"go on, cry" for kevin + neil
Oh ho boy anon I LOVEEEEE you. This is on mobile so please excuse any mistakes or anything like that. 💕💕💕
“Kevin it’s okay. Just. Let it go.” Neils voice whispered to him in the dark. Their faces close, Neil’s breath fanning over his face. He hated it. Waking up with a snap not knowing where he was until Neil’s hands ran through his hair gently. This was the third nightmare in a matter of days and he was so fucking tired. He just wanted it to stop, he wasn’t in the nest anymore, he was free but he still felt the suffocating feeling of the darkness that the nest was. That’s all it was, was darkness and Kevin was tired of being afraid of it. Neil’s hand cupped his jaw and his breath hitched as Neil’s thumb gently stroked his cheek. “Kevin, it’s okay. Go on. Cry. It’s only me babe, it’s just me.” And with that Kevin broke. Deep shuddering sobs wracked his body as he broke down completely. Neil pressed closer and rearrange them so Kevin’s face was resting against his neck as he cried. He cried for his mom, for all the bad memories and all his broken dreams. He cried because for the first time someone told him it was okay to actually do it. He cried for his lost memories he can’t remember because he blacked out drinking. He cries for all the feelings he pushed aside so he wouldn’t seem weak in front of Riko. Neil’s hand rubbed soothing patterns into his back. Kevin wasn’t used to anyone holding him and letting him finally do this and it made him sob harder into his boyfriends neck. He tried to gasp put an apology. He wasn’t supposed to do this, he was supposed to be strong, he wasn’t supposed to care. “Don’t. Kevin don’t. It’s okay. I’m here. Cry babe. I’ve got you. Kevin I’ve got you” Neil whispered into the dark and Kevin let himself relax and cry for the first time in years without fear. He cried for what felt like hours, until his eyes felt heavy and his heart felt light. “I love you” He rasped out into Neil’s neck, before he let his eyes fall shut, before he let sleep pull him under he heard Neil whisper the words back. He knew this was what it was supposed to feel like to be free and he wouldn’t trade it for anything.
