wip wip wip wip
Maaaaaybe share something from the Luminesce🕯️💡🔦🤩
I got two asks about Luminesce! @earlgrey-lateatnight also dropped an ask :)
So Luminesce I started back in June long before I even started several of my published YR fics T_T It got a bit sidelined whilst I finished up a long collab in another fandom and two Fandom Trumps Hate fics for the end of year deadline.
In part because it's quite heavy and it was taking a lot to write, it's quite angsty, possibly a bit whumpfy and will deal with Wille's mental health quite a bit.
I am planning to pick this one back up once I've finished off the few prompt asks I got :)
The premise is that Simon never went to Hillerska, instead Sara transfers to a SEN school for her needs, she gets support and does well and Simon stays at Marieburg.
Simon drifts, unmotivated and not challenged and unsure what sort of life to expect when he graduates. Rosh and Ayub's attitude of 'why bother wanting more than Bjarstad' grates on him but he can't see his options.
Wille goes to Hillerska but without Simon's presence ends up under August's thumb that first year and then he and Erik heavily influence Wille throughout the rest of his time there.
Erik never dies and Wille never has to step into the Crown Prince role, but his position as 'spare' leaves him feeling more and more directionless, putting the mask on in public and slowly losing who he is, not really able to make real friends.
Both of them are on the borderline of giving up and accepting their lives. Wille's as the perfect spare Price his mother and Erik and August have pressured him to be and Simon the idea that he won't ever leave Bjarstad, that his music will never be enough and he'll never be heard.
Until one evening when Simon finds Wille, cold and half asleep, laying in the snow on the football pitch and staring up at the stars.
The title comes from the lyrics I started writing for Simon because I literally cannot help myself :D
We’re still drowning listless, still falling hopeless
But maybe I wanna change my mindset
and maybe you don’t wanna forget
Yeah, I know we’re still soaked in regret,
But maybe we can get a different kinda reset
Maybe somewhere in this cold and empty mess
We’ll discover how to luminesce.
Snippet:
“Look bro, I don’t know what your fucking deal is but I’m not about to be responsible for the headline ‘body found on football pitch’ tomorrow okay?”
Wille looked back at the sky. “I’m not going to kill myself.”
The boy snorted. “Well, you’re doing a fucking good job acting like you are.”
“I’m not going to kill myself,” Wille repeated and closed his eyes, inhaling deeply and letting the cold air burn all the way into his lungs. “I’m not allowed to.”
***
Simon rolled his eyes. “Please, we’re gonna go to school tomorrow, probably fail that maths test, head here to watch you play football and then go home.” He shook his head. “Then at the weekend we’ll do the exact same thing with less school and more drinking.”
He couldn’t stop the bitter tone in his voice even as he watched Rosh's jaw set and Ayub look away. Simon didn’t know what he expected, this was hardly the first time they’d had this conversation, or a version of it.
He’d been more optimistic at some point.
They all had.
They’d had plans.
Big plans.
Leaving home and seeing things plans.
“You don’t know that,” Rosh shot back, lifting her head.
“Yeah, I do,” Simon replied, standing up. “It’s the same fucking thing we’ve done every weekend for years.”
