I'VE JUST HAD TOP SURGERY! OMG! Can't believe it finally happened!
If anyone's curious, here's the timeline of my journey so far:
Referral to gender clinic sent via NHS England: April 2019
East of England gender clinic called: Jan 2022
Had 4-5 calls with clinic: Jan 2022 - May 2024
Jan 2022 = 1st call to take me off Tavistock list and onto EoE list. 2nd call week later to talk with them about myself, dysphoria, how long felt trans, where I fall on trans scale and how I see my gender, and most importantly: what I want from them, etc
Later 2022 = 3rd call that went through same things as 2nd but with a different person so they could compare notes and confirm gender dysphoria/incongruence diagnosis.
In both calls with the clinic, I expressed that my main dysphoria was with my chest and the thought of going on hormones beforehand would exacerbate feelings so I wanted to pursue top surgery (removal of breasts) first.
In both calls, I was asked if I had socially transitioned, who I'd told, how it made me feel, and experience that affirmed this was the correct path for me, etc. I had come out to my work as non-binary with a shortened version of my birth name. I knew this was temporary until I took the plunge and changed my name (ADHD procrastination is a bitch 😂)
August 2022 = I socially changed my name and confirmed the pronouns I'd like to be called. It didn't really come as a shock to anyone tbh, which was good. I think this was before my 3rd call with clinic, so I was able to tell them my new name.
Feb 2023 = I legally changed my name (big up the ADHD procrastination and finally the impulse to just DO IT!). I did this via Deedpoll and had 2 colleagues/friends sign as witnesses. I chose them as they had easy to understand jobs so would look more official than unemployed or self-owned company person.
March 2023 (I think) = I had my 4th call with the clinic, this was specifically for top surgery. They asked me about what kind I wanted, who/where I wanted to go with, if I understood the risks etc. I answered all bar who/where as I didn't have anyone bar really old names that I'd seen from YouTube. I asked them to send me a list so I could choose.
April 2023 = I chose My Andrew (Andy) Mellington at Nuffield Health in Brighton as my surgeon. I'm considered obese so I wanted a realistic BMI goal. Most wanted a BMI of 30 so I didn't even look at them (this was based off comments I'd see on social media, with some people saying a few surgeons weren't very nice), whereas his, and Mr Kneeshaw (I think) accepted a limit of 35 BMI. This was far more attainable for me. I did email them both (details on their websites to info emails can be found easily) and enquired. Mellington's team came back to me the next day asking me to send questions to a specific person, they then came back very quickly (same/next day). I'm still yet to hear back from Kneeshaw 😂 (a friend of a friend went with him which is why I considered him, but Mellington was quicker, had good reviews on social media and I was able to find someone who had my body shape, pictures, and replied to me! So that consolidated my decision.)
Aug 2023 = official referral from EoE gender clinic was sent to Nuffield requesting Mellington to take me on.
Nuffield team called me to confirm consultation date: early January 2024
At this point the team also sent a short form for me to fill in and requested pictures of my chest
Consult with Andy Mellington: late Feb 2024
I didn't expect him to talk about much of my trans experience tbh but he did ask a little (how long felt like this, how did you know etc.) before he then ran through what I requested and what I should expect
I asked for double masectomy. Due to my weight and size of breasts, this was 1 of a few options. Andy said looking at my chest pictures, it's likely my scars would be so close in the middle that to achieve a flatter chest, 1 long scar was gonna be best to avoid leaving a bulge in the middle.
I chose not to have nipples grafted. This was for a few reasons. 1. I don't like when I can see them through my shirt (big dysphoria). 2. I've watched a lot of vids of trans people's recovery and the nips are the grossest (they get removed and reattached so healing is a bit longer/itchier etc than just the main scar). 3. Someone said they were scared of scratching them off and uh...yeah that didn't help. 4. I saw vids of other people with no nips and it looked fine, there's gonna be a big ol' scar on ya chest so it's not like there's nothing to look at.
Andy did reassure that he's never had any nipples fall off of his patients, if that's what I was worried about too. But honestly, I just don't want them. And if I decide later that I want something there, then I could choose to get them tattooed on.
Nuffield team called to confirm surgery date: mid-March 2024
Date of surgery: 30th May 2024
Pre-assessment call 14th May 2024
Call from Nuffield team. Went through medical history and confirmed what needed to be done about getting bloods taken
Pre-assessment appointment: 21st May 2024
Went to my nearest Nuffield hospital (1 hour away) and had blood taken and MRSA swabs. Team were really nice and welcoming.
I got ill for a month and half so had to reschedule my surgery 😭: May 17th 2024
It was rescheduled: late Aug 24 but I asked to be kept on the list if anyone else cancelled, I was then re-rescheduled for late July 2024
And now, it's August! It's done!
In morning of July date, discharged the next morning.
2 week post-op meeting with Nuffield team will come. I will be able to take my binder off, they will check my scars. Expected to be about 30 minutes, can be in person or virtual (I was advised virtual is absolutely fine as I live far away, Andy was happy with results and no nips meant better recovery).
Then I have a gender clinic appointment expected around April 2025 to possible talk hormones.
It's been a long time to wait, and that's without all the dysphoria that comes with living in the wrong body for so long, but my god am I so relieved right now. It's (pun fully intended) such a weight off my chest!
