💚 - how does my muse feel about love? about falling in love? about being in love?
considering she’s fallen in love before, babs does believe in it but since she likes to remain in control of… everything in her life, she finds it difficult to admit, or give into. you can’t control your feelings and that’s something she really struggles coming to terms with. plus losing someone is really not that fun either and that’s always a risk. not even in the dumping way, like your partner dying and being left completely lost without the person.
before falling in love, babs would pretend not to believe in it, athough part of her wasn’t so sure either. considering her mom walked out on her dad ( and the kids ) when she was young, she’d watch movies and read books and just think… yeah that’s not real. even couples she’d personally know or encounter on the street — that’ll never last. there were times when she thought she was in love as a teen, but in reality it was because they were showing her affection in that way which wasn’t something she was used to. then it actually happened to her and of course she was in denial pretty much the whole time. just a stupid crush, they won’t like you that way etc.
when she was in love however, it’s the best feeling to be loved back too like there’s nothing comparable to having that shared closeness and mutual connection with someone. but last time babs was, she still held doubts in the back of her mind. it was after the shooting and her depression and ptsd were through the roof, so when they were giving her all this time and devotion, she put it down to the fact they had to and just felt sorry for her. i mean she didn’t feel this way the whole time because that would just be miserable and they genuinely do make babs happy. i guess in the end it comes down to feeling like as a whole, it’s too good to be true, nothing will last forever and her default reaction is to get away before she’s fallen too deep.