My (kinda sarcastic/ironic) thoughts on TROS...for those with difficulties approving of the TROS movie
I usually don’t write my thoughts down like this. But after seeing TROS yesterday (a movie I waited two years for), I just needed to get this out.
I am really disappointed in the movie. In my opinion the story deserved a different ending.
Everytime I am fed up with stuff, I try to find the joke in the situation... and that somehow helps me to cope with everything life throws at me.
So perhaps the following lines will help my fellow heartbroken Reylo’s in their hours of sorrow, too ;-)
- Rey is a Palpatine. And you know what I just realised?
Rey shares the ultimate PALPATINE GENE: a.k.a. the hoarding gene.
Howevever unlike Rey grandpa Palps scavenged old death star ships together- so Rey couldn’t completely live up to his legacy...
- Lando can become the ultimate sugar daddy now that he has found Jannah (perhaps she can even teach him how to ride)
- Finn and Poe are officially the gayest and loveliest couple in the galaxy. I wonder why Rose didn’t become jealous?
- The Skywalkers are all dead. Thank you for watching.
Well didn’t they honeydick us a few weeks ago with speculating about Rey’s new name (we Reylo’s all heard the wedding bells ring)?
- We could rename the movie in “The guy with unrequitted love follows the selfish chick”. She even stabbed him for force’s sake!
- In the end what hurt me the most in the whole movie (and this I mean unsarcastically) was that Rey saw Leia’s and Luke in the end. And not Kylo/Ben. This somehow made me realise that the love between Kylo and Rey was kind of one-sided (even though they kissed).
Rey’s quest in the movie was to solve her family bullshit and nothing else mattered to her. In the end she choose a family herself, but not for the love of her dead soul/bondmate, but for her Jedi masters.
As a conclusion: congrats JJ - you made it on my all-time enemy list.
I hope we can all laugh in a few days/years/decades about this.
Thank you for reading this crack :-*