#not txf

[lesbianscxlly]

people will make hannibal seem stronger and smarter than will as if the whole show wasn’t about them being perfect equals😒😒

[venascus]

Not to discount the “taxi, she gets around” joke from witchlight but oh my GOD the “hot cross buns, hot cross buns, see how they run, see how they run” joke from uprooted had me giggling at work! Has me giggling now!

Thank you legends of avantris crew for this new horrible horrible song I will be singing forever

xoxo gossip girl

[scullysbagelbites]

Pinterest report!!!!

The post:

The comments:

.

we can’t even put babies in bags anymore..,..Because of woke. 😔

[samanthamulder]

MIDNIGHT MASS — Book III: Proverbs

[ariverofsongs]

[enigmaticxbee]

[sigritandtheelves]

guys i wrote a 500 word The Office fic for my students. it’s not TXF but it’s very silly and it was fun to write, set at the beginning of season 3 

I Feel God in this Chili’s Tonight

“Pamela-shamela-ramela,” Michael Scott drummed his index fingers on the edge of the reception desk. “You ready for your Dundee tonight? Hottest receptionist?” He winked.

“Oh,” she said. “No, I told you I can’t go.”

Michael stood up straight. This was news to him. “Pam,” like she was an idiot, “you have to go. It’s the Dundees. Everybody has to go.” His hands were on his hips.

“I can’t.”

At the seriousness of her expression, Michael became conspiratorial. He moved in, leaned over the desk. “Is this because of Jim? Is it because Jim’s not here?”

Face reddening, Pam shook her head. “No.”

“Because of Roy? Toby? Is it Ryan?”

“No, Michael, I’m not allowed in the Chili’s.”

Michael’s mouth fell open, and he tilted his head in confusion. “What are you talking about.”

“Because of last year.”

“The Dundees went great last year.”

Pam couldn’t help but smile, remembering. “Yeah. They did. But I guess I had a little too much fun because I drank a lot and then they told me I couldn’t come back.”

“You,” he said. “Pam Beasley. You got kicked out of the Chili’s.”  

She shrugged.

Again, he looked shocked, stricken. “God, if I could never eat at Chili’s again, I’d kill myself.”

Pam nodded. “Yeah. It’s pretty bad.”

She watched determination set in on Michael’s features as he thought of something. “Okay, that’s it. You’re coming anyway.”

“What?”

Michael turned to the sales desks. “Ryan, I need you to go get me two boxes of hair dye and a slutty dress.” He turned back—“Pam, what’s your size?”

“What? Michael, no.”

“Yes! We’re going to put you in disguise, your new name is Paaa—tricia. Patricia Measley. And you’re a brunette.”

“Michael, I’m not dying my hair.”

Ryan hadn’t moved from his desk, but had swung around to face them. Dwight, however, was on his feet. “Michael, I can do this. Pam, your shoe size is eight and a half, right?”

“How do you know that?”

“Dwight, sit down, I asked Ryan.”

Ryan’s eyebrows were up in his hairline, but he still hadn’t moved.

“Michael, why don’t you just have the Dundees at a different restaurant?” This from Phyllis.

“What? No! No. It has to be Chili’s.”

“What about a wig?” Dwight asked. “I bet Oscar has wigs.”

“That sounds homophobic,” Phyllis added.

“Okay! I got it,” Michael said. “Wear that slutty top you tried on in the office last week and we’ll get you a hat and glasses. Dwight, give her your glasses.”

Pam’s face had fallen into her hands and she was shaking her head. Angela and Kevin had stood up to see what was happening.

“It did work for Clark Kent,” Dwight said, pulling off his glasses. “Try them on.”

—

In the end Pam attended the Ninth Annual Dundees in her regular cardigan, with her natural hair color, which Kelly had pulled back into a bun at lunch. Phyllis let her in through the back door of the restaurant ten minutes into the “ceremony.” None of the waiters or hostesses noticed.

[ellivia]

Y’all I am so excited for this album. It sounds like it’s gonna be different from what they’ve put out before, but it still sounds like them.