if you could have any body what would you want?
textureless colorless orb
nanobot swarm
black hole
portal
shadowy figure
the sky
infinite pillow
600 cell
change
inertia
a cat
other???
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if you could have any body what would you want?
textureless colorless orb
nanobot swarm
black hole
portal
shadowy figure
the sky
infinite pillow
600 cell
change
inertia
a cat
other???
Thia migjt be a silly question but can you still feel sexual pleasure after you have done a nullification surgery?
I don't think it's silly but I mind either way, no worries!
So, the simple answer would be yes, you can.
The less simple answer starts with the fact that even if you had your genitals completely removed and the nerves in the area weren't sensitive afterwards, it doesn't mean you can't experience sexual pleasure in other areas of the body.
The genitals are not the only area you can experience sexual pleasure.
But also, if you mean "can you sexually stimulate your genital area even after nullification surgery", depending on the person and the surgery type, absolutely! There are loads of nerves in the general area and removing the genitals doesn't necessarily remove those.
You can also specifically have some of the most sensitive parts of the genitals buried during surgery as opposed to just removed to keep more sensitivity.
It mostly depends on how you heal, how you tailor your surgery and how you experience sexual pleasure in general beforehand.
For example, if you already don't experience sexual pleasure, you're unlikely to suddenly start experiencing it after surgery unless your lack of pleasure before was due to something like gender dysphoria.
Hopefully this helps a little! Lemme know if you have any other questions, this was a really good one. Fun to answer. <3
I'll share some of mine! They might seem a bit tame, unfortunately, but I'll try.
I watched Kodomo no Jikan in junior high, and I felt validated for my attraction to teachers. (Whether this is a positive impact or not, uh... I mean feeling less alone is always nice!).
I became (and to an extent, am still) obsessed with anything that has a "positive" incest narrative, even vaguely. My favorite is the Newsflesh series, by Mira Grant (the sibling relationship is endgame and, while it's questioned by other characters, isn't totally condemned). But there was also the Koi Kaze anime; loved that one.
Definitely not considered problematic media, but the way Violet responded to Olaf hitting Klaus in The Bad Beginning? Was what first made me realize it's a BAD thing when adults hit kids. I thought it was normal. (Also I low-key shipped Violet and Olaf, but that's unrelated.)
Oh, here's one-- seven years old, reading Blubber by Judy Blume, I kept obsessively rereading the scene where the bullies force a girl to undress. My family was like "why are you so obsessed with that mean book?!" I think that was the start of my sadism and noncon kink, haha.
Finally there's the Cy & Lyn comics by nul_bis on AO3. I first found them on a porn site... All the comments were like "the MAN who wrote these is so fucked up perv who gets off on hitting women" and I was like, I refuse to believe a cis man, especially a dom, wrote this. It's so obvious a sub who probably has a vulva wrote this (turns out, I was right lmao). It gave a name to a kink I've had for ages, but didn't know what it was called-- nullification!
Thanks for sharing, that's delightful stuff! š„°
A couple comments on various things you mentioned:
I cannot believe I'm finally meeting someone else who watched Koi Kaze after all this time lol. 𤯠The last time I discussed it with anyone was on some late 2000s anime forum. Ugh, I miss forums... š Anyway, I thought it was really good, and I'm not even into incest stuff. I thought it handled the topic of incestual attraction in an unexpectedly serious and conflicted way for the characters.
I loooove A Series of Unfortunate Events! š„° And I've heard that same exact thing you described from multiple people actually. There's a real taboo about showing an adult hitting a child in media, especially children's books, and the result is that many kids do grow up not realizing that it's wrong what's happening to them.
Lol I love stories like that one from Blubber, where some small scene accidentally awakens something in the reader. š¤ I wonder what was like that for me? š¤ Oh! Did anyone ever read Silent to the Bone by E.L. Konigsburg? Well there's a scene where this female babysitter is taking a bath and calls in the boy she's watching, I think he's like 12 or 13, and he sees her naked and gets an erection and she sort of playfully starts teases him over it. And back then, I think I was in middle school, I was like... holy shit š³ š„µ šµāš«
Omg, I never heard of that Cy & Lynn comic. Read a little bit, that shit seems hot. It probably gets too dark for me but whatev, I'm gonna link it below lol:
ā”ļø Cy & Lynn Comics ⬠ļø
week 4 of nullo recovery:
so I'm pretty much done with the hard part- pain has gone down enough for me to stop taking oxycodone, I've gone out with friends, i can move around without hurting myself, it feels like things are starting to return to normal. there's barely any blood in my maxi pads anymore. my wounds are almost completely healed now so over the next week or two, 8my sutures are gonna dissolve and fall out- I'm really looking forward to them being gone because they're kinda really annoying. i can feel the tips of them stabbing into my skin sometimes. I'm allowed to cut them off now (but not pull them out) but I'm not gonna do that unless they really start to bother me.
Today I had my second post-op appointment. check the fit~
i also squeezed a boob and found a free stool
The appointment itself went really fast, basically everything is healing perfectly, apart from some slight hypergranulation. when a wound is healing it forms granulation tissue, but sometimes it forms too much and that impacts the healing process. it's pretty common with these types of surgeries. they treated this with silver nitrate which came in the form of these big matchstick-type things. The doctor said it might burn but i didn't feel anything. that part of the wound will have some extra bleeding for a few days, but it basically has a second chance to heal normally now.
i asked about sexual activity and the answer is that i still have to wait another 2 months before sex. BUT I'm allowed to startĀ slowlyĀ experimenting with clitoral stimulation!
this week I'm also gonna try riding the bus again- I think I'm ready for it. and my next follow up is in another month, on May 14th.
very long color of the sky post below, this is my entire diary from the first 3 weeks of recovering from nullification surgery.
(something i forgot to mention, gabapentin makes me absolutely STUPID. not the fun kind of stupid like with marijuana or ketamine. it's a boring stupid. your thoughts are just slow. but it did help a lot with nerve pain)
Also I'm gonna add that nerves are reconnecting. I'm feeling jolts of pleasure when im rinsing off with the showerhead and when im in a car that goes over a bump.
when i kiss girls I feel a ??? between my legs but i don't have the words to describe it yet. it's different from getting hard but honestly, not as different as you'd think. it's all the same stuff down there but in different locations. as much as i really wanted to keep exploring that feeling, it's definitely too early for it.
I'm getting really pent up. this is medically enforced chastity
Found out about nullification surgery and started actually crying with joy. I had no idea that was possible. I've literally been saying my whole life that I wanted that exact kind of surgery.
Information about it is a bit scarce, especially personal experiences with it and it seems like something I'll have to actually physically talk to a doctor quite a bit about in order to get all the details.
If anyone out there has had nullification surgery or other NB bottom surgery, I'd be very interested to hear your experiences with it, if you're willing to share.
Is this varsexism? Specifically towards transnull individuals.
I want to have no genitals whatsoever. Iāve wanted this for a while. But I keep ruminating in my head over whether I have repressed CSA trauma. Like, feeling like I need to figure that out before I ever seriously consider a nullectomy. Or that seriously considering it at all is off the table and I just need to figure out why Iām like this.
In my defense, there are other traits I have that tend to be indicative of repressed trauma. Even if I didnāt want any form of SRS. But I also feel like the desire to not have any genitalia isnāt a desire that a rational person would have. And that it has to be sexual trauma of some variety because no one would want nothing as part of their ideal body normally.
I feel like I treat nullectomy/nullification surgery as a class all of its own. Like, wanting a vagina or a penis or both is fine. Wanting neither means thereās something wrong with you. And by proxy something wrong with me. I would dismiss this as my brain just making fun of me over anything Iāve ever wanted ever. Because it doesnāt want me to have nice things. But these beliefs also affect how I view other people who want nullification.
Context [link]
It is varsexism, yes (though I wouldn't say towards transnull people specifically, as anyone of any gender or sex can desire nullification.)
I am glad you recognize that your internalized self-hatred and experiences with CSA has influenced the way you view this procedure. It's good that you have self-awareness.
While it is perfectly valid to crave nullification due to sexual trauma, you should work on understanding other reasons people may have for desiring nullification.
Some common reasons I've seen are:
1: The person has a gender or sex identity that - for their personal experience (as people can have different gender or sex goals) - would be most affirmed through being without genitals, or with having buried genitals.
2: The person is uninterested in sex or repulsed by sex due to being ace-spec, and feel as though their genitals are a nuisance.
3: The person wishes to dedicate themself to abstinence for the sake of religion/spiritual beliefs.
There are, of course, many other reasons why nullification is desired for a lot of people. But those are the most common ones - alongside your sexual trauma example - that I've seen.
Your mindset also negatively impacts intersex people [link] on the agenital spectrum. Having absent, closed off, small, or buried genitals is just as natural as any other genital formation.
And even if someone desires genitals that are not "natural", there is nothing harmful about that.
does anyone have any resources on transfem nullification surgery, specifically about customization options, post op recovery, and āeveryday useā (i.e. peeing, masturbation, sex, wearing clothes)? i have already read the doll parts/neogenitals evangelion zine and its cool but i would like to see more perspectives