#nyrrangers

[thevezinamonologues-blog]

all y’all out here calling Mika captain for learning Finnish for KK, as if Chris Kreider didn’t go OFF about LITERALLY “Pedagogy of Second Language Acquisition” because he went ALL the fuck out of his way to utilize his Russian skills and help Buchnevich learn English when we had no other Russian speakers on the team TWO ENTIRE years ago

[thevezinamonologues-blog]

this is so niche and awesome. Chris Kreider and Nic Dowd for the articles?

Chris Kreider: Hedy Lamarr

This is PERFECT. An interviewer: Who’s your favourite historical figure?Kreids: Hedy Lamarr.Interviewer: Nobody more... well-known?Kreids: Hedy Lamarr.Interviewer: Any other favourites?Kreids: HEDY. LAMARR.

Nic Dowd:  52-Hertz Whale

Send me a hockey player and I’ll randomly give them an interesting wikipedia article (and maybe a blurb inspired by it)

[thevezinamonologues-blog]

here’s why the rangers suck

Andersson: chaotic neutral for fun, would yeet the stanley cup for lulz

Buchnevich: too adorable. tells jokes. this is a serious game for serious athletes. do not have fun. also collects magnets.

Chytil: young and talented. who do you think we are? a high school model un team?

Claesson: friends w gabe landeskog. anyone friends with both landeskog and lundqvist has too much pretty in their life and im suspicious of their intentions

Fast: only fast. is not faster. or fastest. change ur name and ur speed good fella.

Georgiev: is too pure. angels arent allowed to play hockey this is a mortal beings ONLY sport

Hajek: libor hajek is what captcha makes me type to prove im not a robot. this is not a real name.

Howden: likes puppies. why not like scoring goals

Kreider: shaves beautiful curls so that he may resemble an egg instead of lord byron

Lundqvist: has no lips and is still the most handsome man on the planet this math is illogical and therefore he cannot be trusted

Namestnikov: has a dog named mika but is not the same mika thats on the team. i am confusion. america explain.

Nieves: name is boo, which is a nickname. it isnt scary. its cute. find something scarier next time

Pionk: name is too fun to say. as per buchnevich, we do not allow fun here.

Shattenkirk: took a discount to play for his hometown team. could be a heartwarming story, could be a sleeper spy.

Skjei: too pretty for hockey, could play prince eric at disney world instead

Smith: if that is even your real name

Staal: didnt understand when the young defensemen called him daddy daycare. if he wont stay up to date on pop culture references, how do we know he’ll stay up to date on how to hockey?

Vesey: part harvard grad, part alien. cannot do laundry.

Zibanejad: has musical talent as well as hockey talent. greedy.

Quinn: most beautiful head coach in the league, acknowledges henrik’s handsomeness. why  isnt he married to me

Fans: the good ones hate the maga squad on the team how dare they like equality and dislike support of fascists

[thevezinamonologues-blog]

Hey babe, if you’re still doing ships, who’d you ship me with? 😊😊💕👌

I ship you with my son Filip Chytil <3

How You Met: the two of you were sitting near each other on the subway and someone was doing something WILD and you made eye contact and bonded over mutually trying not to LOSE IT laughing

[thevezinamonologues-blog]

Hey can I get a ship please? I’m irish, 18, I’m 5ft with blue eyes, ginger hair and lots of freckles! I love sports and I play rugby, I want to be a sports therapist and maybe coach kids team, I also love the beach!

I know you’re an isles fan and I’m so sorry, but this popped into my head and wouldn’t leave, so I ship you with Lias Andersson!

How You Met: You totally met at some charity sporting event involving kids! And he saw your rugby shirt and asked you a lot of questions about the sport :) 

[thevezinamonologues-blog]

Hey ! If you’re still doing the ship ask, I’d like to submit one to you 😊

I’m 20 y/o

I’m 5’3, little bit of curves

Shoulder length brown hair and an undercut

Blue eyes

I love animals more than people

I love reading and writing

I have a thing for goalies

I’m from Belgium, Eu but I travel a lot, as soon as I can

I’m pretty calm et almost never get angry but when I do, I’m a hurricane

I break down from time to time and cuddling usually helps a lot

I really love cuddles

I’m a musician, studying music at university

Please, excuse me for the mistakes you could find in there, English is not my first language 😇

Is it here that I’m supposed to post it ? (Sorry, I’m not good at that tumblr stuff, it’s still the beginning 😅😇)

This works, love! Here’s a ship for @lammapandicorn (and your English is great, darling! Second languages are hard and I wouldn’t have been able to tell if you hadn’t mentioned it so I’m proud of you and your awesome skills!)

He’s not a goalie but I super ship you with Boo Nieves (He also studied music at university!!)

How You Met: You were both travelling for fun and ended up sitting next to each other on a plane, then ended up sitting next to each other again on the shuttle from the airport, then again on a train the next day! You guys figured it was a sign you should just travel together and hang out.

[thevezinamonologues-blog]

hi rach! first of all: i love u and i miss u 💗 also i saw you were doing ships, could u ship me? i’m mexican, 20, love to watch a ton of sports, have gr8 taste in hockey players’ facial hair and am obsessed with 60’s and 70’s music. i hope you do great on your final! sending you lots of luck and lots of love 💗

MARIA MY LOVE I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU AND IF I CANT SHIP YOU WITH ME I GUESS ILL SHIP YOU WITH A HOCKEY PLAYER OR SOMETHING <3 <3 but listen I cannot abide your terrible taste in jimmy vesey’s facial hair I love you with my whole heart but I have limits as a human being

So I ship you with Jimmy. Obviously. Because you’re the only one who will appreciate the disaster he’s trying to grow on his face <3

How You Met: So Kevin Hayes was roasting Jimmy one day about how he has such boring taste in music so he let his spite guide him to some small Earth, Wind, and Fire cover band/electroswing hybrid show in a little hole in the wall venue. It wasn’t really his style, but you were there and you looked so happy and he was definitely attracted to that joy in you and he bought you a drink

send me a description and I’ll give you a hockey ship and how you met 

[thevezinamonologues-blog]

For the pic thingy could you do an Adam mcquaid one? Please and thank you 🤗

You worry. A lot. His job is dangerous, the scar on his neck proves that to you both every day, but you nuzzle against it, his beard tickling your cheek, and he smiles and wraps his arms around you and you feel like even if his job isn’t safe, the two of you are.