#off the escalator

[kimchicuddles]

Here's one I wrote a million years ago lol. I should update it with some of my favorite types of "relationship milestones" that I've experienced over the years. What are yours?Thank you so much for supporting my work!   PATREON patreon.com/kimchicuddles COMMISSIONS & BOOKS TikvaWolf.com   TIPS! venmo.com/tikvawolf

[polythought]

psst hey

hey you

are you a young person–or not-so-young person–who feels a degree of trepidation about what your relationship future might hold?

when you envision the life you’re expecting to have, do you feel just a vague, slight sense of dread, easily pushed aside because you figure that, by the time you get that old, you’ll want that life?

well I’m a 32-year-old who thought in my early 20s that surely I’d be married with a kid by age 30.

spoiler: as I approached 30, I realized I didn’t want a baby now, maybe not ever. I realized I didn’t want anything that looked like a traditional marriage, either.

what I’m saying is that although maybe you’ll want the things when you’re older that everyone says you’ll want when you’re older–and it’s fine if you do!–the big secret is that you can make up the kind of life you actually want. you’re the only one who gets to decide that.

I’m polyamorous, in two stable relationships, contentedly child-free; and more to the point, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.

you, too, can decide what you want. take all the time you need to figure out what that is. just know that it’s okay to forge your own path, and that you’re not alone if you do so. <3

[polyfamsstuff]

Someone asked what the relationship escalator is and this is a better answer than what I'd typed out

[kimchicuddles]

LOVE ME OUT HERE!! Thank you for supporting my work: patreon.com/kimchicuddles

[kimchicuddles]

Meeting relationships right where they are, without rushing to get somewhere else <3

Hey, like my comic? Like getting fun stuff in the mail? Check out my Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/kimchicuddles

[polythought]

I've been reading a lot of books about relationships lately! I finished "Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator" and now I'm reading "What Love Is: And What it Could Be." These books were both written recently, both have a great deal of material about non-monogamy without that being the sole focus, and also couldn't be more different from each other in terms of format and writing style. I can recommend them both. I'd still like to sit down sometime and write a full review of each of them, which I'll post here (if it happens). I haven't finished reading the second book yet, but I've read enough of it to feel like I can endorse it at this point.

[polythought]

[I]n my survey, far more primary than secondary partners voiced the opinion that hierarchy is mostly beneficial. … [W]hen nonmonogamous people say ‘Relationship hierarchy works for us,’ it’s important to consider who, exactly, is included in that 'us.’ Seeking all involved perspectives can yield a more complete picture.

Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator by Amy Gahran

[polythought]

Would you reblog if you're a polyamory/non-monogamy blog with a particular slant towards non-hierarchical relationships/anti-couples-privilege/solo poly/relationship anarchy? Looking for some additional like-minded folks to follow!