#not trek

[dinoidiot]

Apparently too sick to come in to work still means I have to come in and "make up" the time. Which fine, I hate admin but fine. Except it's my literally only free weekend in a month. Fuck.

[a-most-beloved-fool]

I've become more and more #repressionpilled lately and it's making it. SO hard to get characters to do anything. I'm yelling at the page like kiss, damn you!! but nooooo, they accidentally brush pinkies and then have to go sit with their head in their hands for a minimum of five hours while they grapple with the mortifying reality of Having Emotions.

[dinoidiot]

Hour 13 of the shift is crazy cause you're tired and bored enough you start considering all type of bat-shit crazy things like "actually if I throw myself down a flight of stairs I could get a sprain bad enough they send me home" or "I can see a tree if I stand on exactly the precise spot from this hole in the window cover" or the even more fun "I'm not even halfway there someone please put me out of my misery"

[illegalpaladin]

I've been mia on here recently, but I still exist! I started adhd meds recently. They've been absolutely life changing, including giving me the ability to do things that aren't doomscroll lmao. I've been doing artfight, and I've been working on some cool Fandom things.

I think my writing is getting better because I can actually focus on what words I'm saying, but it's also suffering in the sense that I'm not writing as quickly because I'm doing it less lol. Worried about finishing my mirror fic on time 😬 but we'll see.

But yes! Things are going well for me 💖 and I still exist, I promise.

[idontwanttoboldlygo]

This is starting to be pathological :/

[dinoidiot]

It's so weird how no one who cares about you cares about what you want?

Like everyone in my family knows I hate my name. Even if they don't know about my gender or whatever everyone knows I despise both my names but not once have they wanted to use a nickname or a preferred name or anything. It's just no one in your family really cares about how you feel or what makes you comfortable or what you want in your own life.

This isn't about gender but also it very much is and I can't really put it into words the way I wish I could.

[idontwanttoboldlygo]

Too many people at home for too long :(( I need some solitude and silence