Speaking of healing, we've been talking a lot about Nirael and what exactly he wants/needs in terms of his own healing.
He's bitterly noted several times now that he's near-universally hated and that even those closest to him have left, but he has zero desire to really be less of an asshole, generally speaking. He doesn't care about most people's opinions and isn't going to try to be a kinder person overall.
He's not necessarily asking to be loved in spite of this, or for others to tolerate his behavior. Because he does change his behavior for those he cares for, works on himself.
His regret is that this isn't enough, and that leaves him feeling fundamentally broken.
It's still difficult to pin down what exactly he needs. Because you'd say like, he needs a different hobby. But he's tried things. Even if there's some satisfaction there, it's still hollow and there's no enjoyment.
I think even what enjoyment he gets out of tormenting others isn't so even enjoyment, but just a confirmation of how he views himself. He's a conqueror, a living weapon, someone to be feared and hated.
He's started to / come to realize that he doesn't want to fight anymore, but he doesn't really know what to do with those feelings and chalks it up to him being rusty; A weapon, yes, but a broken and damaged one.












