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Geralt: Why don't you ever look any older? Jaskier: I don't like to age. Geralt: What? Jaskier: I don't like to age, so I don't do it. Geralt, now highly suspecting that Jaskier may be much more than a normal human: ...

#the witcher #geraskier #nonhuman jaskier #i think i'm funny

Prompt 140

"What?" Geralt asks, frowning, a furrow in his brow. "I turn into a wolf every full moon." Jaskier repeats. "How-" "You were always away on a hunt. You'd just meet me back in the morning." "...You were a werewolf this whole time?" "..Yes. I- I'm sorry, Darling. I never wanted to lie." "Why didn't you trust me with this? Did you think I would hurt you?" "No! I thought I would hurt you. I'm not myself on full moons, Geralt. I can't even remember them. All I know is that the moon raises, i feel this ache in my bones, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up the next morning, nude, with a full stomach of what is HOPEFULLY nothing gross." "...You've not transformed in towns, have you?" "No! Of course not! I'm terrified of hurting someone, Geralt! That's the only reason I'm telling you now! I got the charts mixed up, I thought the moon was still a week away, but it isn't, and we're near a town, and I need you to keep me restrained." A long pause settles between them. "You want me to guard you?" "Guard them. From me. Keep me trapped in a shack and- And lock it up tight. Chain me, hurt me, knock me out, whatever you must do. Keep me from being a danger. I never wanted to be a terrifying beast, Geralt." Jaskier says, with those damned wet doe eyes of his. Geralt agrees. Because he doesn't know a world where he wouldn't. Mere hours later, Jaskier is sat against a beam in an old rundown barn. He's tied up with rope, and chained on top of that. There are no windows in the barn, the door is fully barricaded and locked, and Geralt guards it. "You really should guard it from outside" Jaskier had said. "I'm not leaving you to do this alone. You never should have had to." Geralt replied. Thus, Geralt stands and watches as Jaskier pales and starts twitching. The moon is rising. "It's coming- I'm going to be a beast." Jaskier says with fear, before the transformation takes the air out of his lungs. Geralt watches in horror and awe as Jaskier's body changes, changes, changes.... In... Into a songbird? sitting on the ground is a fat little songbird. It easily hops over the ropes and chains, now much too lose to hold it. Him. Oh my gods. Jaskier's not a werewolf. He's a... were.... werebird... And not even a scary one. Jaskier starts pecking the barn floor and Geralt rubs a hand over his face in exhaustion. He prepared for the worst, and instead is treated to watching Jaskier struggle to bathe in a trough. "Jaskier, it's too deep." He tells the bird, as it fluffs up it's wings. "Jaskier, you're going to-" Jaskier tries to take a step into the birdbath, only to fall, dunking his whole fat little body into the depths of the trough. He flails about in the water, chirping panickedly. Geralt rushes to his aid, gently lifting him out of the water with gentle hands. Perhaps guarding over Jaskier will still be a challenge after all.

I’m back on my Witcher bullshit again, and I had the thought reading non-human Jaskier stories that it would be hilarious if he was called the Sandpiper because he’s a shifter that becomes a Sandpiper (the bird). As a species they’re known for “flamboyant mating displays” and “abnormal parenting” where they watch the kids while their mates do the defending.

I also think it’s really funny to imagine a bunch of giant witchers trying to guess what he is and it’s just this motherfucker.

#ao3 #geraskier #geraskefer #the witcher #sandpiper #jaskier #jaskier the bard #geralt of rivia #cirilla fiona elen riannon #cirilla of cintra #nonhuman jaskier

Geralt realises that Jaskier's an incubus.

His ability to charm an entire room of people, the way he's always so full of energy after a performance like he's high from feeding on the joy radiating through the room, his revolving door of lovers that seem to care little for their cuckolded spouses in their desire to bed him. Even Geralt himself isn't immune to Jaskier. Every time they're in the same room Geralt feels drawn to Jaskier. He has to restrain himself from reaching out to touch him whenever he's near. He's lost count of how many times he's caught himself staring at Jaskier and had to tear his eyes away from him before he noticed. Jaskier has to be an incubus if even a witcher like Geralt isn't immune to his strong allure, it's the only explanation.

Plot twist, Jaskier's completely human. He's just a charismatic bard who gets adrenaline rushes from performing and Geralt's mistaking himself falling in love as him being magically charmed

#the witcher #the witcher series #geralt of rivia #the witcher jaskier #geraskier #geralt x jaskier #incubus jaskier #nonhuman jaskier #except not really #geralt's just dumb and in love

I need more Geraskefer fanfics with immortal Jaskier- like imagine Jaskier who's an immortal being who's been alive for centuries, and during those times he changes his name and like Yennefer and Geralt are just meeting him over and over again and only realize when Jaskier drunkenly admits it- (Bonus points if Jaskier thinks they already know and just don't talk/ mention it)