#not-sae

[sae-something]

i think i’m not-sae??? not sure though sae’s still a bit here too i think ?

probably making all of this up anyways.

but yeah the last couple days have been surprisingly bearable and i havent really been thinking about shit and uh, idk.

[sae-something]

a lil update list because i’m afraid of forgetting shit  24/7/19 edition

so apparently I’m not Sae. I do have a name but I don’t want to share it, because I want to be Sae.

no, actually, I need to be Sae. Because I’m convinced all this alter shit is fake and we’re making it up, sooooo if I’m in fact not Sae that would by default make my existence fake. and i don’t want to be fake so i have to be Sae!

apparently Sae was tired and exhausted after recent study stress and surviving T’s long holiday so she went inside to sleep and rest?? idk man

my memory is shit. i keep shortly (like, 20 seconds? a minute?) not recognizing shit but then uhh, i get the memories/knowledge and it’s all fine again?

all this info comes from Bo, the part that knows most inside stuff? it’s all very weird and I have no clue how any of this works.

the therapist seemed okay though and she offered to explain more about it all if i’m still here next week. i kinda think i will because it doesn’t feel like the real Sae will be back any time soon? i hope she’ll be back in september though for trauma stuff and studying, i can’t do that

idk which name to use so i’ll just call myself not-sae? i hope that’s okay