#notsureanymore

[vonseiten]

Marea Alta, 1060 Vienna, Live Stage Projection on Art | Pencil, Red Wine, Drinks and ... "billion to look this". Perfect moment for taking the shot. Who needs grammar when cool. www.vonSeiten.com

[iamwendzy]

One of the most famous line of #chesterbennington #cani #wouldi #notsureanymore https://www.instagram.com/p/B3nn6vdBU6VxSDgBj6hEa8b3u3MWhNt5PQX0vc0/?igshid=1j2rwx02i3r1j

[relunch]

Brandon's. #Notsureanymore.

[thislittlesecretsociety]

Random thoughts

Awhile ago I did one of those stupid Facebook etests, on the great tragedy in my life and the result of it was that I had been betrayed greatly by my friends and that because of that I didn't trust very easy and learned to do things myself. It was so true... I never expected a stupid test on Facebook to hit so close to home. A long time ago I was betrayed by my best friend, she pretended to hate me so she could be popular, she never personally said anything hurtful to me but she would stand idly by while I got beat up or yelled at by girls who were "popular"... it only lasted for 2 weeks but I was 8 at the time and the damage was done. I didn't fully trust her, or anyone else, again for a long time... the same theme repeated itself throughout my life, 6th grade, 8th grade, freshmen year, sophomore year, senior year, when I broke up with Nate and then again when I got divorced from my ex husband. I have an exceptionally hard time trusting people... there's a handful of people I trust wholeheartedly and even those people I have the expectation (that I hope they won't fulfill) that they will someday betray me. I do, however, trust people to a certain extent. I trust that people know how to do their jobs if they've been at a place for long enough, I trust that my parents love me and my kids, I trust certain things from people that mostly make sense... but the thing is, is when I trust someone to help me (i.e. Help me making some fluid bags at the hospital correctly.) it ALWAYS blows up in my face. It pushes me to this weird state of distrust where I almost think I got set up for failure and that they would intentionally hurt someone else if it meant causing me harm. Now, logically, I KNOW how crazy that sounds, but I can't shake that feeling. I hate not being able to trust anyone, I hate not being able to talk to anyone, I hate not being able to describe the feeling without sounding like I'm absolutely crazy, which, undoubtedly I am... I felt like something was off when she helped me with the iv bags, I felt like she set me up back then but I couldn't figure out what she did and I was like "wow she's actually trying to be a nice person and help me" but it turns out my instinct was right... and she almost killed someone... and now we're both in trouble and even though everyone says it was an accident, I think I would feel better if I felt like she hadn't done it intentionally to try to get rid of me... it makes me sick to my stomach. I don't even know what to do... I want to trust people, and I try to, but every time I start to, they show me why I shouldn't. And I don't know how to fix my feelings about it.

[mr-dylan]

Whenever I see my brother I can't help but feel like I've taken 1000 steps backwards - nothing bad happened tonight as such no arguments or anything - it's just I realised how far apart we have grown and how I can't even remotely relate to him or his lifestyle. It's quite sad but I don't think I really need to see him anymore. I was anxious all day about meeting up and when it happened I just wanted to go home. And now I'm home I have a bunch of internalised transphobia and don't wanna move for a week. I think it is definitely damaging to see him. I hope we can move past this but I fear it is already too late.

[legsanddreads]

ARE YOU HAVING A LAUGH?!?!? Another shocking rugby match from Scotland! well done boys...well done! 🏉 #rugby #scotland #match #lost #shocking #sadtimes #ridiculous #sixnations #backingblue #notsureanymore

[justryaneffendy-96]

Sorry

To be honest,I'm glad you don't follow me here........this place is like a sanctuary to me,a place where opinions won't be judged and just remain as that. I'm actually unsure why I kept you as my "best friend' all this while,aren't best friends suppose to share everything but it always seems like I'm the one finding out things for myself rather than you telling me.Actually I really had thoughts of giving up in this so called "best friends" thing but then again I always convince myself "it's all gonna be worth it,if you could stay for 3 years why can't you stay a little longer and wait for happy moments to come and good memories to be made ?" but then again..................................never mind *smiling while being torn on the inside*

[cmdr-heart-eyes]

Confused in the worst way

Is it sad that you are the one thing I want and need? Not even just a relationship, I just need your friendship and we haven't talked all day. Yes I love you, but I miss the talks we had about anything and everything that could make me feel like it's okay to be the way I am and that it's okay for me to feel the way I do about things. And even though I'm trying to move on and forget the memories and pretend like it never happened, it eats me up inside and I feel so guilty because I don't even have anything to offer anyone anymore. I gave you all of me, you caught me in my free fall, and then threw me to the ground. Then you send me things saying you love me and that that hasn't changed and I feel like you're just stomping on my heart to watch me writhe in my pain and self loathing for loving you no matter what you do and say to me. And still, all I want is to wake up and this all be a dream. Maybe I'm just stupid for all of this. I don't even know.