Anyone else feel just so absolutely alone in the sense that they never had the opportunity to go through phases that people have before high school like,
I never got the chance to develop actual interests or any sort of uniqueness, never got the chance to choose or buy clothes for an aesthetic, had no exposure to the internet/identities and wasn't really able to figure out who they are before the age of like 16?
And now I see people post tiktoks about people who were emo in middle school or watched this or that show, dressed a particular way, had any sort of uniqueness or identity themselves and I just feel like I want to cry because I never had the ability to change to figure out who I was so I don't have a sense of identity even though I'm 17.
And now, it's hard because I have an idea of who I want to be, the aesthetic I wish I could have, but I can't even explore that because of things like the fact I have absolutely no money to buy a new wardrobe, merch, or other things related to my interests.
I've literally had the same wardrobe for two years without getting like any new clothes at all and they aren't even clothes that fit into the aesthetic of even just a basic teenage look so I just look like trash because I look painfully as though I don't have a fashion sense because I have no other clothes.
This is my reality, as someone who gets no allowance, has no income, lives in a low-income family with one person working to support five people .
I guess I'm just sad that this is my life and I can't even begin to express myself the way I want yet.
