#not understanding

[nobeerreviews]

I would stare at the grains of light suspended in that silent space, struggling to see into my own heart. What did I want? And what did others want from me?

-- Haruki Murakami

(Kyoto, Japan)

[do0medcontrolled]

Okay how do yall have time for a romantic life?

[hel7l7]

Why did you do that?

[unforgivenemo]

it’s not enough to be just unhappy anymore

[quietflorilegium]

“Tris, miles away, watched as a tiny sun shone and faded where a lump sank into her palm. Instant warmth spread from it like wildfire, easing some of the aches in her newly healed bones. “Every time I think I understand magic, I learn that I don’t understand anything at all,” she murmured, and looked at Ambros with a broad smile. “I like that.”

Tamora Pierce, "The Will of the Empress"

[someonetookmygender]

Hey! I love your humans are weird aliens posts, and was wondering if you had any ideas on weird ways aliens try to flirt with humans that just seem like regular/weird/maybe even slightly offensive things to humans and the alien doesn’t understand their reactions to??

Now whilst yes this would be a very fun trope to read I would say that it would be less likely to happen. As we know there are many alien species and planets all with their own rich history and cultural values and standards. This means that most aliens are used to the idea of different cultures and most of the time will have some basic knowledge of what is acceptable or not. And because culture is ever changing and takes influence from everything it could be harder to keep up. But...

When it comes to cultures we have such huge and rich culture from everywhere and each country holds its own standards. Yes there are some similarities between different countries, most of the time there are things that are very specific to the area. Aliens would have to learn even more about the ways humans flirt as it varies from person to person.

I would say some aliens would crack very bad jokes that are unappealing towards the person like self deprecating jokes or dad jokes or even very bad puns. It would be very awkward to see that even with other humans. Other aliens could easily be to straight forward creating that vibe of being too forthcoming which would mean the human would have to accept or decline. ANother way would be aliens just being creepy because they have no sense of how humans flirt and thier doing it the way they normally would.

An example of this is Xa'oq from the planet Spinwa where giving the testicles of an ex is considered romantic ( as you can tell, very violent culture :D ) with Human Jane being very creeped out by this and having to explain very carefully why it's wrong.

Or Kara'ne'qap from the Kurn Sector, being super straightforward and logical which creates the awkward situation of politely having to say yes because Kara'ne'qap is very overeager too.

So yeah, humans would find some cultures from the aliens strange but most would accept the differences and still find love.

[nearlyentertainment]

Recent examples of me not understanding people

So, that whole interaction I started to feel bad about insulting @adurot. I knew he was fine... probably... he's not actually upset, right?... Let me just message him on discord in a friendly manner, so he knows I'm not actually being mean... Okay, cool. He doesn't seem upset... I think.

Anyway, I always have to double check with myself to make sure I'm not screwing up somehow.

TL;DR below - I might be autistic. Here's some stuff on my mind.

Another time: I was telling my sister that I took this lady home from work and that she reminded me of her. Her personality seemed similar and she was very talkative with other passengers. I'm an airport shuttle driver, by the way. But she would talk and just the pitch of her voice hurt my ears. I was wincing in the driver's seat and very uncomfortable. She wasn't screaming or yelling, just naturally very loud and friendly. I was not enjoying that ride. My sister took this to mean I was saying she was super annoying and called me rude for it. They were two different facts, but just happened to be from the same person.

I think I might be a little autistic, not just anxious. I asked my doctor for a test and they referred me to some other place that responded with "your insurance won't cover it, but it will go toward your deductible. The test is $2500." So that was an instant NOPE. I told my sister I might be autistic and she said "I can see you being on the spectrum." My friend said "Honestly, sometimes you say things that would definitely fit with you being autistic."

A quick "signs you might be autistic" search on the googly said

finding it hard to understand what others are thinking or feeling.

getting very anxious about social situations.

finding it hard to make friends or preferring to be on your own.

seeming blunt, rude or not interested in others without meaning to.

finding it hard to say how you feel.

(X) taking things very literally – for example, you may not understand sarcasm or phrases like "break a leg"

having the same routine every day and getting very anxious if it changes

(X) not understanding social "rules", such as not talking over people

avoiding eye contact

getting too close to other people, or getting very upset if someone touches or gets too close to you

noticing small details, patterns, smells or sounds that others do not

having a very keen interest in certain subjects or activities

liking to plan things carefully before doing them

and I find all of these except the (X) ones to be true. Well, I don't know what other social rules I might be breaking, but I don't talk over other people and tend to stop talking when someone talks over me and get lost in the background. And I like to plan things, but I'm fine with being spontaneous sometimes.

I also have ADHD and that messes with me too. I actually forgot I had ADHD for a long time before it suddenly came back to me one day. I don't even remember what triggered the memory. I was also diagnosed with depression in middle school from a therapist. Fucking hated that dude. I can't feel safe talking to a therapist because of him. And talking about my other mental health problems, I'm trans too. Depression has diminished since I came out, both to myself and people around me, though it hasn't gone away. Like, I wanna be a girl, but I can't convince myself that I would make a good one, and call myself they/them instead. "Maybe 'she' if I'm feeling pretty." This day has not come. Though I have one discord group calling me she/her and it feels good. I just never corrected them into saying they/them. Sometimes it feels like lying.

Anyway, I've rambled enough. If you read all that, good for you. I would have lost interest a while ago. Thanks for that. Feel free to say hi. I cannot guarantee that I will be able to hold a conversation or keep in touch, but I like to meet new people. I'm not good at reaching out either.