#not positive

[owlgams]

more and more as I get older I just don't feel justified in calling myself a creative person anymore. I don't feel like an artist. maybe my grasp on concepts is shifting? I'm not sure.

younger people are appearing and they have so much more to offer than I think I could anymore. I feel I'm on autopilot now, just working and paying the bills; there isn't room for expression, and I haven't got anything new to express.

believe it or not, I'm less depressed than I was, but I tied so much of my identity to being an artist that now the concept of it for me is fading, I feel adrift.

my sense of self feels weird and misty. I'll keep drawing because I enjoy it and because its how I earn a living, but it doesn't need to feel so heavy and so important, perhaps

[netscapenavigator-official]

Love that Shinigami Eyes started marking transmisogynists red and sometimes you'll just stumble across someone who's like,

"Ugh! I know I'm marked wrong on Shinigami Eyes! You guys, I'm literally trans! I don't know why I'm marked that way!"

Like we do, babe. We know why.

[churrochamp]

us trying to play hockey

them trying to... blind our star players now, i guess

[luciblook]

context:

Netflix's Devil May Cry Creator Promises He'll Tackle Another Major Game Franchise

Adi Shankar is prepared to take on a new video game franchise after Devil May Cry's debut. 

[borderlinereminders]

I actually really want an outside point of view. But also to share my side.

There’s a user posting a lot of bad stuff about me. Like a lot. I try and let this stuff go and not engage on this platform. I’m not posting their username publicly because I am still trying to respect their privacy but if anyone does see the posts, I want my side to be out there.

I run a trauma survivors discord server. In the server, I try and manage everyone’s comfort as best as I can.

I had more than one person approach me about feeling uncomfortable at the frequency this user tried to get other members to DM and how pushy it came across as.

Me and the other mods understood that this likely didn’t come from a bad place but from being lonely so we weren’t mad. Genuinely. But if I have multiple people feeling uncomfortable, I feel I need to act on it. No one approached me publicly in the server so no one knew someone else had approached me. The people approaching me didn’t know anyone else had approached me so this wasn’t a thing where people just started agreeing and piling on.

So, I sent this message (privately through a ticket system)

The things being said because of this message have me second guessing myself. And I’m just tired.

I understand that they are feeling attacked and I so remember how it felt when I was in a really bad place and I would have felt really upset about getting this message too. But I still don’t think the amount of harassing is justified by them or the things they are saying about me are okay.

I really don’t usually post about drama but my other urge was to delete my blogs because I am just so tired. And I realized that urge was coming because I felt like I couldn’t defend myself. Like I had to be the “bigger” person and that’s something I struggled with a lot growing up. Being quiet to protect other people.

So, here’s my side of the story.

Edit: the user has now taken down the posts about me and apologized. I am leaving this up though because it does not identify them at all and I don’t trust stuff not to get out of hand again. It feels like it protects me a bit.

[bryonyashaw]

Two sides of my personality

[straight-positivity]

sometimes being straight feels like being a werewolf. there's a beast within me