#oblivious clint

[midnightwinterhawk]

31 Days Of Halloween

WinterHawk Vampires, oh my!

▪ Vampire!Clint AU (series) by @shatteredhourglass Rated E for never Enough porn in this fandom.

Sort-of canon AU where... you know what, the title is all the explanation you need. Vampires. The rest of the canon remains more or less the same.

▪ Dude, I'll Just Wear Sunglasses by @sevdrag

Clint Barton is is the worst at being a vampire, Werewolf Bucky is so done with his shit, and Mistress Natasha knows everything.

▪ Part 2 of vampire Bucky. I shared part 1 at the beginning of the month, plus it's linked below. by @thepartyresponsible: i decided to revisit vampire bucky and shifter clint. this verse is still entirely too sweet for its subject matter.  

▪ Is That the Fangs I Get? by @downwarddnaspiral Rated E for still never Enough porn in this fandom.

“It’s your turn to do the dishes,” Clint mumbled around the too-hot pizza pocket that he stuffed into his mouth anyway. It scorched the roof of his mouth, but his stomach muttered up at him Worth it. Bucky rolled his eyes, long-suffering and just plain done.

“Dude. It’s so not my turn. Especially when you consider that I don’t even eat food.”

“Oh, are we playing that game again? Yeah? Well, I can play that game, too. ‘Oh, look at me, I’m a vampire! Bleah, bluh-bleah!’” Clint made big, spooky eyes and draped his forearm across his mouth like a cape for emphasis.

Bucky face-palmed. “Don’t make me hurt you, Barton.”

[tonystarktogo]

Ok so I scrolled down quickly and for a second it looked like you tagged "cupid" instead of "christmas" and obvi my first thought was clint. Is he literal cupid? Does he have trouble matching tony with someone? Is tony his match? Is he not actual cupid but the resident matchmaker? Does he set tony up with everyone? Does he run around on Valentine's in a ridiculous get up setting up all the single people on blind dates?? I don't know but I hope you do.

I just cracked up at the “obviously my first thought was clint” part, because honestly? He was not my first thought at all but I love that you thought of him! 

And now thanks to you I can’t help imagine Clint as cupid. Maybe he isn’t The Cupid exactly, but he’s certainly one cupid. And, fine, it’s more of a side job, a hobby really, considering he doesn’t get paid, but he takes it very seriously, alright? So when he still hasn’t found an appropriate match for Tony after three years of living with the man, Clint takes that a little personal.

He knows Tony, okay? He knows what Tony likes, knows what he’s looking for, and he should damn well be able to find someone who fits those criteria. He’s a cupid, by Amor, he doesn’t even have to use his SHIELD connections for stuff like that. Clint usually just looks at people and knows. So why on earth do the blind dates he sets up for Tony always go up in flames--on one memorable occasion literally?

(And hey, that wasn’t Clint’s fault at all. How was he supposed to know the guy was a mutant with an affinity for fire and a serious hatred for pepperoni? He’s matching people, not reading their damn minds.)

It’s a pain in the ass job, and a freaking insult to his skill on top of that and Clint won’t stand for it.

(It hasn’t occurred to Clint just yet that maybe all those dates and flirts and meet-cutes he arranges fail because Tony already has a specific interest in mind. It will though. On day. Probably.

Well, maybe.

Actually, it’s a good thing Tony knows very well what he wants and is fully capable of asking people who interest him out on his own. Because Clint likely wouldn’t catch a clue even if Natasha bodily threw him through it in his current match-making frenzy.)

(The rest of the team is quietly exasperated. Except for JARVIS, who is amused and helping Tony out. Oh, and DUM-E, who’s suspicious of Clint’s odd behaviour around his creator. He’s driving over Clint’s feet a lot.)