Name: Ninjoe, Ninjohn, and Ninjerry
Debut: Super Paper Mario
Can I be honest with you? Up until the exact moment I wrote this post, I think I’ve been misinterpreting these guys’ designs. I’ve realized that they’re probably meant to be humanoid creatures with large cloaks surrounding their bodies, but I’ve always interpreted them as walking pants!
But whatever! Their character design is so simple that they very well CAN be walking pants! Who cares if it’s not right? It’s funnier anyway. These guys are never gonna return! Who at Nintendo is there to prove me otherwise?
Poor Ninjoe and pals, they’ve always been barred from those “No shirts, no shoes, no service” restaurants, because they don’t have those because their entire existence is being a pair of walking pants. How sad!
So what did they do instead? They became ninjas, which is good because their names would not be fitting if they were to take up any other profession. They do exactly the sorts of things ninjas should do! They throw stars and move really fast and use smoke bombs to disappear and re-appear somewhere else! Unlike actual ninjas, however, they are bright purple and green and orange, which doesn’t make them very good at hiding, so they need a LOT of smoke bombs. Where do they keep them all? In their PANTS! Which are also their entire bodies.
Ninjoes, Ninjohns, and Ninjerries should technically all be first encountered in Sammer’s Kingdom, where they assist the many, many Sammer Guys you fight throughout the level, but chances are, you’ll only ever see the Ninjoes, if any of them at all during the main storyline! You want to know why?
Because the Sammer’s Kingdom is the first world to get completely destroyed by the Void! You go in, fight a bunch of Sammer Guys, and then ZAP! It’s gone! There are no Sammer Guys! There is no Sammer Kingdom! Sorry! So you’ll probably only ever meet Ninjohn and Ninjerry if you beat the game and go back there, or alternatively meet them in the Pit of 100 Trials, which is where they like to hold their family reunions. Some of their other relatives, such as Ninjosh, Ninjames, Ninjessie, Ninjed, Ninjimmy, Ninjuno, Ninjoel, Ninjenny, and Ninjasmine were unfortunately not invited.
While we unfortunately will probably never see all those wonderful walking trousers, we are fortunate enough to see another enemy with the Eyes-in-a-Black-Void Face! It’s been a while, hasn’t it?