𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 - 𝐉𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐞
Summary: The five times Jennie almost said she loves you + when she finally does
Jennie x Fem!Reader
Category: Fluff
Important: English is not my first language so, please, forgive me if there are any mistakes
Words: 4.161
Zero
Jennie has always been an independent woman, who knows how to get by on her own and who doesn't necessarily need to have a partner to be happy.
When you started dating, you saw more and more of her beautiful interior, sweet as honey and a smiling girl.
It's hard for Jennie to open up to others, to be intimate. She doesn't show affection that easily, which is ironic since she often overflows with love and care for those she cares about.
After a frustrated relationship, in which she already had to hear many things that weren't true, including that her intense way was often irritating, she had to learn to keep her feelings and plug that well of hers so that it wouldn't overflow again and scare someone else. That is until you arrived, you were patient and determined enough to get her to start talking and expressing herself, and now she doesn't know if you already feel the same way as her or if it's too soon, but every time you show her in small ways how much you care, it's hard for her not to say those three words…
One
You finish checking the meat in the oven and start preparing the mashed potatoes. You know how much your girlfriend loves homemade food, despite the fact that most of the time she wants to order food for delivery claiming that the time you have to spend together she won't leave you cooking.
Her kitchen is spacious and complete, at first you didn't feel good cooking alone in the big space, but now that you're more familiar with it, it's relaxing to be able to cook while listening to music and leaving your thoughts a little aside, focusing only on the task of prepare a meal.
The front door unlocks and you hear the keys lock it again. Footsteps approach the kitchen and you turn to greet your girlfriend.
“Hey, baby. How was today?” you ask a clearly tired Jennie, giving you a brief peck.
“It was exhausting, we're training a lot for the next concerts” you make a move to hug her, but she soon stops you. “I'm sweaty, love. Let me take a shower first, okay?” she gives you another peck and with dragged steps goes upstairs. Not that you mind sweating, she knows that, but you figure dancing and singing all day nonstop to make everything perfect makes the only thing you want when you get home is a nice and long shower.
The oven beeps and you finish preparing the dinner and setting up the table. A few minutes later Jennie appears with a towel over her head and her eyes heavy with sleep, you stifle a chuckle at her cuteness as she practically walks around with her eyes closed in her fluffy pink pajamas.
“Let's eat so you can rest” you put the plate in front of her.
She takes a deep breath and a lazy smile appears on her face. “I really like it when you cook, especially this kind of food”
“I know” you laugh. “This is why you should let me cook more”
You talk about how each other's day went and after your girlfriend's second yawn, you decide that you're going to do the dishes tomorrow and that as soon as you get into bed you'll pass out.
You see her sitting on the end of the bed removing the towel from her head and you think she won't have enough strength to comb her hair. With a styling product in your hands, you stop in front of her and start towel-drying her hair.
You sit behind her and start applying the product by lightly massaging her scalp. At that moment, Jennie feels her body melt against yours and her eyes close in satisfaction, it's in those little moments that she wishes she could live forever.
Brushing and untangling her hair, you feel her calm breathing and limp body and for a moment you think she slept in that position.
When you're done, you place a kiss on her neck. “Ready to sleep?”
“I've been ready for a while” she murmurs and you smile at her short sentences when she’s sleepy.
“Then get under the duvet” you direct her and let her lie down comfortably while you brush your teeth and do your nightly routine.
You lie down on the bed and turn off the lamp, Jennie hugs your torso and you hug her so she can lay her head on your shoulder. Soon you are enveloped by sleep and everything around you becomes distant.
Your girlfriend feels warm inside after a nice dinner, from your fingers combing her hair and from your body fitting hers so well when you go to sleep. She almost said how much she appreciates your gestures, how much she wants more nights like this one, but maybe it wasn't the right time, maybe it was just tiredness taking over. She knows it's not tiredness, she knows that what she feels is real, but she was afraid that you would think that was it.
Two
You finish editing some work documents on your laptop when Jennie walks into the room.
“Hi, how was your meeting, love?” you take the object off your lap and place it on the empty space of the bed.
“Well, nothing new” she places a kiss on your cheek and walks into the bathroom. You realize that maybe the meeting didn't go so well and she needs some time to herself.
The house was silent for the rest of the day, as if no one was inside. You know your girlfriend tends to keep things to herself, but every now and then you make an effort to let her open up when she feels comfortable, not so much that her emotions explode all at once, but enough so that she feels good to talk.
You make prepositions of what might have upset her, it might be a small problem and you don't even need to worry, you also don't want to cross any barriers and meddle in something that is none of your business.
By night, you believe she's doing better because your little conversations seem light and without any apparent problems.
During the week, she didn't seem to care anymore about what was perhaps bothering her, but you know her very well and you know that despite her pretending everything is fine, something isn't right.
You set the bags on the kitchen counter after coming in from the market and go to the bedroom to announce your arrival, pausing in the doorway when you hear sniffles and sobs.
You take a deep breath and knock on the door, not wanting to startle her. “Baby, is everything okay?”
“Yes, I'm coming” her voice full of sadness breaks your heart and you slowly open the door seeing her quickly wipe her face sitting on the floor with her back resting on the bed.
“Hey, what happened?” you kneel beside her.
“I can't take it anymore” she hugs you with her face buried in your neck.
“It's okay, my love. I'm here” you wait for her to calm down, but she doesn't break away and doesn't even look up in shame.
“I'm sorry”
“Why are you apologizing?”
She shrugs.
“You do not need to apologize. Tell me what happened?”
“I thought it would get to a point where I didn't care anymore, but it seems to affect me more than I realize”
“Tell me what I need to do to help you, I will solve it”
“You can’t solve”
“Why?”
She pulls away and lowers her eyes before answering, not daring to look you in the eye because if she does, she feels like she's going to cry again. “It’s these hate comments”
You feel your heart sinking in your chest to see her in this state, you've always been aware of the absurd amount of comments she receives, many of them being disrespectful comments and your blood boils knowing that they come from people hiding behind a screen of cell phone, because if you saw someone say that in front of you, you would not be responsible for your actions.
“Look at me” you ask holding her face and making her look into your eyes. “Nothing they say is true. I know that I can say a thousand nice things to you, but that if you read a mean comment on a bad day, it will stick in your head and erase all the good things I said to you. I know it's hard to ignore and that it's easier to say you don't care than to really not care. But you have me and I'm always open to talk, it doesn't matter if it's about just one bad thing or ten, we're not always going to talk about nice things and I'm willing to listen to you, you don't have to hold everything and think you're disturbing me”
Jennie stares at you without saying anything. If it was her old relationship, her ex would tell her to stop the drama and that these comments only affect her because she looks for them and keeps reading them. She hates comparing you to her ex, but unconsciously her brain does that, because she can't believe that someone like you, who has so much patience with her, who always demonstrates to be willing to solve whatever is needed, who always knows what to say at the right time is with her and that above all understands not only her busy life, but also her deepest feelings.
She wants to say how grateful she is, she wants those words to just slip out of her mouth so she doesn't have to say them so precisely. But that doesn't happen, instead she just lets your words of comfort flow through her mind and nods her head as a sign that she understands what you mean.
“Great” you smile. “I bought popcorn, how about we watch cartoons?”
“I think it would be perfect”
“Then let's go” before getting up and extending your hand for her to accompany you, you place two kisses on her forehead and gently wipe her nose with the sleeve of your shirt.
Three
If it weren't for the countless times your girlfriend has said she misses you over video call, you wouldn't be getting on a plane right now. For the few minutes of the call, you could see the rush and preparation for the third consecutive day of concert, imagining the stress of all the team to fix the last details.
You've quickly packed a small bag for travel, as the concert is taking place in a nearby town, and after dropping your belongings at the hotel, you stop at a coffee shop near the stadium to buy Jennie's favorite sweets.
You send a message to a staff you befriended once while backstage letting her know you're coming and as soon as she spots you, she helps you get past the security guards leading you to where your girlfriend is.
“Decided to come at the last minute?” she asks as she shows the access card to another security guard.
“Yes, I decided to surprise her” she smiles.
“She will like it, we had some problems in rehearsal and stage preparation today and not everyone is in a good mood”
You leave the sweets and a bouquet of flowers on a table behind the stage, and stepping onto the large platform, which overlooks countless seats, you see Jennie at the end of the catwalk, much smaller than she is because of the distance.
You greet your friends who are also part of the group closest to you on the stage and start walking around the huge platform.
She has her back, giving you the opportunity to hug her. “Hi, love” you say in her ear and she gets tense for a few seconds, but then relaxes when she hears your voice.
“What are you doing here?” she asks in surprise, turning her head slightly to check that you're really there.
“Ouch, is this how you receive your girlfriend who came from another city and stayed on the plane for hours just to see you?” you ask jokingly with mock offense.
“You know what I meant!” she pouts and you kiss her.
“Yeah, I know. Since you can't live away from me, saying you missed me so much, I decided to come stay with you” you chuckle as she pats your arm rolling her eyes.
“If you're going to tease me, let's stay in separate rooms at the hotel” you know she doesn't mean it, she turns into your arms with a smile on her lips.
“Right” you laugh and seal her lips. “But I’ll let you know that I brought my camera and I’m going to record everything”
As she finishes rehearsing on stage, you take countless photos. It's not like you've never been to a concert before, but seeing her so happy and comfortable in the place she was born to be, makes you smile for hours until your cheeks hurt.
You go to the dressing room so she can get ready and you hand her the bouquet and a bag of sweets. She radiates happiness and you can't resist pinching her cheeks as she chews on one of the macarons.
Jennie has already received thousands of flowers, but when you give them, the feeling is much more special and her heart skips a beat.
She tries to hide her emotion as she eats and hopes you didn't see her eyes fill with tears. She really missed you, even though you texted or called her every day, she couldn't wait to come home and be with you. She knows it's not easy to take a last minute break from work, find a flight and spend the day doing practically nothing during rehearsals. And yet you did it without a second thought and with a beautiful smile on your face, going on and on about how cool she looks on stage.
She thought about confessing her deepest feelings before going onstage, so that she wouldn't have to look you in your eyes if you didn't return them yet, but the only thing she was able to say was “thanks for coming”.
Four
One of Jennie's hobbies, and one that she hasn't done in a while, is cooking desserts. She always liked to make cakes, pies, waffles and many others simply for the pleasure of making them and many times some of them stayed in the fridge for weeks until you could eat everything.
In an afternoon with nothing to do, you saw a video of stuffed cookies on your cell phone and showed it to her. She soon got excited about making them and you wouldn't expect that she wanted to make them right away.
Searching the cupboards and fridge for ingredients, she places them on the counter and begins reviewing the recipe.
You simply stand beside her, waiting for some instructions on what to do, she soon tells you what you have to do and you get in tune while working.
You ask a few times to try the stuffing, but she denies saying it's not ready yet. Some time later you see her with a spoon in her mouth.
“Hey, you said it wasn’t ready yet!” you accuse her indignantly and she laughs in your face.
“It wasn't ready at that time, now it is” she mocks and starts stuffing the cookies.
“Jennie Kim, if I were you I would be careful how you talk”
“Why? What are you going to-” her sentence is cut off as you take flour in one of your hands and throw it in her face.
Laughing uncontrollably, you lean against the counter and your stomach starts to hurt from laughing so hard. She processes what just happened for a few seconds and you almost swallow flour when she takes her revenge, laughing out loud of your face when you run to the sink to spit the ingredient out of your mouth.
You've never seen her laugh so hard, her laugh is infectious and you start having a fit of giggles as you dirty each other up.
Jennie always thought you were extremely beautiful, with your eyes that always seem to have that unique sparkle and a laugh that could light up the entire planet. Before she can say anything, you've pulled her into a shower while the cookies get cold.
A small sound coming from the back of her throat makes it clear that she is enjoying you shampooing her hair. You repeat the process and apply conditioner, securing her locks in a bun.
When you go to start washing your hair, she takes the shampoo out of your hands and does to you what you did to her. Jennie smiles at how stunning you are, with the water coursing through your body, with your eyes closed feeling her fingers on your head and the orange light of the sunset illuminating you.
Jennie must be the luckiest person in the world to be able to experience paradise while still on Earth. If when she arrives at the gates of paradise and finds anything less than that, she will believe that everything they imagine about this angelic place is a lie and she will want to go back immediately. Why is it possible that a place known as the best place to be, with peace, joy and an indescribable feeling doesn't have you in it?
Five
The summer breeze makes your hair fly in the wind as you walk with your dogs. Each leading one on a leash, you make your way to the park that you always go when the weather is nice for a walk.
You stop at an ice cream parlor and you order your favorite flavor and Jennie chooses a different flavor every time, claiming that her new favorite flavor might be out there and she won't find out if she doesn't try it.
You sit on a bench in the park and you feel Jennie staring at you. “Something wrong, love?” you ask already knowing the answer.
“I didn't like that flavor very much” she confesses and you exchange your ice creams, giving yours to her.
“What flavor is that?” you ask with a little ice cream in your mouth.
“Rainbow” she laughs at your grimace.
“And what should that taste like? It has almost no taste, it feels like I'm drinking water” you laugh.
After she is happy having your her ice cream, you move to a more open space and let go of the leashes, letting the dogs run and play freely. You run, jump and throw the toys for them to fetch while Jennie watches you sitting on a picnic blanket.
You decide that's good for today and it's time to go home. When you go to bend over to put the leashes back on, she bends down at the same time and you bump your foreheads. She was going to pretend she got hurt so she could get a peck on the forehead, but she sees you laughing and starts laughing at your reaction.
In the middle of the park, with two dogs watching their owners and laughing at something so silly, you look like two idiots in love. You two are idiots in love. Who laugh at the dumbest things, who watch their partner with love and a smile on your face, with a look that says it all at the same time.
Jennie will tell you. Not today, not this time. But she's determined to take that step and put all her fears and insecurities aside because if you haven't walked away by now, if you've been with her through her ups and downs, if you've seen her cry, laughed, heard her secrets and goals she wants to achieve in the future, all of them including you, it's because you're going to stay in her life as long as she allows it and that means forever.
With butterflies in her stomach, she intertwines your hands and you walk back home in a comfortable silence, talking only with looks and smiles.
Six: when she says the three words
It wasn't a good day for you at work today. Everything seems to have gone wrong, starting with your alarm clock that didn't go off and you were late, your boss who is almost never at the company but coincidentally was today and noticed you were late, thousands of emails to answer, short deadlines for document delivery and an extremely boring meeting that you barely paid attention to. On the way back home, a car almost hit yours for trying to overtake you at a red light and you almost had to rummage through your bag in the driveway because when you left for work, you just threw the object in your bag and you was frustrated that you couldn't do something as easy as finding the keys.
There are days and days. There are days when few things shake you, it's very difficult for you to get upset, it's easy to forget the problems and carry on as if nothing had happened. And there are days when your sensitivity is at an all-time high and a single hair out of place makes you want to cry with rage.
Despite being tired, you agreed with Jennie that this week you would be the one to do the laundry. If you said you weren't well, she would immediately tell you to lie down and do the chores for you, but you think it's good to do something to distract yourself.
You change and start taking the clean clothes out of the machine to put the dirty ones. You sort the clothes carefully so as not to make the same mistake as your girlfriend who once missed a red sock in the middle of the light clothes and turned everything into pink.
You put the clean ones in the dryer and for a moment you sit on the laundry room floor watching the laundry being done. Jennie frowns when she finds you on the floor and crouches down to your level.
“What are you doing there, doll?”
“Waiting for laundry to do” you mutter. She looks at the machine's dashboard that says the laundry will be clean in an hour.
“Are you going to wait an hour here?” you shrug and she strokes your hair.
“Bad day?”
“Bad day” you confirm.
“Get up” she extends her hand for you to take. “I'm not going to let you sit on the cold floor for an hour because of a bad day. Your back will thank me later”
You get up and she walks you to the kitchen. You stop in front of the counter, where her cell phone is and she puts it on a playlist, you immediately recognize the song. You don't know it, but she made a playlist with all your favorite songs, so when she's far away, she can feel close to you, whether it's the lyrics, the melodies, the memories you have sung through the songs or just because you likes a song is enough for her to like it too.
She places her hands on your waist and you place yours on her neck, lightly caressing the back of her neck. You lean your head on her shoulder and you start swaying lightly to the rhythm of the music. She makes circles on your back, not because you're crying or because it hurts, but to comfort you from the bad day you've had to go through.
You listen to her hum the lyrics and close your eyes to feel this moment as much as possible. You might feel a little better with that small gesture, as if the world doesn't exist, just the two of you dancing in the kitchen, in a parallel reality belonging only to you, where nothing bad can reach you because you're in the arms of your love, in the arms of the person who makes you feel safe, in the arms of someone who cares. And that's enough to make you feel good.
“I love you” Jennie finally says. She doesn't have to say it with her eyes closed or wanting to run away. She says every word. She faithfully clings to those three words that mean the world to you.
And a tear escapes your eyes, a single tear. It's not sadness or anger. It's for being able to hear this and being able to know what it's like to feel loved. To be loved by someone you love too, to be loved by someone who knows and accepts your flaws. Being loved by someone who would kill and die for you is the best thing you could ever feel in your entire life. To be loved by Jennie.