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[alunadiufuk]

AADC poem from Aan Mansyur

Dari jendela kau melihat bintang bintang tanggal, satu demi satu. Berulang mengucapkan selamat tinggal. Kadang kau fikir lebih mudah mencintai semua orang, daripada melupakan satu orang. Jika ada seorang terlanjur menyentuh inti jantungmu, mereka yang datang kemudian hanya menyentuh kemungkinan.

[alunadiufuk]

kamu menghilang tanpa kepastian, meninggalkan janji yang kamu ingkari, juga bersumpah tanpa suara.

apa kamu pernah memikirkan perasaan dan hati yang telah ku tata dengan susah payah untukmu?

kamu jahat

lantas apa kamu pantas mendapatkan pengorbanan dariku?

[alunadiufuk]

It is under no circumstances that you will fall for me

But I kept dreaming of you standing in front of me

Looking deep into my soul as you smile at me

The door has been closed

The day when the devils unleashed their claws usinG my words

I vowed to loathe you and never back up

But I longed for the universe to revoke my curse

Your eyes, that I could never forget

Your back, that I longed for it to turn at me

Your voice, that I heard every day In my dreams

THings that I need to discard before the bloom of the first flower

Before the arrival of the sun and butterflies

I’ll go and never look back for the One thing that never found me

I’ll erase you. It’s done for me.

[alunadiufuk]

I was wrong about you, wasn't I?

I thought you are just a negative sub-atomic particle in my atom

but you are more than that, you are the nucleus

I thought you are more than just the pressure that drives disaster on my earth

but you are more than that, you are the core

I thought you are more than just a sea of violent plasma on my light's corona

but you are more than that, you are the sun

all these years I have always thought of those first ones about you. I was wrong, wasn't I? you have always been the whole system of my universe all along

please tell me I was wrong without telling me I was wrong

I want to believe in you

[alunadiufuk]

I looked outside, but all I see was you coming into my life and walked past through me like a shadow

I looked inside, there was us hitting it under the rain, making up and out with that shitty anime sounds on the background

I looked down, you were there lifting me up with your words of affirmation and arms

I looked up, damn yeah I had to see you fly over the stupid clouds of memories

I looked anywhere and all I see is your presence, lingering as I breathe, rising and setting as the sun

I looked into my eyes, wondering if you’ll ever come back to me

Then I slowly close my heart, while contemplating between giving up the ever or never salutation for when you come to me again

[alunadiufuk]

Have you ever heard of a hypocrite? The creature that lives by eating its own mud of a speech? Maybe it doesn’t realize its own habit. Maybe it understand but can’t change the facts. Maybe that creature resides in me. Maybe even worse, you?

[alunadiufuk]

Aku percaya kamu, lalu runtuh. Aku butuh kamu, lalu sendiri. Aku memperhatikan kamu, lalu terusir.

Lelah, begitu panjang perjalanan hatiku untuk sampai ke tempatmu, tapi lompatan jarak membelah hatimu dengan kasar. Lalu bagaimana aku bisa melangkah kembali dengan awan hujan yang menantiku keluar di depan sana?

Sedang kecup darimu menahanku untuk menjauh. Peluk hangatmu memintaku untuk tinggal, tapi tidak ada lagi siapapun yang tersisa disini. Hanya hati yang tercabik jarak dan waktu, yang menuntunku untuk menantang badai di depan sana, kembali ke peraduanku yang sunyi.

Haruskah aku percaya untuk kembali? Haruskah aku membutuhkanmu kembali? Haruskah aku memperhatikanmu kembali?

Akan kutunggu hatimu tumbuh kembali dari seberang sana. Pada saatnya nanti, jemput aku, peluk dan sayangi aku seperti dulu, dibawah langit parahyangan yang menyelimuti jiwa kita, hujan dan tanpa rahasia.

[alunadiufuk]

Kata-kata yang ga make sense saat pasangan lagi berantem:

1. “Aku bisa jelasin”. Ngapain bilang ini jyr langsung aja jelasin zzz. Intinya yang bilang ini sedang cari waktu tambahan buat bikin alasan palsu yg logis.

2. “Jujur sama feeling lo”. Ga ngerti gw, gimana caranya bohong sama feeling? Kalo gw bete ya bete aja, kalo nunjukin muka happy walau bete itu artinya bohong sama orang lain, bukan bohong sama feeling. I know, phrases are sometimes stupid and illogical.

3. “Aku perlu waktu menyendiri dulu beberapa bulan”. Doi pengen udahan tapi gaenak buat nyakitin perasaan lo. Jadi doi minta izin ngilang sampe lo lupa ama dia dan move on. Dan sialnya lo (gue jg) percaya dan beneran nungguin doi. What a joke. Comedy gold.