#nox journal

[swapfell-haven]

Nox’s Journal

Entry #2.

Heyyyy Journal, long time no see. I probably shouldn’t put you down for over a week if I’m gonna make this a habit, huh…?

Woops. Sorry about that.

Excuse time:

… honestly, I forgot for a couple days.

It’s just not routine, you know? It feels… weird, taking this time to myself, pretty unnatural if I’m being honest. Which, I mean, you are my journal, there’s no point in lying to you unless I feel like lying to myself.

Anyways, then I got guilty about it for a couple days, put it off longer…

… The reason I came back now, though?

Gyftmas is finally over.

We always hunker down for the week around it - Snowdin’s the town it originated in, after all, and even they get people from the Capital who come and join in the hunt for Gyftrot. Too many people are about, and even though most of them don’t venture to the Lower Levels thanks to how cold it is, it’s still too risky - and there are a lot of LV-happy monsters about, far too ready to kill *anyone* they see hanging about, especially in a forest.

But on the plus side… a couple years ago we started our own tradition. The village meeting we introduced the idea at had mixed reactions, as a few too many of us have seen Gyftmas in all its terrible, dusty  origins - but we figured that there can’t be much better way to handle some of our own issues and the pressure of laying particularly low for a week than taking Gyftmas and turning it into something nice.

And besides - when it comes down to it, I’ve never met a single monster whose truly willing to turn down a feast and alcohol.

That part at least is going well - the first year was just the one day, and we said screw it - invited everyone in town to the dining hall and just… cooked whatever everyone wanted, broke out the liquor, and had a really good time. The next year we had been able to salvage up a human jukebox - yeah, I was surprised too - and we ended up extending it to a two day event with the ending being the big feast party. The first day we had all-morning baking going on, and though there’s only a small group of kids in Haven, they got the idea to try one of those human customs. Gingerpeople, I think? So we did Gingermonsters - it took all morning for us to get the recipe right, but the kids had a lot of fun and we might’ve ended up eating a pound of cookie dough between us all, so… good times.

Now it’s four days long, and we try to focus on our little community and just… living, celebrating the fact that we found and built a home, one that’s warm, one that we can share better times with. One that’s about.. Finding hope. Not just surviving, you know? There’s a few monsters from this past year that definitely were on the sidelines for the first couple days, but… by the feast, they had warmed up, and one or two even got into the dancing once they had enough alcohol.

The middle of the final day, before the big party, we kinda did a… gift exchange. Everyone made something, and everyone got to walk away with one present - it’s our first year doing it, but…

… I really want to keep this tradition going.

If there’s a day where everyone in Haven can hear Gyftmas and think of this instead of the horrible hunt it is out there...?

… Heh. I probably shouldn’t get my hopes up too fast.

But a monster can want to hope, can’t she?

[swapfell-haven]

Nox’s Journal

1st Entry:

Hey, Journal!

Sup!

… How’s it… hanging…?

…… Grrreetings???

… Yeah, this is about as weird as I figured it would be.

I know Jo and I agreed we’d start journaling to sort through our thoughts and all, otherwise we’d probably end up spending at least an hour a day in the echoflower cavern doing that kinda self-therapy… and that’s probably not a good look, heh. Granted, that is why I grew the echoflowers in there - it’s really helped everyone have a place to share without fear of being judged, to just talk through their issues and feel heard - especially those who don’t feel comfortable being open with others yet…

Which, let’s be honest, is everyone who ends up here.

Hell, it’s everyone Underground.

… In any case, I don’t wanna be taking up so much space in there too much, and it’s true we need a place to sort through our thoughts and experiences. Plus, who knows, maybe having this sort of personal record will prove handy. Stars know I wish I could remember that damn combination of flowers that made the center square smell like cider and fresh rainfall a few years back… that was a good combination.

Am I rambling too much?

I don’t know how to this, clearly.

…

I just made a little leaf to mark your pages. I wonder what kind of tree you used to be… I chose a birch leaf, since you’re my journal and all. Hope that’s not weird.

It feels wrong to crease the corners, is all. Paper comes from trees after all - gotta respect your roots.

…

…...

Yeah, maybe jokes like that are why I should write in you instead of speaking these thoughts, heheh.

You know, earlier I was doing my usual rounds through the forest, but I’ve started pushing out wider again… I do some reshuffling of the trees orientation on my way out, but at least once or twice a year I push out to the greater forest as a whole. I usually stick to the closer twelve miles of forest from Haven’s entrance or so, since I can work through that better and more thoroughly, and that’s more than enough usually… but to keep furthering the now-settled lore of these forests being the kind you can’t return from - well, I make sure to reorient all of it periodically.

It does take a while, of course. But I’m reorienting the landscape, too - shifting the roots under the ground, subtly tilting the slope, making courses that you subconsciously are inclined to follow - helping disorient people and loop them back out of the forest over time. I’ve gotta be thorough.

Not that we’re too concerned. Not about the Royal Guard snooping about, anyways - for being a bunch of literal guard dogs, I’m a little concerned that they couldn’t sniff their way out of an igloo. I mean I don’t want to talk too much shit about their abilities, I’m sure they’ve got their own concerns, but, uh, I’m definitely pretty delighted that they’re that incompetent.

But still, stragglers show up, y’know? Either those thinking they might find some stronger LV up for grabs in such a supposedly-dangerous forest… or those truly looking to lose themselves.

We can’t let them find Haven.

And hey, it’s nice to push farther than usual. The cold doesn’t bother me much of course, though my leaves do get a little frosty. Just adds to the camoflauge, though, right? I tend to get pretty nicely caught up in my work, anyways - in a strange way, the forest feels like it knows me now.

It’s not alive, of course, not in the monster way. But my magic’s in every one of those trees, now - as much as they keep us protected and hidden, I help keep them alive and healthy, giving them a boost as they shift their roots at my call, rearrange their boughs, their entire trunks shifting to a new orientation and place - never the same, never traceable.

… The Underground can be… such a dark place. But Haven, and our people here… the forest outside, responding with its own version of life when I need it to… and Jo - well… it’s all hope, isn’t it? Pure and simple.

It’s why I can’t accept take or be taken. Even in the darkest of caverns down here… there’s a spark of hope to be shared. Always.

You just have to be willing to share it first.

Heh.

Heal or be healed… maybe?

… something like that.

Anyways, I better wrap this up here. Fuku’ll have my horns if I’m late for deciding what this month’s menu’ll be - I know she’s had her soul set on strawberries for the crop set, too, so I’ll grow her a little plant for her own sill before I head out.

… You know, Journal… even as complicated as I’m very, very aware it all is...

Why wouldn’t you prefer spreading happiness, over LoVe…?