I’m not going to die because I failed as someone else. I’m going to succeed as myself.
A part of my life that I wish to share, those who know me and who don’t, it won’t really matter. People often consider me weak and that I get emotional easily, and some think its immaturity to cry and easily get hurt and that I haven’t been strong enough emotionally to handle what life has to give me. I couldn’t figure out where my life has been heading since the past 6 years, I was given a false hope and made me believe that I had a life to decide for myself but I guess it was all a lie that I have been dealing till now and the life that I was given a hope for, all it meant was people will decide for me and based on their decision I may live my life but I guess I was never given a choice and decision ever for deciding for my own life. The silence that I had been carrying for all this time sometimes enrages within me and makes me want to start a new life all alone. Some closed ones have changed to such an extent that my thoughts and feelings doesn’t match their principles, even talking to them makes me want to run away somewhere but I can’t. The promises have never remained as what meaning it actually holds, it’s just a word that is said but it keeps breaking every now and then and the next thing you come to know is, the entire people in the surrounding knows what you went through but the reality is no one comes to comfort you. A struggle, heartbreak and betrayal is just a topic for the family and society to discuss about but no one is willing to understand and no one wants to comfort you like your own.
Some close people turn into a stranger, the honesty of mine is not accepted anywhere but a lie filled up with false hope is always believed without any evidence. The honesty is doubted and the lies are praised and believed at, but certain people do not understand that why create or say a lie at the first place despite knowing that it isn’t right?
Some love stories at a young age is considered grand and true, but an honest love and feelings is considered and divided based on upper and lower standards of the family and background. Supporting someone else’s marriage and their feelings is understood with so much concern and emotions but to understand a feeling of your own family member is something that others may want to decide rather than seeing and asking the person herself. People often say we have given our child the freedom to decide for their own future but no one dares to check the reality of how this future is decided, the decision and agreement of the child is never asked but the family themselves decide as people say, marriage is a matter of lifetime and needs to be decided by the elders, but what’s the guarantee that the marriage and the decision taken by them will always end positive and for a lifetime without having it decide by the bride and groom themselves?
Many family dream of royal and high standard husband to have their daughter get married to, there is no limit of dreaming but the reality is, find someone who is royal and have standard in his deen rather than the temporary materialistic thing that will keep both the bride and the groom happy and supportive just because of materialistic value that they accepted each other for, but who guaranteed materialistic things to last forever? When Deen and its knowledge enters us, there’s so many things that gets solved, be it wealth, house, family and many more.
To be continued …
