late night ramblins to the void, my first true lov 🖤🌌🌀
i always love to wind down with quantum physics/astronomy micro/macro universe type youtube docs to fall asleep, for some reason i need heavy existentialism to feel grounded despite being terrible with math.
ramble 1; stories that have gods/timeless dieties trynna wipe out light/life/existence will always feel dumb after just surface level understanding entropy lol what you doin, youre timeless & u gotta know thats already happening, be patient bitch u live in eternities; we're barely a blink. from eternitys standpoint we're anything from an annoying fly passing through the room to an intriguing background phenomena of a soap opera of physics; main characters: black holes who preform on an incredible timescale.
i think anything that would have the scale of observation to notice humans at our time experience would be consumed by madness thats genuinely unfathomable. unless theyre scaled out of our time continuum, maybe the way everything seems fractal, there could be some unfathomable being up there and our particular 'lives' might be their version of a special interest. i think the most relatable thought experiment of knowing god for me yet might be to think we're just the right special interest corner of something that might decide it loves us upon discovery. i think we're a wild, unplanned horrific miracle. sure you can probably live fulfilled without wanting, trying or needing to understand and i dont believe i ever truly will, but i think the active pursuit is so intrinsic to being alive i cant imagine any other way. i hope i am learning and questioning to my dying breath, use the gift of understanding to its fullest.