#nonbinarydysphoria

[princepeachspeaks]

I honestly think of my body as a certain way in my head and then am surprised when I look in the mirror and it isn't like that at all.

[rywinlotus]

Sometimes I really wish I could bind, but I also worry about damaging my chest for the times I do want to show off my chest.

[princepeachspeaks]

Body hair realization

A few years ago I stopped shaving body hair in order to feel more androgynous/natural, and also to save time. I've really come to love it, because it feels the most like me. Once in a while I still feel self conscious because it is expected for AFAB people to be hairless (ridiculous beauty standards), but today I read about an even more discomforting reason that we are expected to be that way. Many beauty standards are constructed so that women take on the characteristics of CHILDREN, and that is just straight up creepy. Think about it: youth, hairlessness, petite stature, and innocence have long been considered desirable. It's all part of the infantlization of women, and part of the pedophilia culture that is hardly talked about but is grossly present even in the most mainstream pop culture. Learning about this just makes my stomach turn. Each person should be able to decide what to do with their own body hair, of course there are other reasons a person may prefer to shave or not to shave, and I'll respect anyone's body hair choices. But I for one will feel less embarrassed about my body hair now. After all, I'm an adult! I'd really only want the approval of others who don't care what I do with my body hair anyway. Hair is mature and natural, and it's my preference.

[princepeachspeaks]

All I know is that 8 year old me would have been so overjoyed to know that "nonbinary" is a thing.

When I think of a time of joy in my life, I instantly go back to when I was 8 years old. I'd just gotten the haircut I wanted. I hadn't quite yet started puberty so I was blissfully without that kind of discomfort. I reveled in dressing how I wanted and loving what I wanted and just being me. Then puberty and dysphoria and social pressure and gender roles came along and suddenly everything got so much more difficult. I think that my happiness now has a lot to do with embracing my 8 year old self again. I can still be androgynous. I can still love what I love. I can do my best to not let what puberty did to my body (and the resulting way society perceives me) define me. I'm working so hard to be free of binaries and expectations and I am feeling better. Now that I can recognize all the instances of dysphoria I've had my whole life, I can address that part of my life that always felt "different" or "off". Only I can make the rules for my life.

[princepeachspeaks]

"nonbinary" can look like anything!! the whole point is to be outside the box, not be shoved from one into another

[princepeachspeaks]

Looking at my breasts today literally made me sick to my stomach! Wow. :^)

[princepeachspeaks]

I don't know what it is, but these past few days I've just been so happy with my nonbinary identity. I think it came from Instagram honestly... Seeing other enbies that I relate to so much living their best lives just fills me with pride and hope. For the first time ever, I've been able to see that part of myself in someone else. The dysphoria makes it difficult, as does the lack of mainstream acknowledgement and acceptance. But I'm happy to be me. Being nonbinary is natural and it feels like home. I'm everything and nothing all at once, and I feel free. Thank you to everyone who puts their nonbinary experience out there to give the rest of us hope.

[princepeachspeaks]

Today I got to spend time with some friends who totally accept me for who I am, refer to me as nonbinary like it's the most natural thing in the world, and use my pronouns. It is pretty much the awesomest feeling ever. I'm so happy 💕 I don't really get to experience that anyplace else.