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Fact: Nonbinary individuals have doppelgangers who exist in a mirror dimension. They have a small chance of switching dimensions at a random point in their life, which leads to confusion on all ends, let alone the onslaught of the end of their universes as they know them.
Fact: If their abilities are not reined in soon after developing, nonbinary individuals start to develop a Midas touch of sorts. Rather than turn into gold, everything they touch turns into confetti. Although this can be useful for parties, it can be quite inconvenient in day-to-day life.
Fact: Contrary to popular belief, the song “It’s Time” is not merely a popular hit single by Imagine Dragons, but also a call to arms for the genderqueer community. It is the signal the prophecies foretold of. I’m honestly disappointed that nobody has actually put the revolution into motion yet. But hey, although the community is resourceful, nobody ever said we were organised.
Fact: “Genderbender” is a hopelessly incorrect term, and has been misinterpreted as such. The proper term is “GenderBlender”, which is, of course, the famous machine created by Stoward Hark. This machine is able to take any people who choose to discriminate and hate others and not recognise their genders or ridicule them for it, and blend other genders into their being, thus remedying this indecency, and increasing the size of the genderqueer army. Today, improving the outlook of bigots. Tomorrow, the world.
Fact: Nonbinary individuals are all pirates in disguise. It’s not even that great of a disguise. I mean, they’re all obsessed with gendARRR, and “Loot” is their middle name. Literally. Every single one of them legally has “Loot” as a middle name. The only exception to these statements is, of course, polygender individuals, who are really parrots in disguise, and constantly in want of crackers.
Fact: Nonbinary individuals invented the idea of raising the roof. Now that raising the roof is rather commonplace, it is necessary for them to maintain their roof-raising heirarchy by constantly finding ways to increase the height of the roof. Some of the less conventional tactics may or may not involve having the roof supported by such precarious objects as martini glasses, grand pianos, and bloodstone circles. This is a matter of international significance.
Fact: While most people experience only a single metamorphological state in their lifetime, typically called puberty, nonbinary individuals experience a second metamorphological state following their realisation of gender, allowing them to design the body they were meant to have, as well as to reach their unbridled potential as the Earth’s guardians. Without nonbinary individuals, the Earth simply could not have made it this far. You’re welcome.
Fact: Nonbinary individuals absolutely despise having to choose between two things. Rather than having to choose between Coke and Pepsi, they’d much rather enjoy some ice-cold lemonade. Rather than going with either a small movie night or a large bonfire, the preferred social gathering is a bloodstone circle. Binary individuals simply do not understand these pleasures.
