Night #418 & #419
Yesterday I did nothing so I didn't post. I woke up at 1pm and I stayed up till 5am. Today, I went to play snooker for a bit with some lads and then came home. Emily wanted to talk for a bit tonight so we did, but then she just blanked me without saying bye or goodnight or anything. I know I said it's okay if she doesn't always want to reply but I didn't mean just to blank me whenever she felt like it. I'm probably being too over the top and thinking too much. I'm so fkn stupid. I hate myself. She also told me that she's started talking to a lad while she's been away. I feel fucking stupid. I've waited two weeks to see her. I wait for her name to come up on my phone. I keep it on loud as much as possible so I don't miss a message off her. I don't know why I do it. I have no talents, no hobbies, and I'm not doing anything with my life this summer. I hate my life. I'm spending my days at home, not experiencing anything new or doing much. And other people are out doing things and and experiencing things and enjoying the freedom. I got comfortable with it, and now I'm just breaking down. Goodnight. Again, I hope this post has been alright. They don’t all have to be massive. And hopefully no one that I know will see this. Thanks for reading. If you have any questions, feel free to message me and ask or if you just want to chat, my dm’s are open. I can also answer personal questions if you need someone. I’m no trained professional but I’ve seen a lot and love helping people. Yeah, I copy and paste that everyday; doesn't make it any less true.