#nswfish?

[hetaliatxtpostz]

I once saw an au by zeemo, where Alfred is both a (pre 2018 tumblr) porn star, who doesn't show his face, and a popular college kid.(also the au was rusame, with grandma clothing, socially awkward college student Ivan)

Okay! Okay! Do love RusAme! 

So my first instinct is that the awkward exchange student, Ivan, knows. Like he has to find out, right? So the broad plot would be that Alfred gives Ivan some grief/is generally annoying to him, and then Ivan finds out about this secret and is like “time to blackmail Alfred into being a better person” (with no intention to actually expose him) And he starts asking Alfred to do things like help him with . And they end up bonding when Alfred is doing these requests. 

Here’s my cast: 

Ivan Braginski: a foreign exchange student who doesn’t speak much, as he’s concerned about his working English, and this has given people the impression that he’s very awkward (and a little intimidating as he also looks confused at times-- which is why he gets under Alfred’s skin, Alfred mistakenly thinks that Ivan is challenging him on things). He dresses in sweaters he knit himself. 

Alfred F Kirkland: Popular kid who seems to do everything. He’s playing baseball, he’s starring in a play, he’s in like four different clubs. He’s charming and he’s lively, but he does tend to be a little defensive, and he refuses to take criticism. He normally has a british accent, but he pretends he doesn’t.

Matthew Williams: Alfred’s step-brother, who would like nothing more than to tease him ruthlessly. Despite this, and despite how much Alfred acts like he hates for Matthew to know anything about him, he does know. 

Arthur Kirkland: Alfred oldest brother, who doesn’t know or suspect anything. It drives him crazy that Alfred pretends not to have an accent, and he thinks Alfred in general is not as charming as everyone else treats him-- he thinks people let him get away with things. 

Ludwig Beilschmidt: Alfred’s best friend and roommate. This is the person that Alfred dodges about the most, when keeping his secret, as he thinks it would scanalize Ludwig (little does he know how... well, Ludwig has secrets of his own.) 

SO the plot would be that Alfred is doing all these little things for Ivan (like Ivan asking for certain kinds of foods Alfred doesn’t know how to make, asking him for help with the English homework, ect) and all the while Alfred is trying to figure out a way to one up him by learning all about him (read, accidently falling in love). While Ivan is finding Alfred’s malicious compliance incredibly amusing and also slowly falling for him. While they both try to navigate Alfred’s brothers and roomate. 

[i-swear-its-not-eggs-benedict]

“I'll paint the wallpaper pattern onto your naked skin

Stand against the wallpaper and get off like chameleons”

[fitofpaige17]

Me, drunk: I should post something to drum up conversation... But what?

My brain: "You ever just want to suck off a video game character?"

Me, still drunk: ...WHY?

[threesomeonthemoon]

Who has the weirdest ideas?

K: It depends on the kind of ideas? If it’s something spontaneous like skipping work to feed the ducks in the park, it’s Magnus. If it’s sneaking a few tentacles into the bedroom, it’d be Taako.

[deathbyunicornashes]

I have a request if you'd be so kind~ Whenever you have the time or inspiration for it. More Minmin and Renren please?

Minmin is a major tease.

[daycarelancelot-blog]

Lafayette bit his his nails nervously the pit of his stomach, squeezing tightly together making him feel nauseous. How would he face upcoming Monday? How would he face the demon queen of high school herself? "The demon queen of high school had decreed it;" he said tiredly. "She says Monday, 8 am, I will be deleted." "They'll hunt me down in study hall, stuff and mount me on the wall; thirty hours to live- how shall I spend them?" He sighed and placed his head into his hands trying to think of what he can do before Angelica kicks his ass. He doesn't have to stay here and accept his fate. Seattle wasn't that far away! "I don't have to stay and die like cattle. I could change my name and ride up to Seattle!" Then again Lafayette didn't own a motor bike so that's out of the question. "But I don't own a motorbike." His cheeks turned a light hint of red at a sudden thought that popped into his head. His blush got worse as he got up and exited his house. "Wait- here's an option that I like!" His lips pulled up to a smirk. He was already out the front door, not bothering to tell Thomas that he was going out. He knew how he would spend his remaining hours. There was a certain tailor he wanted to see. "Spend these thirty hours getting freaky- yeah!" "I need it hard! I'm a dead boy walking!" He was in Hercule's yard, his cheeks flushing a deep crimson. "I'm in your yard! I'm a dead boy walking!" He climbed up the tree next to Hercule's window, and leaned over to unlock the window. "Before they punch my clock! I'm snapping off your window lock! Got no time to knock! I'm a dead boy walking....." Hercules looked up from his bed his eyes wide to see a stranger coming into his room through his window. Then he realized it was Lafayette. He got up from his bed and helped Lafayette into the room a nervous smile making a way across his face. "Lafayette? What are you doin' in my room?" He asked. Lafayette put a finger to his lips, getting really close, his other hand going down his back. "Shhhh..." Lafayette whispered the smile never leaving him. "Sorry I really had to wake you." He leaned in close to his ear, a small giggle escaping. "See I've decided I must ride you til I break you!" Hands traveled up and down. Bodies pushed up against each other. Lafayette looked down with hunger in his eyes. Hercules didn't seem to mind. They both were smiling at this point. "Cause Heather says I gotsta go!" Lafayette pulled in Hercules close, his lips only inches away from as if he was teasing Herc. "You're my last meal on death row," Hercules opened his mouth to say anything but he was quickly shut up by Lafayette. "Shut your mouth and lose them tighty whiteys! Come on!" He pushed Hercules onto the bed, removing his shirt so only his under shirt showed. "Tonight I'm yours! I'm your dead boy walking!" He felt his skirt being pulled off and helped Hercules pull of his own shirt. Lafayette straddled Hercules, his cheeks a crimson red. "Get on all fours! Kiss this dead boy walking!" Lafayette pulled in Hercules for a quick kiss, making Hercules grip him tightly but Lafayette pulled away making Hercules frown. Laf was teasing. "Let's go, you know the drill! I'm hot and pissed and on the pill, bow down to will of a dead boy walking!" He smiled down at Hercules and caressed his cheek. "And you know, you know, you know, it's because you're beautiful." He gave him a quick peck on the lips, making Hercules yearning for more. "You say you're numb inside, but I can't agree." Lafayette frowned for a spilt second. "So the world's not fair? Keep it locked out there!" He pointed towards the window before a smile crossed his cheeks again. "In here it's beautiful! Let's make this beautiful!" Hercules grinned. "That works for me!" Hercules pushed himself up with the help of his elbows so Lafayette could kiss him better. It only took seconds for Hercule's tongue to enter and explore the Frenchman's mouth. Soft noises escaped the two men as Lafayette wrapped his arms around Hercules, and Hercules gripped Lafayette's thighs firmly, his lips pulling away from Lafayette's so he could mark his neck, warning noises from the Frenchman. "Yeah! Full steam ahead! Take this dead boy walking!" Hercules felt like it was time to ask. "How'd you find my address?" Lafayette grinned. "Let's break the bed! Rock this dead boy walking!" Hercules looked down for a spilt second. "I think we tore my mattress." Lafayette pressed a finger to his lips. "No sleep tonight for you, better chug that Mountain Dew!" Hercules looked starstruck. "Okay, okay." "Get your ass in gear! Make this whole town disappear!" "Okay! Okay!" Lafayette lightly slapped Herc. "Slap me," He felt his hair being pulled by Hercules. "Pull my hair!" He felt Hercules' hands travel up Lafayette's body as he ripped open Lafayette's under short, his hands wandering. "Touch me there, there, and there!" Lafayette demanded. ""No more talking, Love this dead boy walking!" Both of them in sync at this moment, Lafayette grinding up against Hercules as his hands gripped Lafayette's waist more tightly, both of them breathing hard and quick. Lafayette leaning down to devour Hercules's lips, allowing Hercules to kiss along his jawline, a satisfied smile crossing on Lafayette's blissful face. "Love this dead boy!" Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Lafayette bit at Hercules's neck making him go, "ow!" "YEAH!!!!!!!"

[klausriordain]

A nice massage always does the trick for me ☺️💋

I should get one. I can take pain, so I won’t mind if it’s a bit on the rougher side, as long as they get the kinks worked out.

[eranthiss]

B-Cups???? I mean....At least they aren't A's, still enough to play with ahem.

“If all you see in me are breasts, then I suggest you start moving.”