Shout-out to @atlaslaboratories for inspiring this through their most recent ask yesterday 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
*Gamzee, Tavros, John and Vriska are all sitting at the kitchen table together over some drinks at the Makara residence*
Vriska:*sipping on her wine* So yeah, long story short, my client's boss lost a fucking shitload of money once I was done with him. Not only that, but I heard by next week, a new boss should be taking over the company soon..... Heh, bastard should have thought twice before refusing to pay any worker's comp to him after his accident at the construction site.
Tavros;*lets out a slightly nervous laugh* Goes to show, if someone has you as their lawyer, whoever they're going against is screwed big time......
Gamzee;*laughs, taking a sip of his own drink. Instead of Faygo, he's having kale, which makes him wince every time he takes a sip, but he's trying to take better care of his health now that he's in his 30s* Damn right..... Don't mess with Spider Bitch, yo.
Vriska:*grins confidently, sipping her wine again* Damn right. So, :::;) What's going on with you two? How's your latest book going, Tavros?
*Just then, an angry looking Nick pulls a very calm but confused Pupa by the arm towards the adults at the table, Anne following behind with a smirk on her face*
Nick;*points to Pupa* Mom! Dad! Pupa called me the B-word!
Pupa:*with genuine confusion and concern in his voice* 0^0 Motherfucker doesn't start with B.......
*Tavros has a look of stress in his eyes upon hearing his 7 year old son once again use that word, whereas Gamzee is just frozen up like "Oh shit". On the other hand, John has a look of concern in his eyes, while Vriska is trying her hardest not to laugh*
Tavros:........ Pupa...... How many times have I told you not to say that word?
Pupa: But daddy says it all the motherfucking time! Why can't i??
Vriska:*covering her mouth, trying her best to hold in her laughter* Yeah, Tavros...... B) Whats so wrong with Pupa swearing when his daddy can't go one sentence without doing so?
Tavros: I keep telling him-- Gamzee! You too! It was one thing when we were kids, but we have a kid of our own now! I told you to cool it with the swears, especially around Pupa! How are we supposed to help Pupa understand there are things he can't say otherwise??
Gamzee:........ In my mothafucking defense--
Tavros: GAMZEE!....... Remember last week? When that thunderstorm was happening, and Pupa ran into our room and got in bed with us? You and him sang the Thunder Buddies song together!
John:......... What? The one from Ted?
Pupa: FUCK YOU, THUNDER! 8D YOU CAN SUCK MY--
Tavros: Pupa Makara! Don't you dare finish that line........
Pupa: 0^0 But daddy says it all the time......
Tavros;.............*sighs in exhaustion, burying his face in his hands*
Gamzee:....... We'll talk about it later, okay little man? Pupa, apologize to Nick.
Pupa:........ Sorry, Nicky.
John: And..... Nick? Go easy on Pupa, okay? He's younger than you, there are some things he still needs to learn.
John: There ^v^ Now, why don't you kids go back to playing, okay?
*Nick, Anne and Pupa immediately run off and go back to playing together*
John: And Anne! No wrestling, okay?? I don't want you or anyone else getting hurt!
Vriska: And stay off the damn shed!
John:........ Vriska.......
Vriska:*waits until the kids have gone back outside to play in the fenced-in backyard, laughing as she looks to Tavros* I'm telling you, Tavros..... It wasn't just some bullshit superstition from one of Rosali's witch books. The day you and Gamzee learned Pupa was gonna be a c-section Grub, that was an omen that he was gonna be a bigger handful compared to the other kids xD Add on to that the fact his wings came in out of nowhere that night Jade babysat him.
Tavros:.............. What am I gonna do with him? He's gotten in trouble with his 1st grade teacher for swearing i don't even know how many times........
Gamzee:............. Look, Tav...... is it really such a bad thing? Swearing wasn't a big deal on Alternia, I don't really get why that changed when we got to this planet......
Tavros:.......... Weird changes happen when Alternian and Earth culture collides...... its something we have to adapt to, especially for our child's sake.......
John:....... You know, Gamzee...... Rose has been specializing in all sorts of therapy, including speech therapy. She could probably help you and Pupa work on your swearing.
Gamzee:........ You know what? That would actually be really bitching, John, thanks, brother. It might seem off putting to all the members at the church if they notice a change in how I speak, but..... I do need to be a better influence on my son.
Tavros;*glances up at him, a look of admiration in his eyes that his husband wants to try and be better for Pupa*
John: Heh...... I still find it weird you managed to open a church that normalizes saying "motherfuck" so much..... Back on Earth, most churches would have shamed anyone for that.
Vriska: John, you grew up on a very, VERY repressed planet compared to how Alternia was...... Not that Alternia was any better, but, compared to us Trolls, you humans were very repressed.
John:........ Yeah, you're not wrong. It wasn't all bad, though. Still, I guess Earth C is a lot more freer in comparison. Our only worries now are making sure our kids grow up to be stable, good people.
Gamzee: Heh, yeah...... *looks out the sliding back door, where Pupa, Nick and Anne are all playing tag together*........
Gamzee:.......... Back then, when we were kids...... I was so close to following in my ancestor's footsteps....... if not for all you guys.... if not for you especially, Tavros...... and if not for the things we saw back then during the game....... *pauses*...... I don't even want to motherfucking think where I'd be......
Vriska: Probably a minion for Lord English or The Condesce in whatever hellscape they were gonna make after they killed us, probably becoming the next Grand Highblood..... Or you might be dead.
Gamzee: No, thats..... actually pretty accurate...... *pauses*...... I know things are different now, but I don't want Pupa to make the same mistakes I did back then......... I want him to realize from the beginning what's important in life....... I want him to value his friends and family above everything else...... *pauses*....... I don't want to fuck up like my Goat Dad did......
Tavros:........ You won't, Gamzee..... *holds his hand in his own*........ Parenting will involve making mistakes from time to time, but you're not your Lusus, or your ancestor....... It starts with knowing what they did wrong, knowing you want to do right by them..... as long as we keep that goal in mind, everything will be okay..... *small smile* You're already doing great as his dad, Gamzee......
Gamzee:........*smiles a little, watching his son play so happily with Nick and Anne with a bright smile on his face* Yeah...... Seeing as he's actually a happy, normal kid, and not fucked up on sopor slime like I already was at his age? I guess i am.......
Tavros:......... Seriously, though. We need to work on his swearing problem, Gamzee..... I don't want him to get kicked out of school for this.
Gamzee;*laughs a little bit* I got you, babe..... I'll call Rose about that speech therapy thing later tonight.
Tavros: Thank you--....... PUPA, NOT THE PAINT AGAIN!
Gamzee: SHIT! Why the motherfuck do you love eating paint so much?????? *quickly runs out into the backyard with Tavros to stop Pupa from eating paint once again*
John and Vriska:...............
Vriska;*laughs again* I'm telling you, that kid is gonna be a nightmare when our kids all get older xD
John:........... Oh boy.........
