Fire and Smoke
Fandom: The Pitt
Word count: 3,175
Reader: mid-30's, nonbinary! they/them, Firefighter
Series Masterlist
A/N: First time writing for The Pitt, first time posting anything in a while. I hope y'all enjoy this! I do intend to write several more parts to this, I just need to lay the groundwork.
Not everyone could put their life on the line for someone else. You would never judge anyone for that. But there was something inside of you that knew you’d never hesitate to jump into danger. You could never turn your back on a chance to help, to prevent a loss.
While you were never the one poking fun at probies or laughing at the start of a shift with your crew, everyone with the Bureau of Fire did tend to like you. Most probies had at least a few shifts with you straight out of the academy; you were a great teacher and got them into the swing of things quickly more often than not.
One new guy in particular had earned the nickname Shadow for following you around beyond his first month. He gladly took a schedule that matched yours and followed your every order. He was the closest anyone else at the fire station had seen you get to a friend.
It was a hot afternoon in Pittsburgh. The sun was shining, the air was still, and a fire had started in a four story apartment complex. The flames spread from one apartment to five by the time your crew arrived. Another engine was already setting up and clearing residents from the lower floors. You got your orders and led the way inside, taking the stairs up to the top floor.
“Jazz, Gran, you take floor three, Shadow and I have this one. Check in with each cleared apartment, don’t waste any time.”
The pair nodded and left at the entrance to the third floor while you continued on. You cleared five units before hitting trouble.
“Miss, can you hear me?”
The girl couldn’t respond. She was shaking and crying, curled up in the corner of what you guessed was her bedroom.
“I need you to come with me.” You glanced back. “Shadow, clear the rest of the unit and keep moving, I’ll be right behind you once she’s out.”
“Are you sure, Dex? I can-”
“I’ve got this, you keep going.”
He gave a hesitant nod and moved on.
You looked back and knelt down in front of the girl.
“My name is Dex, can you tell me your name?”
She still didn’t answer, so you moved a little closer. Just as you reached out, she lunged forward, throwing you off balance and knocking you to the floor. She straddled you before you could process what was happening and threw off your helmet.
“You can’t make me stay! I won’t!”
“I’m trying-” You grunted and tried to keep her hands from grabbing at your mask. “I’m not trying to make you stay, miss! There’s a fire; we need to go!”
She screamed in your face and ripped off your mask, sending a wave of hot, smoky air across your face. You tried again to grab her hands and stop her, but her nails raked across your exposed face and it erupted in pain.
Shadow, Jazz, and Gran were all speaking over your radio, calling each cleared unit. When you offered no response, Shadow tried again.
“Dex, you good? You get the girl out?”
“Get off me!”
You thrashed around, but the heavy gear you wore made it difficult to get out from under her.
“Dex, what’s going on?”
She was still screaming about something you couldn’t understand and swiping at you. You could tell enough to know you didn’t want to hurt her, but you were low on options as the room continued to grow hotter. Your train of thought stopped dead when her fist connected with your face, a sloppy but solid hit.
Your head slammed back into the floor at the impact and you finally gave in. Your hand scrambled for a grip on your fallen helmet and you swung at her head.
It didn’t take her down, but it knocked her aside enough for you to move out of her reach. You fumbled to your feet and raised your hands in a placating gesture.
“I’m just going to reach for my mask. Don’t attack me again.”
You kept your eyes on her as you slowly reached down, but your vision was getting a little hazy. You grabbed the mask and fixed it back over your face.
“I am not here to hurt you. This building is on fire and it’s my job to get everyone out. Do you understand that?”
“I don’t want to stay. They can’t make me stay!”
“You can go, right now. Just follow me, yeah?”
She watched as you moved back out of the bedroom and headed for the door. You gave her a wide berth, and she followed warily a few feet behind you.
“Dex!!”
“I’m here, sorry. I’ve got another one coming down, female, late twenties. She’s got something going on, but I don’t know what.”
You and the young woman went for the stairs and she started down first. You stayed about half a flight behind her to avoid another fight. When Shadow came over the radio again, you paused. The woman kept going.
“Dex, I have a door I can’t open. I think there’s someone inside. I’m at unit 407.”
“Copy that, I’ll be right there.” You looked down to the woman. “Keep going, miss! There will be emergency services outside to help you!”
You went back up the stairs to the top floor and met Shadow at the unit. The front door was open, but the first bedroom was locked.
“Dex, what the hell happened to you?”
“Don’t worry about it, I’ll get it checked out later.” You pounded on the door with one fist. “Pittsburgh Fire! Anyone in there?”
You listened. A small voice answered.
“Help!”
It was faint, frail. You nodded to Shadow and braced yourself before kicking the door in. The doorframe splintered, giving way under your effort.
“Let’s get you out of here, miss.”
“Thank you, young man.” The little old woman smiled sweetly at you both and allowed Shadow to help her to her feet.
You led the way back out of the apartment and back to the stairwell again.
“Get her down. I think we’ve got a few units left. I’ll cover them.”
“But you-”
“I’m fine. Go.” You tried for a reassuring smile. You were pretty sure it was closer to a pained grimace.
Shadow looked hesitant, but focused on the old woman and started helping her down the stairs. He quickly realized it would take too long and asked her permission to carry her instead, which she allowed. Meanwhile, you went back and cleared the last four units.
With each unit, your breathing got heavier and your vision got weaker. You called in each unit number and kept your focus on making sure everyone else was out. When your air ran out, you took a few labored breaths to realize it.
By the time you got one flight down the stairs, you stopped to lean against a wall and slipped your mask off. The pain in your face continued, but the air came a little easier. You didn’t have a spare second to wonder why your alarm didn’t go off.
You just kept walking, one heavy step after another. Your vision was blurred by the time you burst through the last door. The parking lot was chaos, overseen by an order you didn’t currently have the presence of mind to understand. You just stumbled forward into the throng of people.
“...Dex, what’s going on?”
You shook your head to clear the smoke, but that just made you dizzy. Arms wrapped around you, kept you upright.
“Dex!”
You dropped your helmet and tried to wave off the people around you. Touch was on an expressed consent basis only, everyone on your team knew that. With all the control you could muster, you headed for your engine.
Huh. The pavement looked a lot closer than it should.
---
There was a mask on your face, but it was wrong. It only covered your mouth and nose. This wasn’t your mask. So why were you wearing it? And what was that annoying beeping sound?
One eye slowly blinked open, followed by the other.
You were resting in a bed with sterile white sheets.
There were wires and tubes connected to your arms, and a thick tube coming from the mask over your face.
Shadow was resting at the foot of your bed, a book in his lap and his feet propped up next to yours. He looked like a mess. His reddish brown curls were pressed to one side of his head, darkened with soot. There were smears of dust on his face and his clothes were clearly a day old and heavily wrinkled.
You slid one foot over and nudged his. He startled out of his book and dropped it on the floor as he shot to his feet.
“Dex! Hey-” He came closer, then seemed to think better of it. “I gotta- uh-” He leaned around the curtain drawn across your room and called for a nurse. “I should call the team!”
You waved him away to do so as a nurse and doctor came into the room.
“Good morning, Lieutenant Dexridge.” You waved softly.
The nurse, a woman in a hijab, checked over your vitals and started removing your oxygen mask.
“My name is Doctor Robinavich, but you can call me Robby. This lovely woman is named Perlah, she’s your nurse. Are you aware of why you’re here?”
You waited for the mask to come off before trying to answer.
“Uh… I was on a call. Fire in an apartment building.”
Your voice sounded almost foreign to your own ears, so rough and worn.
Perlah grabbed a thin tube and fit it into your nose, tucking both ends over your ears.
“Now that you’re awake, we’re switching you off the non rebreather and onto what’s called a nasal cannula, that’s gonna keep fresh oxygen running into your blood. That fire did a number on you, Lieutenant.”
“Just Dex is fine.” You watched Perlah put away the mask and offered a quiet thanks. “How long was I out?”
“You were brought in yesterday afternoon, so it’s been about…” He checked his watch and did a quick guesstimate, “Eighteen hours. You’ve been asleep pretty much the whole time.”
You nodded slowly. It was only then that you noticed a plush dalmatian resting on your bed, just to the right of your knees.
Robby talked you through the steps they’d taken when you came in. Shadow had been at your side, refusing to leave in his absolute grief. The charge nurse had resorted to manhandling him out of the room so the doctors and nurses could work properly. You’d needed a bronchoscopy, among other things, which didn’t help the aggravation in your throat.
When you were determined to be stable, Shadow set up camp at your bedside and didn’t move once. Another crew member dropped off his backpack, which contained his book, and your pillow from the firehouse for a little extra comfort. That little effort went further than you figured they knew.
“So… what are the chances I can get discharged today?”
Robby had settled in the rolling chair backwards, resting his arms over the back of it. Perlah made herself scarce once her work was done and Shadow returned with an exhausted sigh. He was curled up in the visitor’s chair with his knees at his chest. He watched your every move like a hawk, as if the slightest misstep would send you into cardiac arrest or something.
“Not good. We’ll need to keep you at least one more day to make sure your lungs and throat are healing. This was a close call, Dex. You understand that, right?”
You looked down and realized Shadow was nudging the stuffed animal closer to your shaking hands.
“I’ll be fine though, right doc? If not today or tomorrow, then next week. Or next month. I can keep fighting fires and leading my team.”
Robby sighed and ran a hand down his face.
“Mr. Mohr-”
“Just Shadow, please.”
He nodded and continued, “Shadow, why don’t you go wait at the nurse’s station for the rest of your team? You said they were on their way?”
He nodded, but looked to you for confirmation first. You waved him out and he ducked past the curtain.
“Dex, I’ll level with you here. What you went through yesterday was serious. Would you care to explain where the scratches and blood on your face came from? Because that definitely wasn’t the smoke inhalation.”
“I… had a run-in with one of the tenants we were evacuating.”
“Would that happen to be the young woman we have on a psych hold right now?”
You shrugged. If it was her, that was a good thing. She might get the help she certainly appeared to need.
“You just went through a trauma, Dex. Not just the smoke inhalation and the broken SCBA, but the attack, of whatever caliber, by a person going through some sort of mental break. At the very least, you shouldn’t be back at work until we know the exact extent of the damage you suffered.”
You didn’t want to hear that kind of news. The job was everything to you. You didn’t want time off, you wanted to get back to the fire station and keep working. You ran your fingers over the ears of the plush in a quick pattern to keep yourself grounded.
“I understand that.”
“I also want to do a mental health evaluation. We have a social worker here, her name is Kiara. She can sit down with you while you’re here and talk you through what you’re dealing with.”
“Doc, I really don’t think all that is necessary. I work a stressful job, like you do; I’ve learned to cope. I appreciate the effort, really.”
“If you’re sure…”
“I am. I just want to rest a bit, I guess. And is it alright if I get some food?”
“Absolutely. We have some meal services here, or I’m sure your crew are willing to bring you something. They all seem to like you.”
You shrugged. You’d never tried all that hard to develop deep bonds with any of them, but you made sure you were a damn good lieutenant.
Robby took his leave once Shadow returned with Jazz and Gran. In her typical fashion, Gran had a little tupperware container full of cookies and a throw from her handcrafted collection for you. The trio stuck around for most of the day, even when you suggested they go home.
“Shadow, I mean it. Get the hell out of here.”
“Dex, I just think-”
“You’re off the clock. You don’t have to think. Go home. Sleep. Shower while you’re at it, you reek of smoke.”
“Pretty sure that’s you, Dex.”
You waved off Jazz’s response.
“I’m your lieutenant. Take it as an order.”
Shadow let out a shaky sigh and rose to his feet.
“Alright, I guess I could do with a break. Keep an eye on ‘em, Jazz?”
“You know it.”
You offered a little fist bump, which Shadow met, before he headed out with his bag over one shoulder. Once he was gone, you let out a long, shuddering sigh that sent you into a coughing fit. Gran patted your back softly and readjusted your pillow for you to lean back once you managed to catch your breath.
“Dex, Shadow didn’t give us all the details. How bad is it?”
You forced a deep breath in through your nose, out through your mouth. Once you were sure you could speak, you let your gaze fall to the sheets.
“I’ll just need some time. It’s nothing I can’t handle.”
The two women shared a look across the bed. They’d both worked with you long enough to know when you were trying to fool yourself. Shadow didn’t.
Gran kept you entertained for a few hours catching you up on the trash reality television she loved. You couldn’t have cared less, you never had. But it was sort of nice to know she was making an effort to keep you from being alone.
Once, just after sunset, a doctor stopped in to check on you. He was shorter than the one from that morning, with graying curls and a stern expression. All he said was that he was the night shift attending and would ensure someone was available if you needed anything. You just nodded and thanked him quietly.
Jazz stuck around until nearly midnight. She pulled out a deck of cards from her bag and played games with you, ran out to grab dinner to share, and gave you the updates she had on the fire and its victims.
“Jazz, you know you don’t have to stay here all night, right?”
She shrugged and shuffled the cards again.
“I’m not a child, or a fall risk or something. You’ve been here all day. Just go get some rest. I’m not about to go anywhere.”
She opened her mouth to argue, but you just laid your head back and closed your eyes, breathing deeply with the tube in your nose. You heard her sigh and stand, then shuffle out of the room slowly. Once you were sure you were alone, you allowed yourself to drift off to sleep.
Your dreams were filled with flames and screaming. The girl from the call was swinging at you with something in her eyes between loathing and terror. You turned and ran, against your own better judgement. You couldn’t face her, couldn’t fall to the hot floor again. When you cleared the doorway, only an endless hall of scorched walls greeted you. The unit doors had disappeared, but you could still hear the screams of your crew as if through the walls themselves.
Your feet kept moving, your ears straining to hear anything beyond the shrieks of pain. The girl caught up with you, tackling you to the floor and shoving your face into the burning surface. You bucked and fought like a wild animal, but nothing was enough. When you began to turn, barely reaching your back, she lunged at you again, your face erupting in the same pain from the day before.
Just before she could strike you once more, your eyes shot open and you jolted awake.
Your skin was slick with sweat and you could hear the ever present beeping of the heart monitor next to you. The lights had been dimmed to allow you to sleep, the curtain still drawn to give you privacy. Your eyes darted around the room to pick out whatever you could. Everything was blurred, which you slowly came to realize was the fault of tears in your eyes. You furiously wiped them away and tried to even out your breathing. The dream had felt so painfully real. It had been real, to a lesser degree. You’d be fine. You just needed to recover and get back to work. That’s all there was to it.
