medicine. Bad choice for premed imho. It’s hard. Some subjects I think are even harder than the ones in med school. Not all my friends could make the cutoffs. Ngl it’s hell but it’s hella rewarding to make it through.
I went to med school. Each year is a different kind of difficult.
1st year is the “adjustment phase” kind of difficult. If you were already trained in courses prior, I don’t think you’re gonna have a problem adjusting. I sailed through the first year pretty okay, adjusting wasn’t too difficult.
Second year was shifted into “heavy load phase” kind of difficulty. Thats where heavier forms of memorization and keen understanding between what was normal and abnormal. That’s the year that most student fail to pass.
Third year is “heavy load + paperwork”, it’s relatively easier and harder at the same time. It feels more time consuming in all honesty and I missed most classes to to all the paperwork we were required to submit. It’s also the last year we could take part of intra level competitions involving theatre productions, pageants, bands, and sports. It was the late end of the school year that lockdown hit. We were all somewhat exempted from all the rest of our exams due to the need for lax measures in the sudden shift into online learning.
Fourth year, supposedly, was our “hospital duties phase”, but COVID was a thing so we could only get an online version of it. It all happened so fast and there’s nothing memorable about being an online student…except for the obvious impostor syndrome and general dread and loneliness of the times.
My love life has bloomed. My boyfriend of 4 years and I having going through life together with struggles kind of like a long distance/lockdown relationship through the most of it I think. We don’t live together. We call every other day and spending time watching netflix party things or mobile legends.
Internship year, post graduate hospital duties. I was so sick of my own incompetence in all honesty that I needed a way out of the perpetual lockdown, pullout from the hospital, and this insufferable government. I chose to move away from the areas with the most COVID positive cases. I monitored the more strictly protected areas with public hospital trainings. I ended up matching with a regional hospital in my province. It was great. I loved it there. I’m considering residency there too.
We had to undergo our licensure exam after that. I’ll be honest, I didn’t study very hard after internship. I was trying to go on a diet this time, too (unlike most people handling the exam). I cannot study at night because my brain probably can’t get through it with an empty stomach. So I was going through intermittent fasting. I wake up for brunch, study with snacks and drinks and eat an early dinner of 4pm. The thing about this is that it gave me a daily deadline of 6pm as a motivation. Everything I have to go through for the day has to be done by 6pm, no exceptions. The limitation kind of felt healthy for me. I was very calm and relaxed all throughout. If I can’t study the material, I read my bible and contemplate and pray. The last 2 weeks I had were spent were probably the most relaxed I’ve been. Our pre exam evaluations gave me the most anxiety because they determined that I was at the low 20% of all exam takers. I was crying while taking the actual licensure exams. TL;DR - I passed despite all the odds against me. I am now an unregistered licensed physician.
I’ve been trying to figure out what I want and where I want to go from here. Residency? Maybe. Right now, I want money. I have been a total freeloader until now and it doesn’t sit right with me. I want income. I want a job.
