So yesterday i made a post about a rite I'm planning on doing for the whole length of October and @onyxandemerald commented asking me to elaborate about it.
In the post we said that I'll use that time to reflect on our feelings about death, accepting death as a part of our life and celebrating it, all the while pretending and feeling like i have died.
Before explanation How I'm going to do it and what steps I'm gonna make, I'll explain Why I'm going to do it.
My grandma passed from lung cancer when i was little, about 11 years old and at that age we didn't really think about death and my feelings about it. For me not much changed that day, there was just one person less in the house. I didn't cry at the funeral, we understood that my mom was upset and we understood why, but i just didn't feel it. We weren't very close to my grandma, even though my mom says that she really loved us, i don't remember her life.
When i got older i thought about death more and more, not in a sad/scared way, but how it affects people and myself. And even though i have my beliefs and my thoughts about death clear now, i still have that piece missing. Mourning and celebrating the dead - i never got to really feel it as i should have. So if i don't remember her life, i at least want to celebrate her in death.
Now, those two paragraphs are the Why of all this. And the How is very connected to my beliefs, i won't explain them in this post, but rest assured that all of the methods and steps are directly connected to them.
First things first I'll be doing a massive meditation session on the 1ts of October. I'll clear my mind and let go of my body, I'll be concentrating on the Eferh layer and on it only.
After that, I'll enchant my jewelry to be glamorous, to hide me from everything and everyone that has a body, to be a fly on the wall.
We'll avoid talking to anybody besides inevitable things like answering a teacher's questions (even though we're pretending to be dead, yet still it's just pretending, it's an exercise, even though we're dead, lets not ruin our life because of it) and we'll not talk unless approached first. I'll dedicate all of my time to wondering and exploration, both emotionally and literally.
I'll also place ambient spells on those around me, to perceive me less.
Now with that I'll also do the opposite to spirits, I'll open myself to communications with them. I'll be working with spirits and strengthening my relationships with them, we're looking forward to working with the elementals like nymphs, sylphs and gnomes. I'll petition them and make spells with them. Also I'll be doing many workings with the crossroads and graveyard dirts.
Even though i intend to work with the spirits, I'm not going to be working with ghosts, I'll be celebrating them, trying to understand them and leaving them offerings. In my belief, those are two different entity types, one never had a body, and the other's body died.
On Samhain I'll release off the tension in my body, I'll be doing a final celebration to the dead. We'll walk through the graveyard and make offerings to those who cannot leave. I'll be doing a divination session there and at home, I'll talk to ghosts and ask them to tell me stories. On Samhain Midnight I'll be doing a ritual cleansing bath, to wash my worries away and to cleanse me of the stagnantcy that we've accumulated. After that I'll do another meditation session as a conclusion.
I've thought about this all for quite a while and however strange it might seem, I'm very excited to do this. I'll be my own death doula. I already know what i want to be done with my body after my death, and i know what encryption on my gravestone will be. And already i know where to start. Overall we think this rite will be very fulfilling for us.
