Jan 18, 2019
*whispers*
Nice.
seen from Czechia
seen from Bulgaria
seen from Canada
seen from Bulgaria
seen from China
seen from China
seen from Bulgaria
seen from Bulgaria
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Bulgaria
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from Brazil
seen from Vietnam
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Australia
*whispers*
Nice.
o i just realized armando matches my clan icon / progen’s color scheme now too
93&100
holy shit, i actually did them this time! are you proud of me? (i still have an ask from you from like 1983 with some prompts that i put into my google docs and then never filled lmao they haunt me)
anyway, here you go - dear evan hansen-style because 1) i felt like it and 2) i need to write them more
also featuring a made-up band teacher named Ms. Anna and a made-up band student named Delilah (delilah is pretty. shes zoe’s first girl crush ok)
#93: “I’m telling you. I’m haunted.”
Zoe’s ringtone goes off between songs, and Ms. Anna, the band teacher, gives her a tired look.
“I’m — I’m so sorry, Ms. Anna,” she says, reddening. “Can I just — I’ll —” She glances at the caller ID. Asshole. So it’s Connor.
“Yes, alright, answer it,” Ms. Anna says, gesturing towards the door to indicate that Zoe should leave, which frankly Zoe is fine with. No one needs to hear any conversation she holds with her brother, if only for the x-rated language.
She hits accept call as she closes the door behind her.
“Connor, you just interrupted my band practice, this better be really fucking important,” she says by way of greeting.
“Zoe, thank god, you need to come get me.”
“You’re at home, genius,” Zoe says, rolling her eyes.
“Exactly. So come fucking get me.”
“Why the fuck would I come get you from our house?”
“Because there’s a ghost here.”
Zoe pauses. “There’s not a ghost at our house, Connor. Are you high?”
“I’m not!” Connor insists. There’s a silence on the line. “Well, I am. But there’s still a ghost here.”
Zoe rolls her eyes again. “I’m hanging up now, Connor. I’m in the middle of band and Ms. Anna just let me leave to take this because she thought it was important.”
“No, don’t leave me! Fucking — the ghost can tell I’m on the phone. If it kills me now, there’ll be a witness. Just. Don’t hang up.”
“Jesus Christ, Connor, what have you been smoking?”
“Listen, I’m not making this up, okay? It’s been following me around the house since you left for your band practice. I’m — it — it fucking knocked over that ugly ass vase that Aunt Ursula gave us like four years ago that mom won’t fucking get rid of.”
Zoe sighs. “Connor, if you knocked over the vase and you blame it on a ghost, I am seriously disowning you.”
“I’m serious!” Connor snaps through the receiver. Someone taps Zoe’s shoulder and she whirls around defensively. It’s just Delilah — she plays the drums. She’s really good at it, actually.
“Hey — Ms. Anna is wondering when you’ll be done on the phone,” Delilah says.
“Oh — sorry,” Zoe says, smiling apologetically. “My brother’s on the phone — talking about —” she pauses. “Um, family stuff.”
“Oh,” Delilah says, looking uncertain. “Well, um…”
“Five minutes at most,” Zoe promises.
“No! Don’t go! Come get me!” Connor shouts through the phone. Delilah frowns.
“I’ll — okay,” she says, tilting her head a bit, and then she disappears into the band room again.
“Jesus, Connor,” Zoe hisses. “Would you calm the fuck down? There’s no ghost.”
“It’s trying to curse me for being a bad Christian or something, I swear!” Connor says. “I’m telling you. I’m haunted. Yesterday it made me spill the milk I was putting in my cereal. And then this morning it untied my shoelaces and I tripped over them.”
“No, you don’t tie your shoes properly, so they always come untied,” Zoe corrects flatly. “Connor, I swear to god I’m leaving now. Call Evan or something.”
“Evan doesn’t believe in ghosts.”
“Well neither do I!”
“Well there still is one!”
Zoe grits her teeth and then groans. Evidently the only way to beat ‘em is to join ‘em. “Fine, for fuck’s sake. I’m — oh my god.” She pinches the bridge of her nose. “Just — go into my room and lock the door. Ghosts don’t like girls’ rooms.”
“Yeah, ‘cause they smell,” Connor says distastefully.
Zoe rolls her eyes. “Do you want to escape your ghost?”
“Yes, fine, whatever. I’m in your room. I’m not leaving until you get home.”
“Good, do that. Okay, I’m hanging up now. Goodbye.”
She hits the red end call button with finality and then sighs deeply.
Connor really needs to stop getting high.
#100: “You can only suffer through my whining for so long until you get up and make me a sandwich.”
“Hey,” Jared says, for the eighth time. Evan elects not to respond.
“Hey,” he says again, when there’s no reaction. “Evannnnn.”
“Jared, I’m reading.”
“I’m hungry, though.”
“You already said that. Eight times. In as many minutes.”“There’s no need to be an asshole about it,” Jared says brightly. “Make me a sandwich or something. I could really go for a sandwich.”
“I’m not making you food, Jared.”
“I’ll even say please. Please?” Jared puts on his best fake-sincerity face. “I don’t want to disturb the peace by getting up. Think of all the ghosts that are probably sitting on me right now.”
Evan rolls his eyes and turns the page. He hesitates, and then turns back, because with Jared talking at him, he hadn’t picked up on any of the last paragraph.
“Come on, Evan,” Jared says. “I’d poke you if you weren’t across the room.”
Evan thanks god that he’s across the room. “Why can’t you just make your own food? Being roommates doesn’t mean I’m your servant.”
“No, but your will is easier to snap, you’re better at making food, and I don’t know where we keep our bread,” Jared says agreeably.
Evan doesn’t answer this.
“Evan. Evan. Evan. Evan. Evan. Evan, come on, please? I’m starving! I haven’t eaten since breakfast.”
“You had three cookies like an hour ago,” Evan says flatly, finally turning the page. He’s pretty sure someone just kissed in the book, but Jared’s complaining is muddling the story. “Would you be quiet? I’m reading.”
“Evan Evan Evan I’m gonna keep saying your name ‘til you break Evan Evan Evan Evan Evan Evan —”
Evan closes his eyes and leans his head back. “Shut up, Jared.”
“You can only suffer through my whining for so long until you get up and make me a sandwich,” Jared says. “Please? Please please please please please please?”
Evan finally lets out a huge sigh and stands up, tucking his book under his arm.
“Yes!” Jared cheers. “Told you.”
“I’m not making you food,” Evan tells him, narrowing his eyes. “I’m going to my room. The bread is in the cabinet next to the fridge.”
As Evan walks away, feeling more than a little bit proud of himself for his bout of savagery, Jared calls out, “That’s a dick move, Evan! You’re already up! You may as well!”
Evan shakes his head, closing his bedroom door. Sometimes tough love is the only way people learn.
god STEM wife when
hey. hey rids. i love and support u jsyk
hey. hey tess. i would CRUSH 7 watermelons with my bare eyelashes for u bc i love u jsyk
got a new sketchbook. i am unstoppable
see the trick to writing an essay on vikings is to just channel ur gayness for all the goddesses and valkyries and spit out like two pages on how cool they are in an hour