listen guys i am like. Thinking About the murderbot show. i'm trying to reserve my snap judgements for when i get to watch it. and let me say the fact that it's being played by alexander skarsgard had me skeptical but i just watched the trailer and ngl the show may be looking GOOD.
BUT. due to the vibe of the trailer (mostly comedic) and the fact that they did need to semi-explain and/or reference the premise for new audiences why the show's name is "murderbot", they included the "it calls itself murderbot" "that was private" moment and it comes off due to music and the way it's cut as very comedic. but i will be highkey disappointed if in the actual show they play that moment for laughs. like i will be Sad. bc that is one of the moments in the entire series that hit me the hardest and i'm just!!!!!!!!
but ratthi and mensah look and feel amazing and i'm excited for the rest of the preservation crowd too so i hope. i hopeeeee that it's gonna be good!! despite the use of that one specific moment the song choice was funny bc it was in fact very mb. (clowns to the left of me jokers to the right here i am stuck in the middle with you 🙄🙄)
There's something very funny about the first lines of Compulsory
It's not like I haven't thought about killing the humans since I hacked my governor module. But then I started exploring the company servers and discovered hundreds of hours of downloadable entertainment media, and I figured, what's the hurry? I can always kill the humans after the next series ends.
(the longer version of the story is the same but with the words rearranged)
Similarities to the opening lines of the first book aside, Murderbot is very aware that the stereotype of rogue SecUnits is that the moment they have free will, they will try to kill all humans. Everything it learned from the education it received and entertainment media reinforces this.
And yet, Murderbot doesn't kill all the humans. Murderbot goes out of its way to not do that and saves people that it couldn't have had it not hacked its governor module. It continues to do its job. This goes against everything it's been taught about itself, and even it concedes that this is kind of weird.
With my governor module inert, I sometimes do things and I'm not entirely sure why. (Apparently getting free will after having 93 percent of your behavior controlled for your entire existence will do weird things to your impulse control.)
But it all makes perfect sense considering why Murderbot chose to hack its governor module in the first place. It didn't care about free will, or being seen as a person, or even watching media. After Ganaka Pit, it believed its governor module was a liability to doing its job, and so it had to go. Murderbot would never have done it if it hadn't liked doing its job already, so of course it's going to keep doing it. Despite everything, Murderbot is a good person, even if it doesn't realize that.
one of my favorite bits is that presaux team did so believably well! i'm a sucker for the 'civilians in danger' tropes, and the show ticked them off perfectly. nobody aside from gurathin even was off their planet before, and while they were all prepared for field work, they were most definitely not prepared for field work with hostile fauna AND murderous corporate goons. add in a curveball of learning that their security robot is neither robot nor obligated to be their security (and i love murderbot to bits, but if you don't have access to its inner narraiton, it's completely shit at communicating anything to anybody ever, actively resents doing so, and from the outside is objectively terrified to be stuck with, at least for a while.)
(actually, the aside here is - personhood doesn't mean, y'know, pacifism or good intentions. murderbot turned out to be a kind of person who would rather nerd out about its soap operas and huddle quietly in the corner, but it's not a secunit thing, it's a murderbot thing. its personality might have just as well turned out to be unhinged, sadistic, vengeful or completely disinterested in their welfare, and there would've been fuck-all presaux could've done about it. it DOES consider murdering them all, even! so there's that.)
and despite all of that - they don't lose their head, they don't turn on each other, the talk through various panic-filled situations, and they keep doing their jobs when there's a call to do their jobs. they might squabble, but they never let it grow into violence or complete splintering; and when murderbot needs them to do things - even terrifying things - and they agree with it, they do them things (up to and including some judicious murder, which i really want to see the fallout of.) they're scared and they're unprepared and they're uncertain, and yet they rally and they do so, so well.
(on the sidenote i just adore that they never let gurathin get away with self-isolating, but they don't force him to be positive or to change his entire personality either. he's clearly Eeyore of the group, depression and snappishness and all, and they love him as it is. and, given some time to catch their breath and to work through some of their assumptions and preconceptions, it's very demonstrably obvious they'll be able to deal with murderbot as it is as well. yesss.)
Drag him! To the depths of hell, or wherever those giant freaky caterpillars/octopuses(?) live!
The level of pettiness I could only aspire to have
I was equally as surprised at this revelation
I thought we were shown that poor SecUnit's head as simply a reminder that the constructs have human faces, but no!
We also had a plan all along!
The awkward way the head was thrown and then was just kinda, stumbling and rolling around had me in stitches
I adore this dude, even tho he's one of the bad gays guys
Just this pure confusion, something jogging a certain memory but you're not sure what yet
Also, it proves that Murderbot is not the only one totally obsessed with Sanctuary Moon. I mean this much is obvious, considering the show has been running for 2,797 episodes, but still
I'd commit a moderate-to-severe crime to take a peek at the fandom situation in this universe
Gurathin immediately clocking the plan
the episode of sassy clap backs
Gurathin-Pin Li duo was never something I thought I needed in my life
Honestly the whole crew works so well with each other, in any combinations imaginable. I saw a post here how, regardless of the disastrous attempt at a polycule and other love-lines happening here, none of the members are affected by the drama once the actual work begins. There is no pettiness or backstabbing or hurt feelings, and I think it's awesome
Dr. Mensah to the rescue!
Again!
I totally get why everybody on PresAux is in love with her at least in some capacity
I probably had the same expression that one time an elderly professor put on a kpop song during an academic get-together in my university
And the fact that he knew the quote too!
Devil's sacrament and all that
If I were a spy (which I'm definitely not), and I had a stealth mission, but then I'd hear someone slandering MY shows and MY blorbos, it would be so over for me immediately
Well. Whatever.
It is gonna hurt
The way Gurathin's face changes upon seeing Murderbot's face
I still don't ship them at all, but I kinda get it
Had yet another health scare earlier this month followed by some unknown upper respiratory virus that took me out. I missed a full week of work, which is extra shitty right now because this week happens to be spring break! Which means I won't be getting work hours this week.
Which in turn means I'll be down a full paycheck this month.
Not good.
To make it even worse, I had to close my shop last week because I was basically sleeping all day and didn't have the mental capacity to pack orders at the time. I'm catching up on past orders now, but I had to repurchase shipping labels because the ones I'd purchased just before getting sick all expired and there's no guarantee Etsy will refund the cost of the defunct labels.
So. Yeah.
To try and recoup some of that lost income, I'll be holding a sale on my Etsy shop for the week of March 15-21, featuring a rare 25% off on anything in my shop. This includes my Project Hail Mary Preorder shaker keychains.
I also have Murderbot, Fallout, robot/tech/mech lover, and space exploration merch in addition to other Project Hail Mary items.
If you're not in a place to order anything (or nothing I have strikes your fancy!) no worries! But please consider reblogging this post or any of my merch posts under my tag #shop talk to spread the word. I'd really appreciate it! 👉🏼👈🏼
if ur a murderbot nerd now do u have any fun opinions abt it yet?
Oh my goddd you have no idea
I really, really, really like Murderbot because it comes at life with this perspective we don't often see that is very real among people who have already been through traumatic experiences, who developed skills and abilities to suvive that were once useful but no longer have context- that search that traumatized people go through to recalibrate and reorient ourselves in a world where we no longer really need those things to survive.
A bit personal here, but my own issues personally involved a lot of psychological abuse that made it difficult to trust my own perceptions of reality, and as a result I found I was very easy to lie to and manipulate.
To handle this, I became obsessive over writing things down, cataloging details and making notes of things as they happened- I'd carry recording devices and make audio recordings and stay up late at night to transcribe what they'd picked up, read those over and over again to reassure myself of things I wasn't certain about.
While doing this, there were others close to me that I felt responsible for, who I had to protect from others and protect myself from at the same time. Life was about two things: Evidence, and defusing threats
Over time, I learned to trust myself as my memories matched what had been recorded where their narrative didn't, but I never really kicked the habit. Like Murderbot, I had added something to my own programming that reassured me I was safe, that I was in control of myself, that I couldn't be mistaken or crazy or broken or used.
I'm only on book two, but already I see myself in Murderbot again. No spoilers here, but when I left home- left that dangerous context- I didn't need to repeat these patterns to survive anymore, but I still did, because I didn't know anything else anymore. It felt safe, comfortable, knowing knowing that the past couldn't repeat itself, because I'd written that flaw- blind trust in myself- out of my programming and replaced it with something else.
Still, though, I'd become something specially suited to thrive in a very specific environment. Nothing else felt right like followinghigh-risk situations, like witnessing and watching and recording and knowing I had proof of the truth where others might not.
People took notice. I wound up in security by accident, but's an environment that I thrive in due to the same patterns and behaviours I originally developed when I had no other choice. I climbed the ladder pretty quickly, once supervisors caught on that my reports were the most accurate, most objective, most factual, detail-oriented and timely. I keep others and myself safe and prioritize public safety above all else, and I perform well under pressure
Now I'm in a position where I often wonder, do I enjoy this job, or is it just what I'm good at? I have a set of skills now, but do I have the option of choosing not to use them? What would I be, if not this? Could I be anything else?
Can Murderbot be anything else?
It has a set of skills that set it apart, make it different, special. It does what it knows best. But is it free? Does it want to be? What does it want? Does it have to do what it was built to do? What if it didn't?
I know what I'm good for. The idea of deliberately leaving what I'm good for for something uncertain, that I might hate, that I might be useless at- the choice to give up what was so important to me for so long and become deliberately obsolete?
Let go of my entire purpose? The only thing I know, that I fit so well into but don't actually know if I enjoy? Now that I can choose? Now that enjoyment is a luxury I can afford to consider?
Yeah, that resonates.
I like the Murderbot series so far because it feels the way I feel: Like the most significant and formative part of my story, the part where I became what I am, has already happened
And now I have to just. Keep going
Into... what?
It feels absurd. Like a microwave giving up on reheating food and deciding to start a life around abstract dance.
So, uh. Yeah. It's really very wild to see this same philosophical-ish dilemma I've been digging over in the back of my mind and in therapy for the last forever laid out so plainly in a genuinely exciting and enjoyable story like this. I feel much less alone, and I... kind of really need to see how it resolves, I think.
I just read through your last year of reviews and I think we have pretty similar tastes but you read far more than I do. Do you have any science fiction recs? Also what are your reading goals for next year?
Going to answer these in opposite order, since the one is shorter than the other!
Reading Goals
I don't have many of these! My town is doing book bingo again this year, so I'll look to do a blackout on that card, that's a nice steady reading goal to have and quite good for broadening some horizons. Other than that, I might go back to finding epistolary books I haven't read that appeal to me? There were at least a few I didn't get to last year that I can take a stab at, even if having the same goal over again feels like cheating.
Overall, I just really hope to find some books that sweep me away this year, I was tragically short on those last year, and judging from my post, the year before as well. I want to get deep into something!
Science Fiction
If you want great action and a great narrative voice, there's a reason everyone's so obsessed with Martha Wells's Murderbot series, and if you haven't read them, they're so great and you should. (I still haven't finished watching the show, but it seems like a bit of a Howl's Moving Castle situation to me, so if the show doesn't work for you the books still might.)
If you're a romance reader and/or love marriage politics, Winter's Orbit by Everina Maxwell (tumblr's own @avoliot) is a joy of a read, and Ocean's Echo in the same universe is also absolutely worth your time.
Some Desperate Glory by Emily Tesh is a strange and deeply angry book, but I was really enthralled by it even if I haven't been brave enough for a reread.
For personal-level stakes and light action, Becky Chambers is an author to check out, the Wayfarers series in particular.
If you want worldbuilding, there's a reason Ursula K. LeGuin is widely considered a master of the genre. I haven't read her whole Hainish Cycle yet, but everything I have read is worth the hype and thought-provoking. Also, a really underrecommended author, if you want really deeply worldbuilt politics, C.J. Cherryh might be for you, her books don't move fast but they're really interesting, try Foreigner on for size if that sounds tempting.
If you want a little breadth on what the genre is currently doing, I read a good collection last year, New Adventures in Space Opera ed. Jonathan Strahan, and most authors in there also have sci fi novels so if someone's writing style appeals, there's likely more from them. I can personally vouch for Arkady Martine and Ann Leckie's full-length books. Oh, and Aliette de Bodard SO much! If you want sapphic sci fi and living spaceships you must read some de Bodard. Just mentioning this collection has made me remember that I want to try some Seth Dickinson based off his short story in it.
I haven't read a ton of the classics--some Bradbury short stories, but I've not really done Phillip K. Dick or Heinlein or any Asimov at all. I've read Dune but didn't enjoy it, and if you're tempted to pick up Kim Stanley Robinson's Mars trilogy, I would gently counsel you against it.
I feel like I'm recommending all the Trendy Sci Fi from the last couple years, I don't really have any more indie recs other than thinking more people need to read Cherryh, but that's what I've got for you tonight!
It's been a second since I've done a more analysis-style post, but I'm feeling quite excited post-episode 7 and I wanna get my thoughts out there. There's a lot I could get into, so I'm only going to focus on a few parts.
Warning for TV spoilers and an image of a decapitated head.
Before watching this episode I made a post stating the following:
also also. i feel like the point about bharadwaj being attacked at the beginning of the show where it has to be asserted that “it wasn’t a monster, its just an animal doing what animals do” is interesting as well… hm I see so its more difficult for the team to maintain objectivity and/or sympathy when they feel directly threatened or fearful. i wonder what parallels could be drawn from that!
Indeed, this episode acknowledges the immediate aftermath of the team seeing Murderbot, well, murder. It's one thing to know a SecUnit can kill versus seeing (and feeling, in the case of those getting sprayed with blood) a SecUnit kill. And like I point out in that post, they are now struggling to maintain their objectivity and sympathy. Where once, humanity (and I use this word purposefully) was easy to grant Murderbot, it is now creating a new set of problems for the characters... now they're forced to ask: why would a person (meaning human) do this? why would a person (human) not understand the gravity of this? (how much of a person is it really?)
The issue with that line of thinking is that they haven't managed to separate human from person. Because Murderbot is not a human, it is a construct. It see itself as a construct, it likes having its armor on, it likes having guns in its arms, it likes being strong and it doesn't like a lot of things it deems as "human" things. It's the team that wants to see Murderbot as a human rather than a person, and Murderbot can't be a human, not even if the crew repeats it over and over again.
Murderbot, obviously, is mostly frustrated that the team doesn't understand that violence is necessary here. It points out that Dr. Mensah was willing to kill a SecUnit, that's basically the same thing. Dr. Mensah... acquiesces but I wonder if she's truly grappled with the personhood of constructs. I say this, because, similarly to the previous episode ending on Leebeebee's decapitation, this episode ends on the decapitation of a SecUnit.
The difference being that Leebeebee's body was looked upon with horror and ongoing grief, but the SecUnit is looked upon as an eliminated threat. Or rather, it's barely even glanced at!
Whereas Leebeebee has remained a constant horror, that they've been replaying through their minds, delaying their own escape/safety as they think about her death and frustrating Murderbot when it just wants them to move onto the next self-preserving move, the SecUnit's death is forgettable.
When a human dies, they struggle to prioritize their immediate safety, because how could they? But when a SecUnit dies and, say, one of their crew faints, they are immediately prepared to prioritize his immediate safety.
For Murderbot, there is no difference between the death of a dangerous human or a dangerous construct. But for the humans, they have not yet grappled with this difference.
So they ascribe personhood to Murderbot, but they are not truly prepared for what it means to consider Murderbot, and associated constructs, a person. And Murderbot may be forced to wade through the consequences of this.
I also want to note this moment:
She's accusing Murderbot of not caring about the team, but, functionally, is enforcing the idea that humans are the priority (to be mourned, to be saved, to be sympathized with) and that Murderbot is solidly the outlier.
Because, look, we (meaning Preservation Alliance and accidentally implying humans) take care of each other! And you, Murderbot?
You kill people, including your own (meaning humans you should care about and accidentally implying constructs you're the same as).
What an amazing episode to show that the crew is not yet prepared to understand Murderbot! And Murderbot, despite how it will probably feel justified in thinking these humans are irrational, continues to deeply crave a chance to have... something. I'm sure it hasn't figured it out, yet. There's a reason why it showed its face when Mensah insisted. It didn't have to, but it chose to.
And to top this off, I'd like to acknowledge this bit I wrote yesterday:
i feel like the point about bharadwaj being attacked at the beginning of the show where it has to be asserted that “it wasn’t a monster, its just an animal doing what animals do” is interesting as well...
The animals make another appearance as well! Look at me, making well-timed observations. And this episode, the animals do what animals do. They fulfill their instincts and mate and lay eggs. And then, they protect their eggs from those that have harmed them, through what they've determined is the easiest route to safety, by killing and eliminating the threat.
