I was a notorious egg for a decade. I thought I had my gender figured out: agender enby, a valid gender identity, but not for me. I was hiding from myself.
I was not good at self actuation, I typically need a push to make scary decisions.
I started joking, and then "joking", about forcefem, partly because of one particularly good girl's posts.
After a while of "it would be really cool if someone gave me hormones", I realised I'm someone. I booked an appointment. My Dr was fantastic. He said I could try estradiol and see if I liked it. It's cheap, it's easy, I didn't need to come out or tell anyone, and it would not cause any irreversible changes unless I kept going for a few months. You can literally just try it out without making any big decisions.
So I started HRT. Then I came out as a girl within a week. It is the most clearly correct decision I have ever made. I feel more alive than ever before. It's hard at times, but life feels worth living.
Jokes, and the idea of someone making the decision for me, made HRT less scary and easier to think about, which may have saved my life.
All of the trans people on this site, especially transfemmes who showed me who I could be, especially @isuggestforcefem:
Thank you.
