Define heartbreak.
define a word.
——— heartbreak held many meanings ; some more devastating than others, but most learned from an e a r l y age. learned since the moment young ears stumbled upon the stilted speech given from word of mouth. the first moment of heartbreak stiles stilinski felt wasn’t even his own —— it was secondhand, carried on shoulders too small for the burden placed there, especially when his own, uncomprehending version was settled right on top when the sourced of that secondhand heartbreak chose to explain what was happening. chose to sit him down & try to explain things like
——— frontotemporal dementia. ——— no cure.
the first time stiles stilinski encountered heartbreak was secondhand ; though that made it no less painful, no less terrifying as days went by, in the eventual aftermath of that all-encompassing despair. every other thing that landed itself in the category of heartbreak would never come close to that —— not by a long shot. it was all a series of mini-heartbreaks ; little cracks in the armor he tried oh-so-desperately to build around his already wounded veneer. things that felt horrible, in that moment, but held no candle to what happened at the ripe age of eleven.
sometimes he wished he could say he felt invincible after the death of his mother. that he was able to handle anything life threw at him. that no one would notice how empty he felt inside, covered in layer after layer of sarcasm & snark, in vicious bravado & callous behavior toward anyone he felt was inferior.
in actuality, he was losing that battle day after day —— thing rapidly moving in the ever-steady direction of unhinged ever since he was chosen by the nogitsune as the target for all that chaos & strife. it served its purpose, after all ; he was susceptible to heartbreak just like everyone else. it just felt much more detached than what most seemed to feel, from his end.
