(TRIGGER WARNING: descriptions of violence/murder. SPOILERS for The Eye of the Bedlam Bride. Also long and rambly, tangent to tangent.)
The tasks Katia needed to do to get the orchid sounded like a checklist that was two thirds done. All we need is a successful assassination! Oh, its Astrid? That’ll be difficult. Doable, but difficult.
There was nothing quick/clean about Astrid’s death. It was violent and brutal, a betrayal, a murder. She knew Carl; she thought he was trouble, but the idea of him killing her wasn’t even considerable. Can you imagine that kind of betrayal of trust?
Carl and Katia mutilated her; they ripped her apart, blinded her, she had enough time to beg. That’s gonna stick with them.
Carl mentioned earlier Katia’s line from book 3: “I’m losing myself.”
They just sliced away another piece.
Carl keeps telling himself that NPCs are better off dead if they can’t be saved, but it’s obviously a cope for him using/sacrificing/abandoning them to survive. He knows this, he knows he’s lying through his teeth to himself. In book 4, some crawlers died following his orders. And here in book 6, he chose to risk two people getting a Smite. It’s not all his fault—the Dungeon and people surrounding it are forcing these kinds of choices to be made. But still, the slope is felt.
“… this part of the bargain is between you and me, and that’s it. If you mention any of this, the deal is off, and I will make certain everyone you’ve ever known and loved is pounded into dirt. But if you do everything I ask, you will have found a forever friend in me, both during your crawl and after. I will make certain you survive until the twelfth floor …”
- Huanxin Jinx, chapter 17, The Eye of the Bedlam Bride
“I’ll get you to the next floor, or however deep you need, if you help us. But we gotta do the card thing. You know how it works. […] You turn any of my friends blind or insane or otherwise hurt anyone we’re not already fighting, the deal is off. I will rip the card. But if you help us, you have my word we’ll help you. Do you understand?”
“Be a friend to me, and I will be a friend to you.”
I have to wonder when Carl will start using “friend” similarly. I don’t want to say “when,” but the Dungeon does this to the survivors. The Prologue of this book showed an extreme case. And now, several Crawls later, Mordecai admitted that he sees Katia as family and friend, but still suggested, in the same speech, the option of abandoning her as a convenient solution for part of the Crown problem.
On another tangent … something in Mordecai may be being revived. He always suggests the “look out for number one” options, ever since book 1. “That crown is on her head, not yours.” But in this book, he’s been hiring the changeling kids to protect them, and even playing dress-up with them in his spare time.
The ironic thing about him suggesting abandoning allies is his backstory. He was going to sacrifice himself, until Odette and Chaco murdered his brother. He has justified hatred for them both, but he continues suggesting the options to sacrifice teammates for one’s own sake. He’s gone over this and over this for years and watched other Crawls and got other perspectives. I think he knows why Odette and Chaco did what they did and understands it, but it doesn’t make it any less personal or forgivable. Or maybe he’s starting to forgive and is angry about that—because how can you forgive a betrayal and murder of someone you love?
I may be WAAAAY off-base; but my point is, that Mordecai’s had a lot of time to brood over this.
Thinking of Odette advising Donut and Carl to get him as a Manager … the Prologue of Bedlam Bride showed that she prioritized Number One when she was in Dungeons, and it’s clear now that she covers her ass even when she takes risks. I do think she feels guilt about Mordecai, and that’s why she followed Carl and Donut since day one. But I have to wonder how altruistic that guilt is. Until this book, I thought she wanted Mordecai to be a manager so he’d have something to do instead of get drunk and fall apart. It may still be that, but I have to wonder now if she also wanted to put Mordecai more directly in the shoes she wore on her last Crawl; it’s his last Crawl this time. Does she want him to get better? Or does she want peace to be between them? I hope it’s the former.