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odette and mordecai’s relationship is so devastating honestly. he trusted her with his life and the lives of people he cared for. she got his brother killed over a cut of a bonus. he’s one of the only people still alive that she has left. he’s the embodiment of all her guilt, her mistakes, her hubris, her tunnel vision. he can’t escape her because she won’t let him. he swore to kill her but has spent so much time indentured that he probably wouldn’t anymore even if he could. he knows he needs her to keep the people he loves now alive, and that’s a degree of trust that he hates he has to give her. she used carl and donut to turn him into the thing she was to him when she betrayed him. he despises her. she loves him. she thinks he has no one on his side anymore and that it’s all her fault. she’s only half right.

#mordecai dcc #mordecai dungeon crawler carl #odette dungeon crawler carl #odette dcc #the eye of the bedlam bride #the eye of the bedlam bride spoilers #dcc spoilers #dungeon crawler carl #making my way through bedlam bride is like putting myself through a wood chipper joint by joint #it’s just agony all the way down #i actually can’t with odette and mordecai. the parallels go crazy #and the fact that she’s explicitly going to try to bring things down???? that she positioned herself as she did to make that happen???#HELLO???? ODETTE???? CAN WE FUCKING ELABORATE PLEASE #listening to her talk about how she watches mordecai every chance she gets was sickening #she has people she killed and then she has the one she broke. the one she left behind #she has money put aside for him when he’s free so he doesn’t have to cheat and bribe and lie his way #into a comfortable position the way that he did. she’s doing what she can to keep his hands cleaner than hers #the way she loves him is so fucking. hurtful. the way she talks about her cousin. mordecai reminding her of him #the way mordecai looked up to uzzi. you’d assume that mordecai was the elder with the way he behaves and you’d be wrong #you wonder how much of the way he loves the guild comes from how his brother treated him #and how mordecai in human form reminded her of her little baby cousin who followed her around and only had her in the whole world #jesus fucking christ. mordecai is SO GODDAMN SAD #it’s so fascinating the way that everything we see of mordecai is him being basically impotent to keep his loved ones from bar #harm*** chaco uzzi carl donut katia. all of them. he can make his potions and give them advice #but he can’t kill himself and guarantee with his death that they’d all be safe and happy and okay. and i think that eats at him #no matter what mordecai is the one that sits and watches as the people he loves find ways to destroy themselves #and he can beg and scream at them to be careful and shove potions in their hands but he can’t make them stop #much like odette. he’s relegated to the role of observer in the lives of those he loves. and i think that has ruined him a little bit #which makes his choices with the changeling kids so much more devastating because it’s the one thing he CAN do

not literate enough to convey this properly, but as a fandom we’ve overlooked the well of potential that is mommy-issues mordecai. i feel like there are so many crumbs. the fact that one of the few things he took with him when he became a game guide was his mother’s ashes. the weird way in which odette cares for him makes me think that before she screwed him over, she was just as much a maternal figure to him as he is a paternal figure to carl. the way he whole-heartedly hates her seems reminiscent to me of that special kind of anger you only have towards your parents, when you trust them fully to make everything ok and they let you down spectacularly. do i have any allies in this school of thought.

#dungeon crawler carl #mordecai dcc #odette dcc #my brain is a machine that turns free time into blorbo hour

Odette from Dungeon Crawler Carl

#my art #dungeon crawler carl #dungeon crawler carl odette #odette #odette dcc

(TRIGGER WARNING: descriptions of violence/murder. SPOILERS for The Eye of the Bedlam Bride. Also long and rambly, tangent to tangent.)

The tasks Katia needed to do to get the orchid sounded like a checklist that was two thirds done. All we need is a successful assassination! Oh, its Astrid? That’ll be difficult. Doable, but difficult.

There was nothing quick/clean about Astrid’s death. It was violent and brutal, a betrayal, a murder. She knew Carl; she thought he was trouble, but the idea of him killing her wasn’t even considerable. Can you imagine that kind of betrayal of trust?

Carl and Katia mutilated her; they ripped her apart, blinded her, she had enough time to beg. That’s gonna stick with them.

Carl mentioned earlier Katia’s line from book 3: “I’m losing myself.”

They just sliced away another piece.

Carl keeps telling himself that NPCs are better off dead if they can’t be saved, but it’s obviously a cope for him using/sacrificing/abandoning them to survive. He knows this, he knows he’s lying through his teeth to himself. In book 4, some crawlers died following his orders. And here in book 6, he chose to risk two people getting a Smite. It’s not all his fault—the Dungeon and people surrounding it are forcing these kinds of choices to be made. But still, the slope is felt.

And something else:

“… this part of the bargain is between you and me, and that’s it. If you mention any of this, the deal is off, and I will make certain everyone you’ve ever known and loved is pounded into dirt. But if you do everything I ask, you will have found a forever friend in me, both during your crawl and after. I will make certain you survive until the twelfth floor …”

- Huanxin Jinx, chapter 17, The Eye of the Bedlam Bride

“I’ll get you to the next floor, or however deep you need, if you help us. But we gotta do the card thing. You know how it works. […] You turn any of my friends blind or insane or otherwise hurt anyone we’re not already fighting, the deal is off. I will rip the card. But if you help us, you have my word we’ll help you. Do you understand?”

- Carl, chapter 25

“Be a friend to me, and I will be a friend to you.”

- Shi Maria, chapter 25

I have to wonder when Carl will start using “friend” similarly. I don’t want to say “when,” but the Dungeon does this to the survivors. The Prologue of this book showed an extreme case. And now, several Crawls later, Mordecai admitted that he sees Katia as family and friend, but still suggested, in the same speech, the option of abandoning her as a convenient solution for part of the Crown problem.

On another tangent … something in Mordecai may be being revived. He always suggests the “look out for number one” options, ever since book 1. “That crown is on her head, not yours.” But in this book, he’s been hiring the changeling kids to protect them, and even playing dress-up with them in his spare time.

The ironic thing about him suggesting abandoning allies is his backstory. He was going to sacrifice himself, until Odette and Chaco murdered his brother. He has justified hatred for them both, but he continues suggesting the options to sacrifice teammates for one’s own sake. He’s gone over this and over this for years and watched other Crawls and got other perspectives. I think he knows why Odette and Chaco did what they did and understands it, but it doesn’t make it any less personal or forgivable. Or maybe he’s starting to forgive and is angry about that—because how can you forgive a betrayal and murder of someone you love?

I may be WAAAAY off-base; but my point is, that Mordecai’s had a lot of time to brood over this.

Thinking of Odette advising Donut and Carl to get him as a Manager … the Prologue of Bedlam Bride showed that she prioritized Number One when she was in Dungeons, and it’s clear now that she covers her ass even when she takes risks. I do think she feels guilt about Mordecai, and that’s why she followed Carl and Donut since day one. But I have to wonder how altruistic that guilt is. Until this book, I thought she wanted Mordecai to be a manager so he’d have something to do instead of get drunk and fall apart. It may still be that, but I have to wonder now if she also wanted to put Mordecai more directly in the shoes she wore on her last Crawl; it’s his last Crawl this time. Does she want him to get better? Or does she want peace to be between them? I hope it’s the former.