#non men

[ashedraisin]

She got tired chat lol

[sickly-sapphic]

This was an info post on instagram and a thread on threads, here it'll be a text post.

On the exclusivity and harm that non-men vs non-women language does.

Have you heard someone say "non-man", or maybe "non-woman"? Maybe you yourself use these terms as descriptive words or to describe queer terminology, but have you ever thought about the effects of these terms and what they promote - whether intentional or not?

With the goal of making queer identities easier to describe and overall more digestible, two terms have been seen more and more often - non-man and non-woman. But these terms aren't living up to the intention, in fact they're promoting what they seek to destroy - harm towards queer people, exclusion and misinformation.

The idea of these new terms is easier description for terms like lesbian, transfem, gay, transmasc and other terms. But in reality, using these terms to define queer people excludes many, many queer people from their own community!! Nuance and complicated identities have always, and will always exist, and gender diverse people are often the victim when this fact is forgotten.

Bigender, genderfluid, genderqueer... many queer people have heard these terms, many even personally know folks who use them, yet they're forgotten and excluded in even the most basic definitions, conversations and queer language. They exist outside of the non-men/non-women binary created, and therefore don't fit under the common definitions of their genders, sexualities, etc.

Even some of the most historically important queer folks are excluded in this language. Butch lesbians can be men and still lesbians, drag queens often had a complicated relationship with gender and existed as men and women, people have bent and broken the binary for centuries!! When we ignore them, we ignore their strength and contribution to the fight for queer liberation, all in the name of digestibility for non-queers.

Queerness was never meant to be digestible, or sanitised, or easily defined. Queerness exists outside of clear defined boxes, and outside of binaries, where blending and blurring the lines is more common then existing within them. Queer language should never squish out hard to define queerness for the sake of a quick definition. We erase queerness itself when we erase weird queers.

[literallyroselacroix]

Istg if this chapter’s culprit is another woman I will sob hysterically please let it be a man please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please I don’t care which one no offense to Whit and Charles they’re cool but like if I had to choose between either of them and a woman I would choose the woman I’m sorry although I do hope it’s not either of them they’re like 2 out of the 3 drdt men I actually tolerate losing them would be a shame bcs then we’d be stuck with the batshit crazy ones and I hate the batshit crazy ones they’re scary and not even in like a super fine woman way they’re just eugh. Like ick. Like ew. If this chapter’s culprit is a woman at least let her eat up her last moments like Celestia Ludenberg did 😞🙏 Like if it’s Hu like a lot of people are saying it is then I hope she gets to beat David into a comatose state before she dies because she definitely deserves that‼️

[mothishiding]

not to be a gender studies student but i am on the bus and i was looking at my phone and i noticed a man sit down across from me. i could see the legs of the person next to him, and they shifted further into the wall to make space for the man sitting down. then, after he took a seat, i was mildly surprised that the person sitting closest to the wall was a man. i had unconsciously, instantly assumed that the person closer to the wall would be a woman. in case it isn’t clear, that was most definitely because they had moved to make space for the man.

women and fem presenting people (as well as many trans and queer people and people of colour, i’m sure) seem to perhaps have more empathy for others because of how they were raised, and it’s more expected that they would – or even should – make room for and care about the comfort of particularly cishet white men. because cishet white men are above everyone else in the social hierarchy, and they are taught that that is so. their comfort matters more.

or maybe it’s that women and fem presenting people, people of colour, and lgbtq+ people have grown to fear the consequences of not making room for cishet white men in most public spaces – whether that be rudeness, aggression, sexual attraction, or outright violence.

and now i’ve been conditioned to assume that someone making space for someone else has to do with gender. ridiculous, really.

and at the same time, it’s frustrating. men have the capacity for the same general kindness and courtesy. and non-men have the capacity to not care about such things and prioritize their own comfort. both are honestly fine. not being courteous doesn’t make you a bad person. however, we’ve definitely been taught socially that that’s the polite thing to do, politeness is good, but it’s also feminine… and women ought to be even more polite because they are lesser than men and their only true purpose is to find a man to revolve their lives around so they should be grateful to be allowed in society at all. or some nonsense like that. the same is the case for people of colour – they are lesser and should make room for white people. the same is often the case in regards lgbtq+ people for cishet people.

this is why i always manspread on the bus now!! i’m sick of cishet white people taking up so much space and thinking it doesn’t affect the people around them, or that it doesn’t matter whether it does or not.

i want to take up space. as a black, queer, genderfluid trans person who was raised as a woman… i want to take up so much space! more space than i should, even! just because i can! just out of spite against all of these stupid social rules!

also, as a (mostly (genderfluidity and stuff)) transmasc person, i do feel some gender euphoria when i manspread on the bus, so there’s even a reward!

so that’s my rant for the day i guess. to all of the women and fem presenting people out there, lgbtqia+ people, and people of colour, take up so much space!!

[kokoch4nel]

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL LESBIAN DAY!!!!

[eccentricphilosoph]

If a man hates the idea of having the expectations put upon him, especially the guilt of being seen as the ultimate oppressor, he can suddenly become part of the ultimate oppressed group with the words “I am not a man”

Is this not something that can and does happen nowadays? This is the ultimate patriarchal move imo and we should be wary of those who would do this for this reason especially. I’ve seen it happen in real time to someone I knew who was a “nice guy TM” who was surrounded by trans umbrella friends and admitted fully to me he felt guilty being a straight cis man.

Then he identified as non-binary and pansexual the next month! He didn’t do anything publicly, didn’t change anything about his lifestyle, etc. He lived as he always did, but now without the guilt or responsibility of being a “cis straight man”.

We have pushed cis straight men so far into being seen as the ultimate oppressors that some will do anything to escape being seen as such.

At which point do we allow men to suddenly opt out of being men for their sake of no longer being obligated to others because they self-identify as non-men?

[stellatamp4]

Idk if my most recent followers are bots or not but they're all women so...Hey ladies!! Did I ever mention I love women? Because I do