When there are communication barriers in your marriage, where either you and your wife are constantly fighting or there is a perpetual cold war between you two, and your home has gone from a peaceful haven to a hostile place where no one is happy, please know THIS is the time for you to rise and LEAD.
You need to take RESPONSIBILITY for the direction your marriage is headed in.
You need to take RESPONSIBILITY for the spiritual health of your family.
You need to take RESPONSIBILITY for the physical, emotional, and mental well-being of your family.
You need to take RESPONSIBILITY for the safety and security of your family.
You need to take RESPONSIBILITY for your own soul and your standing with God, who assigned you with all of these responsibilities and more.
You are the shepherd responsible for your flock. Your wife, as much as you may resent her, is included in that flock.
LISTEN to what she has to say, process what she says, even if it’s bitter, and then demonstrate the qualities of a LEADER.
Don't just talk the talk, walk the walk.
Remember, a true leader is one who COMMANDS respect, not demands it.
You may not want to seek help, but clearly you need it otherwise you wouldn't be in the situation you're in.
And don't think of yourself as better than the Beloved ﷺ who sought advice on all matters, even his marriage.
There are professionals, Muslim and non-Muslim (if you want complete anonymity) who can HELP you find your way.
But as long as you remain stubborn, fixed on the idea that you don't need any help, and you keep running from your problems, your problems will eventually catch up to you and chances are by then you'll have burned so many bridges and opportunities that you'll be left alone to deal with them.
Don't let shaitan get the best of you. You were created with honor and given the leadership role in the family to uphold the standards of excellence taught to us by our Beloved ﷺ.
Don't disappoint him. Don't let your ego win. You're better than that.