do number ONE because it can be completely random drunk arden rambles about toy story, or anything. ^-^
things you said at 1 am . // accepting .
i. it’s the first time you have ever shown up at cooper’s place like this ; ( a bloody nose , aching muscles , a split lip , obvious tear tracks down a bruised jaw , ) & you have never been so reckless like this , but ever since the incident you rather not talk about , you’ve changed . any progress with your previous drinking issues has collapsed . you’re out getting drunk almost every night , a sarcastic comment perfectly whipped up for every occasion , & each one just bitter enough to bring some other sad , drunk bastard over the edge . you rarely try to defend yourself . you don’t see the point . though , tonight was especially bad . you didn’t just piss off one guy , but three ? four ? you aren’t sure . all you know is that you’re amazed you aren’t dead & that you were able to drunkenly stumble to cooper’s place without getting too lost .
as soon as the concern meets your ears , you wish you would’ve just got beaten to death instead so you would’ve never had to hear this . you feel guilt eating at your insides as you stagger inside . you fall against a wall & feel cooper go to help you , but you swat him away with a hand . i don’t need your help . it’s bitter & you hope he hates you . you hope he tells you to leave , or maybe he’ll finish up the job . maybe he has a surprising amount of muscle & he’ll literally kick you to the curb . but he doesn’t . he’s still as nice as ever . of course he is .
ii. this time , before you got yourself bruised & beaten like the many times before , you show up . you wonder if cooper is surprised to find you there at your usual time without a black eye or breath reeking of alcohol . though , you look just as sad & pathetic as ever , probably . can i come in ? the words are shaky . you’re on the verge of tears . he lets you in .
iii. you showed up , yet again , with a handful of injuries . you’re holding a frozen bag of peas to your swollen lip as you try to talk . i don’t know why you care so much . no one else does . the only people who care are those that can use me as a token in order to get paid . it’s fucked up- i’m not even supposed to be alive ! there’s that sentence that you say too often , but sometimes it’s all you can think about . i wasn’t supposed to survive , & fuck- i wish i didn’t . do you know how much easier life would be if i didn’t survive ? a considerable amount since i wouldn’t even have to experience it . & you wouldn’t have to deal with me & henry could rejoice about me finally being out of his hair . it would end happily for everyone . at this point , the peas have been discarded & forgotten , ( you can relate ) & you’re pacing the floor with a slight limp due to the fact that you rolled his ankle on the way here .
you stop when you reach the couch & collapse on it with a sigh . sorry . uh , night , cooper .
iv. it’s another rare occasion where you’re at cooper’s place sporting no fresh injuries or alcohol . you had come over earlier that day & just never went home & cooper had encouraged you to just stay the night . you think he’s only doing it because he’s worried about what you might do left alone in the city at this time in the night , but you agree anyway . though , you do manage to get him to let you have some of the alcohol he has in the fridge . & of course some turned into a little more & a little bit more & before you know it , you’re giggling & sleepy & drunk . yeah , yeah- i guess it’s embarrassing sometimes to have my favourite film be toy story . but i don’t know . i just love it , & i have since it came out . did you know i went at saw it in theaters the day it came out ? my mum took me & i was all excited because we never went to the movies . maybe that’s why it become my favourite . the whole .. history behind it . who knows . you take another swig from the bottle & another drunken giggle trails from your vocal chords . i have enough toy story shite at home to make a fucking shrine , honestly . it’s probably creepy for a .. wait , how old am i ?- twenty eight ? twenty nine ? eh , whatever , my point still stands . i’m old as fuck & i should have grown out of it by now .
v. you’re lonely & drunk . ( wow , what a surprise ! ) & you’ve reached that stage in your drunkenness when you’re incredibly sleepy & pretty much nothing you say makes sense . cooper’s sitting on the couch when you find yourself curling up next to him , head resting on his shoulder , one arm tucked to your side with the other draped over cooper’s middle . mhmm . face nuzzles into the crook of cooper’s neck . it’s safe to say that cooper has finally reached a point of pure trust with you , but that still doesn’t mean you’ll admit it or even act like it when you’re sober . love you , pal . you’ll argue tomorrow , if it’s ever brought up , that you say a lot of things you don’t mean when you’re drunk . you’ll apologise for everything & then probably retreat & isolate yourself from cooper the best you can before someone gets hurt .
