#nostalkers

[devilshallcryy]

meh.

[thebearmaiden]

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[imnobodythatyouknow-blog]

Boyfriend Expectations...Too High or Too Low?

Today is a day where I can’t decide if it was a good day or a bad day.  I’m definitely over the crush I had on my shift manager because it turns out that he is a total douchebag.  Then, on top of that I realize that I am looking too much in one direction for a guy when I should be looking for a guy who likes me for me and not something that I can change myself to be.  That brings me back to the original problem of this little stalker who won’t leave me alone.  Sure, I want a boyfriend but I don’t want a stalker.  I came up with a semi-decent number of things that I have to have in a guy mainly from past experience with guys and things that if they had been different would have made the relationship better.  

1) Older than me.  This doesn’t automatically mean that they’re mature, but it kind of helps with the whole life experience thing.  

2) Taller than me.  Any guy that I have ever dated that was shorter than me ended up resenting me for being any kind of taller than him.  

3) Intellectually on the same level as me.  I want to be able to talk to this person about everything without having to dumb myself down just to be able to explain what was going on with whatever I was doing.  Whether I was hanging out with nerds or band geeks.  

4) I don’t want to say dominant but they have to be able to hold their own.  I can’t have someone that isn’t willing to yell and scream at me when I do a bitchy thing.  Or someone who isn’t willing to take the lead with things.  

5) Compassionate.  This is probably the most important because if you don’t have compassion the others are just bullshit that anyone can have.  

These are all things that are have-tos because I just don’t think that I can be in a well-functioning relationship with someone and have it work out.  The relationships I have had I broke off because A) they were cheating on me (3,5) B) they were too clingy and baby like (1,2,3,4) or C) there was no communication from either party about the real problem which was that his ex-girlfriend was still in the picture and he wasn’t over her (3,5).  Sure, it would be nice if they were good looking too but that’s not necessarily a deal-breaker or anything.  I don’t know what I am going to do about this whole boyfriend thing because my expectations are really high and no one I go to school with can live up to any of this...maybe they can if they can get their asses in gear but highly unlikely.  Thoughts?

[beautypageantwinner]

EWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! Why am I all of a sudden getting these!!? GROSS!!! I'm all about posting for my #younique business and pageants and getting new followers and following back but NO THANK YOU!! Back to private again! #noweirdos #nostalkers #getalife #blocked

[uri--sarang]

The perks of being ugly: You don't have to worry about stalkers

[123pika-blog]

Because I Promised... XD

Q_Q Why am I doing thisssss. *sigh* I'm gonna be so embarrassed to the nth degree but... yeah. Omg. I'M DOING THIS BECAUSE OF YOU GUYS, OK. THIS GETS OUT... WELL YEAH. So my perfect guy...

1) It's a huge plus if he has a personality somewhat like el mozo... :) Ok, yeah. So you prob know by now... BUT I REALLY LOVED HIS PERSONALITY. <3 Ahahaha. I guess I kinda crushed on his personality a lot during senior year... I just never really expressed it. And by his personality, this is what I mean: a. I want him to have a sense of humor. Nothing gross please. I want it to come naturally, not forced. I want him to understand my lame corny jokes that I have occasionally. In addition, I want him to joke too. Like, he can make fun of my "valley girl" voice or my super clumsiness or whatever XDD Also... b. I want you to be serious when it comes to serious matters.  Heh. Life isn't full of jokes and games. When there's something we need to discuss whether life threatening or not, I want you to be there when we discuss them. I want you to hear me out. I want you to give me advice. I just want someone who cares about what I'm saying. c. I want some fun competition. When football, basketball, baseball, *insert sport here* season comes around, I want that friendly competition. We can tease each other when our team loses and then we can just joke about it for a while. Ahahaha. Obviously, that means that he needs to like sports :P d. Ahahaha, that perfect height. Yeah, height does matter. I don't want him to be shorter cause it'll just be freakin awkward for me. Although, I don't want him to be crazy tall cause I'll just feel really intimidated. However, his height was just freakin perfect. Like, when Neha and I visited that Friday following graduation, he gave us both a hug. When I hugged him, I just felt this overwhelming sense of... happiness, security, whatever that is. His height was just perfect. So I guess around 5'11"-6'1"? XD e. I want you to share your past life with me and I'll do the same in return. Hehehe. So yeah, I knew a whole crap about el mozo that other students don't know. I want that same feeling from him. I want to know things about him that his coworkers or his friends don't know. I want to be his special one.

2) Although I really loved his personality, there are some things I just don't want from him. Yeah... there were things I just wish I could change. Unfortunately, those aren't under my control. However, I can only wish... a. Age, seriously. Ok, I don't wanna be living with some 55 year old geezer for the rest of my life. He must be at least the same age as me or up to 5 years older than me. I want that age gap to be small so we can share the same technological difficulties together. ;DDD b. Please don't cut me off once someone walks in. Seriously, if I'm talking to you in a public area and one of your buddies comes in and starts talking to you, don't just leave me hanging. The least you can do is either tell me, "Hold on, I'll get back to you in a bit" or tell your buddy to hold on. I kinda expect that latter of that previous sentence since I talked to you first. But I really don't want me to be left hanging. I'll prob feel rejected and disappointed. c. If for some reason we marry and then divorce, please don't talk bad about me. Ok... so maybe el mozo didn't talk bad about his ex-wife but I don't want this to happen to me. Sure, I will prob have some flaws but you have flaws too, buster. This isn't a one sided divorce. But even though the love won't be there, I want the friendship to remain. I want to talk to you even though it will be hard. If I need someone to talk to, I hope you'll still be willing to talk to me.

3) Try to help me escape my personal bubble. Ahahaha. I want him to understand that my personal bubble will not be easy to invade. I want to feel really comfortable around him. Like... really comfortable. 4) Accept my awkwardness. I guess that's kinda a big one since I'm awkward almost all the time. Awkward, weird, freakish, whatever word you want that explains the uniqueness in me. Hell, I was nicknamed Contrary for a reason.

5) The 3 Major "No"s. No smokers. No drug takers. No alcoholics. Please? :D

6) Understand that I may not be Miss Perfect. Sure, I may not be a runway model earning $4.5 million every year or I'm not on the cover of playboy magazine. Hell, I wouldn't even be aiming for that. Accept me for who I am. I don't force myself to be a certain way. I just let life take its toll on me.

7) If you're in love with Twilight, we're done. I don't want you being an Edward Cullen. Ewwww. Just wrong.

8) I wanna do things together... the two of us. Just us. I know we both have our friends but if we're gonna be a couple, we have to do things together. By together, I don't mean going to this romantic spot or restaurant. Hell no. Together as in going to a theme park and riding the most crazy roller coasters. Together as in going to the movies and just enjoying the movie. Together as in... happy stuff. Nothing extreme. 9) When we do things together, PDA is uber minimal. Like seriously. It's goddamn public for crying out loud. Sure, you can take my hand. We can hug. Just don't start pulling off moves that I don't know how the hell I would react.

10) Don't start talking historically/philosophically/anything related to the humanities-ally like I would understand. Seriously. I would not only feel utterly confused and lost but I would also feel incredibly dumb. If you need to, explain it to me please and don't lose your temper. I'm sorry for being so stupid but I really really hate the humanities.

11) I hope you know how to cook cause I obviously don't know how to. XD Yeah. I need to learn. I prob won't learn soon. Hehehe.

12) If I need to rant, I hope you'll be there for me and vice-versa. I want him to be open and willing to express his feelings to me. I know I'll be there fore him... will he?

13) Smart but not a effing genius. Ahahaha. I want him to understand what I'm saying or at least trying to imply. Sure, he may not get a really lame math joke every now and then but I want him to have at least a masters degree or even a Ph.D.

14) When I say no, I mean no. Please don't try to persuade me into doing something I don't want to do. I would hate to argue over something so feeble just because you wouldn't respect my opinion.

15) I want him to be hard-working and dedicated in what he does but not to the point where he's a serious workaholic. I want to spend time with him. I don't want him to be obsessed with work 24/7. It'll probably drive the both of us to insanity.

16) No affairs... seriously. Sure, you'll prob hate me every now and then but it doesn't mean hook up with another woman. Chances are that I'll find out eventually and totally be torn about it. If you seriously stop loving me, tell me. I'll understand. We'll talk out what led to the end of us and if it's reasonable enough, I'll accept it as "the end." Just tell me first before doing anything rash and stupid.

17) I hope you'll accept that I'm not all that emotional. Seriously. If I cry, it's prob really serious or it's something that is really bothering me. Most of the time, I'm really happy... so I hope you'll be happy with me. :)

18) If we ever get into an argument, I want to sit down and talk it out. I don't want the silent treatment for days at a time since I probably won't last. The faster we talk about it, the faster it'll be over and the faster we'll be back to living our normal lives.

19) Most of all, I just want to have fun. I want to joke around with you. I want to laugh constantly over something sooo stupid whether it's about us or our lives. I want to play video games with you or hang out at a theme park. I want to smile whenever I see you. I would love if you shared the same personality as el mozo but hey, I'm not expecting it. I want you to be you because that's the reason why I would fall for you. Basically, I want you. :D