Ermmm nothing to post properly atm but this is the current writing vibe:
“You look like you’re going to throw up,” Auguste said as he leaned in to him
“That’s because I am going to throw up,” Laurent hissed back, giving his brother a glare.
Auguste just laughed and shook his head “the trick is to pretend there’s nothing wrong, people take their cues from other people, you act like you have something to be ashamed of and they’ll shame you, act like you don’t care and they’ll get bored of caring themselves,”
That was surprisingly observant and incredibly useless to him. Because he did care and he couldn’t help the stiffness of his shoulders or the way his limbs felt shaky.
oh my god you have no idea how good it is to come to tumblr and discover that you, besides still posting, also still talk about capri 😭 I finished reading the posted chapters of "(not) meant for you" (And I was obviously OBSESSED because well… THIS STORY IS INCREDIBLE??? LIKE TF COULDN'T I SLEEP I WAS SO OBSESSED) and I worried about the story being unfinished forever, the fact that you're still involved in the fandom gives me a little hope that that won't happen! I'm so excited to read more of your capri stories. do you plan to continue posting fics after you finish NMFY? (especially Modern/Modern Nobility aus these are my particular favorites lol).
Anyway, sorry for the clumsy message lol, I just loved your story and thought I needed to come and check if everything was ok. You are a very good writer <3
Hey my lovely,
That's so kind, I'm really glad you enjoyed it (even if it made you lose sleep)
It isn't abandoned I am just useless and life has been hectic AF. It is nearly done, I cannot stress enough how close I am, I'm just lazy atm and renovating my house which is stressful ngl
I do have a few fics to come after NMFY yes, most of them are good to go already, I just want to finish NMFY first before I post them.
Modern AU- Very dark long fic the main themes are infidelity, hypersexuality, abuse, and mental illness (this is the one I’ve mentioned previously that currently has 2 full word pages of triggers and warnings LMAO so it really won’t be for everyone)
Modern Nobility AU - Veretian Masquerade coming of age party
Modern AU Cam boys/Only Fans
AU 1920s Gangsters
AU Roman-esque Gladiator fic
Canon Divergent - Marlas peace treaty-esque that’s a little bit D/L and a little bit D/A
Canon AU – Challis scene/post assassination attempt sexy times because why not.
So hopefully there will be something you like in those and if not, I say it all the time, but if you have something specific I love a good prompt, you never know what’s gonna spark a little bit of creative magic, you know?
So thank you my love and don't apologise, it isn't clumsy at all and I appreciate you dropping me a message, I hope you're having a fabulous day/night 💕
GRRRL WHERE YOU AT. I know you aint be leaving us hangin like this i'm 💀 I NEED it. I’ll be over here suckin up crumbs if you got them. A morsel! ANYTHING 🙏🙏🙏
Lmao i'm sorry!!
I am a flakey mess. I have written around 80k words for capri stuff recently including part of my next long fic and three one shots all of which are not being posted because I am very aware that I have an obligation to finish NMFY first
We've got gladiators, or 1920s gangsters. That's it.
So like you can have one of those? or like, one of Damen's POVs but that's all I've got complete rn I'm sorry, I know I suck
But like in a silly charming kind of way right.... RIGHT?!?
hi im so sorry to bother u but plsssss tell me that (not) meant for you is going to get its HEA ending i just stayed up all night to binge it and i'm obsessed
Hey my lovely,
It is still getting it's HEA don't worry! I am just a little behind schedule. And by a little I mean like, 9 months, but that's beside the point.
In my defence I have written it. Six times now.
And i'm currently on version 7 so erm, bear with me lmao. This is what you get when you write things on the fly with 0 plan because idk if you noticed but NMFY got away from me a little bit.
But yes, it's on the way I promise. I also have some other NMFY related stuff to go up after, as a lil treat lmao
I'm glad you liked it, though I am sorry to have interrupted your sleeping pattern haha 💕
Speaking of Damen’s POV. I’ve always wondered what Damen was thinking in Chapter 5 when he just got back from secretly rescuing Auguste and Laurent ask him whether he wanted to fuck him. Idk because the way you wrote it seemed so ominous.
Did Damen ever suspect that Laurent was ever groomed at all? Because I think it’s evident that Laurent portrays obvious signs of unhealthy experience like how he assumes that every favour should be repayed with sex etc.
Would love to know more on Damen’s introspection of Laurent. And ngl for someone as protective as Damen, I’m surprised that Damen didn’t take action on Bastian sooner. Like just beat him up already djdghshs
Okay this might get long so I’m very sorry! And I’ll put it under a cut because it could potentially be upsetting or triggering and I don’t want anyone to accidentally see it.
Damen’s awareness of Laurent’s abuse in canon and how I translated this.
Firstly, thank you so much for this question, and yes, it was meant to be a little ominous or dark because you guys all know what it implies.
I’ll start by saying it is a tough topic to navigate in fiction because the nuances can get lost on page and there is no one size fits all.
And that’s always very present in my mind when I think about Captive Prince and the way it deals with -and the ways it doesn’t deal with- Laurent’s abuse.
For Damen in particular I based NMFY and Damen's behaviours/reactions entirely on my opinion regarding the canon.
Did Damen consciously and actually think the words “Laurent was groomed”? No.
Do I think he was aware on many levels of the things he was witnessing, and cataloguing of Laurent's behaviours, and it's likely source? Yes.
I think Damen, like many of us, would never just assume something so brutal regardless of what’s in front of us. It’s not a standard thing to think or assume regardless of the people and circumstances around the person. Most people do not go around thinking of it because it is abhorrent and outside of -most- people’s experiences. I think as good people we -like Damen- would shy away from the conscious admission of the thought because we don’t want it to be true. Even when something is “off”.
And I believe that is at the heart of Damen's understanding in canon (and in my fic by extension). Canon Damen is very good at compartmentalising and actively not thinking about the things that upset him. His ability to repress his pain (Kastor, Jokaste, being made a slave, not getting to say goodbye to his murdered father, the prep and ring scene, the post, Ancel... the list goes on) is unparalleled and speaks to his own trauma response mechanisms. I think this very much extends to Laurent and the fact that he was, as Damen said "mishandled"
He actively shies away from it. He notices little things here and there and then quickly swerves away. An example that springs to mind right now from very early on is Pg 13 of Prince's Gambit:
There was something uneasily transgressive about the idea of sleeping in the place meant for Laurent’s uncle “the prince stays here often?”. The castellan mistook him to mean the keep, not the rooms. “Not often, He and his uncle came here a great deal together in the year or two after Marlas. As he grew older, the Prince lost his taste for the runs here. He now comes only rarely to Chastillon."
Damen made a leap but he doesn't tell us exactly what that leap is. We just know that the intimacy of Laurent sleeping in his uncle's bed made him uneasy. That something felt off. But the castellan mistakes Damen's meaning implying it is something normal and follows up with what is essentially the reason he thinks nothing of it. And then food arrives and Damen rushes off to it with the air of someone desperate to cut the conversation. A flash in the pan; noticed, documented, and quickly buried. One instance of many.
So, yes. I think Damen was only waiting for confirmation both in Canon and in my fic. He was actively repressing everything he had noticed and rejecting the conclusion he desperately did not want to think about.
Because what if he was wrong? That’s a terrible thing to assume or bring up or bookmark in your head about someone when you don’t know.
I think in Canon, and likewise what I attempted in my fic, it equates somewhat to: Schrödinger’s awareness. He doesn't know, but he also does.
In Chapter 5 of NMFY it gives Damen pause, like most of Laurent’s glaring markers, the same way they do for Damen in canon. It’s something he makes a note of and something he endeavours to not question out right -not his place- and to make sure Laurent feels safe enough to know Damen would never do what Laurent expects.
This part in particular I based on Laurent’s assumption following how drunk he gets at Marlas in Kings Rising, that Damen probably fucked him. Laurent in CP and Laurent in my fic are both aware that being out of it (drugged, practically asleep, incredibly drunk) means it’s easy to fuck him and all he has to really do is lie there and it’ll be over quick, because his submission or compliance is the expected norm. Neither upsetting nor angering to him. Just is what it is. An expectation from experience. He’s less trouble when he’s half conscious: this he knows and equates it to ideal time to fuck him because docile is preferable and his comfort/consent has never been part of the equation.
In my fic Damen clings to the idea that Auguste would have said something if it had been true of Laurent. So whilst he’s aware something about Laurent is off, he consciously shuts the ideas down. But Damen doesn’t take time to be convinced both in my fic and in canon, he just absorbs it. There are no questions, it’s just bringing a hard buried suspicion to the forefront as fact.
As for Bastian I think Damen wants to so very badly. But he’s also aware that he can’t really do that given who they are. And he’s never exactly certain that it’s his place to do so. He (and me by extension or is that the other way around? Haha!) needs Laurent to pull the trigger so to speak. He’s protective yes but Laurent has his own agency and Damen wouldn’t overstep that.
Especially in a modern setting and in this setting in particular where he has to worry about the press and the truth of a certain situation which he can never afford to have out. Anything with the police is a no go for him. Just in case. Damen is aware that the Royal family, the secret service, they’d all flip if someone dug up -or dragged up- the truth so its best not to tempt fate. Which absolutely isn’t to say he can’t be pushed but as of right now he’s conscious of Laurent and his choices and what he might want -or not want- and his place in all of that. He’s not petty enough to lash out with jealousy at least. Like in canon jealous Damen is more derisive and sulky than aggressive or petty.
I am very sorry this got so long but I wanted to give it a proper answer 💕💕
In nmfy, I can't quite get my head around the Royal family tree. I'm sure that if I went back and found all the references to cousins and kings that I might be able to figure it out again. But, let's see: the king is the nephew of Damen's father--and I think you said that Damen is the kings cousin – – then presumably Theomedes had an older sibling who was king or queen before the current one and who is now deceased, yes?
And I know that Bastian and Nik's bride are siblings, but I can't seem to pull up The relationship of any of the three of them to the king or Damen or whomever. And are Aleron, Auguste, and Laurent somewhere in the same family tree? What about Nicaise?
I simply adore royal family trees and whenever they are available perusal, I peruse them in great detail and imagine how all the complex interactions came to pass. So, just curiosity.
Hey hun!
So, it is based on the English system of titles because that is what I’m familiar with.
For Damen, he is the son and heir of the Duke of Ios. His aunt (Theomedes' sister) was the Queen consort as she married into the royal family.
The King is therefore Damen’s first cousin.
The others are probably all related if you go back far enough but generally speaking they’re not related. Aleron is a Duke, which in terms of title hierarchy it would go King > Prince > Duke. So he’s very rich and has a lot of land.
Historically large titles such as dukedoms have affiliated titles and historical connections to other titled lords in their region that are not “as powerful”
So Bastian’s family I believe I said was an Earl (I think Chastillon from memory) The title is tied to the land and to Bastian's family.
Titles are usually passed down from father to son. Nikandros’ title is Marquess, and his families region is in Delpha.
Nicaise I didn’t specify but as his mother married into a minor titled family Nicaise has no claim to the title and has no rights to the land because it's his step-dads. Aimeric and Ancel are both younger sons of titled families so they don’t have specific titles themselves but they're rich.
Powerful titled families (like Dukes) tend to have several subsidiary titles attached to the dukedom. So for example in England atm the Duke of Richmond is also the Earl of Kinara, and Baron Settrington etc. The next most powerful title the Duke holds, which in this case is "Earl of Kinara" is generally given to the eldest son/heir. So if you look up that title, it'll be held by the Duke's Eldest son.
For NMFY it makes both Damen and Auguste Earl’s in their own right now even before they have inherited the Dukedom.
It's all pretty messy and complicated tbh haha, which... can we expect anything else of the english?? This was super fun to answer so thank you! 💕
