Giving Thanks
Wow. The last year.
My significant other’s mom pointed out to us what a great year it has been for us. Something I had thought in passing but not taking much consideration of.
Backing up to winter 2019, I was really struggling as a human with my depression and anxiety. I also was working as an RA and senior nursing student. I was really struggling in my pediatrics class and my critical care class. I submitted a major assignment a few hours late and lost probably 15% off my grade for it. I rallied and passed the final but ended up not passing my pediatrics final.
Somewhere near the end of that challenging semester, my patient in clinicals died following a traumatic code. I think we coded her for 2 hours. I did compressions 4 times one of which, they were intubating her. She was just in her 40s and with a young son. I still harbor some anger toward her and that situation. My family also suffered a loss of a close family friend who had pancreatic cancer.
These academic struggles and personal struggles lead to me not being allowed to complete my BSN just 5 months before graduation (4 year program).
I scattered to come up with a plan. Fortunately for me, my boyfriend and his mom were supportive of me despite my failures. I was able to graduate with a B.A. in Individualized program with a psychology minor.
I really began working my job as a nursing assistant in late February into March 2020. Great timing if you recall. I am an essential worker and it was just what I needed. The ability to do good and distract myself.
In the meantime, I was working on getting back into nursing school. I decided that financially the local community college was my best bet. I had to sit for the TEAs for the first time. Lucky for me, I got in! At our first orientation they mentioned that they had partnered with the hospital I work at to for a Nurse Apprenticeship where they would aid in paying for school and books while employing nursing students to work 1 shift as an aide and 1 as a nursing student. Only 5 spots open!
I whipped out my honesty and my references and GOT THE SPOT! I told them I essentially failed out of my other program and they ACCEPTED ME!
The timing was perfect because my unit was very stressful. My progressive unit was half COVID. I had not had any of my patients on my unit die during my shift until November. Then I had 5, most of which, had covid. I was really beginning to feel beaten down. Many of the nurses on my unit began to catch it too.
My boyfriend was blessed in December to be accepted to a medical school!
Then on 12/29/20 I got the Pfizer vaccine!! I almost want to cry, I am ready for the light at the end of the tunnel. I have had side effects (fever, fatigue, malaise -- woot woot immune system!!!) on 1/2/21 which are all gone now. My next one is on 1/21/21.
I am incredibly blessed as I begin my new job and my second shot in nursing school!