“Did you ever count the children” is reason #3 of why I hate the 50th
Perhaps controversial opinion, but meh
Because yes, it’s really just killing the children of Gallifrey that’s gutted The Doctor for hundreds of years and left him wracked with guilt and suffering from PTSD and survivor’s guilt. The children are the reason Ten is so mad with Eleven’s aloofness/nonchalant-ness on the matter.
NOT the combined factors of (450+ years of war, PLUS losing countless friends and their great-grand son to it, PLUS being possessed by/becoming the unwilling host of some Dalek-created eldritch being (Nightmare Child) and tortured by it, PLUS having to command battalions and Take Responsibility For Realsies (TM), PLUS having to commit genocide and erasing his planet just so that it can end, AND surviving all that when they expected to die as well.
*eye roll*
(Never mind that “child” and “children” and “childhood” are vastly different things and experiences for Gallifreyans/Time Lords)
The Doctor has never gotten on with their people. On a good day, they would probably feel indifferent about the Time Lords/Gallifreyans. Most days they would low-key dislike them, and on days were the Time Lords are being Massive Asshats, they loathe them. The Doctor has personally suffered under the hand of their people so many times: been exiled, branded a renegade, hunted down, put on trial at least twice, had their mind messed with, been manipulated to do their dirty work only to be exiled again when they were no longer useful... I personally don’t think The Doctor is actually too upset about the Time Lords not being around to Meddle in their life and make it miserable.
The Doctor has also always been - to varying degrees - Utilitarian, and rather selfish. They will take the path they feel is the Right one, and if it serves them then all the better. So, if getting rid of the threat to Creation meant getting rid of their people? They’d do it. Not gladly -- they’d much rather someone else do the dirty work so that they can gallivant around the Universe without a Responsibility in the world - but they’d still do it.
If the Daleks had won the War, then Everything would have eventually been subjugated or exterminated. BUT the Time Lords were unwilling to concede defeat to “lesser” beings, so they’d Ascend and sacrifice the rest of the universe to achieve this.
The Doctor, who very much wants to Do Their Own Thing and run around the universe exploring, can’t have either of these outcomes because, either way, the thing they (selfishly) care about dies.
So the distasteful but logical solution is to remove *both* problems. It serves the Greater Good, and, if by some strange miracle/curse they survive, well... at least they get their roaming life back.
To paraphrase a line from MASH, War is worse than hell: it is chock full of innocent by-standers and people who want nothing more than to return to their own lives before the chaos happened; with the exception a select few, everybody in a war is an innocent by-stander to some degree. So much is destroyed, so much is LOST.
The Doctor loathes the War not so much because of the genocide (though NOTHING could have prepared them for the Silence in his head that would follow The Moment), but because of all that was Lost during and because of the War: the planets they couldn’t save, the cities they couldn’t prevent from falling, the innumerable peoples who were wiped out or almost so because they weren’t fast enough or strong enough or clever enough.
It was never about the children: Too much was at stake for it to be just about the children.
Too Much was Lost for it to just be about the children.